Individual Counseling Archives | Rockwall Christian Counseling

Understanding and Working Through a Sexless Marriage

Understanding and Working Through a Sexless Marriage

Logan Ashford, Kate Motaung2025-05-06T07:14:03+00:00May 6th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

A marriage is a little bit like a tree. A tree takes root in soil of varying quality, and it gets exposed to the elements like sun, wind, and rain. Sometimes the tree gets too much sun, or it gets battered by fierce winds, it gets too much water in a flash flood, or too little of it during a drought. In the same way, the tree can get just the right amount of what it needs so that it flourishes. The story of a tree can be seen when you check the rings in its trunk. A marriage brings two people together, typically in happy circumstances, and the two want to spend their lives together making each other happy. The couple goes through any number of circumstances, like grief and loss of loved ones or cherished dreams, financial woes, health issues, disagreements, joyous celebrations, new beginnings, accomplishing goals like paying off the mortgage or traveling, etc. Some marriages come to the point where sexual intimacy has all but evaporated, and that in itself poses several challenges for the couple. How does a marriage become sexless, and is there a way to turn things around? The good news is that there are ways for a couple to flourish and strengthen their relationship, deepening their intimacy and sense of connection. What is a sexless marriage? It’s more than likely that when two people meet and decide to get married, they feel passion for each other. Often, the couple can’t keep their hands off each other, which can be problematic since they need to wait until after their nuptials to consummate the relationship. In ways that will be described shortly, a relationship can remain intact but with the sense of intimacy and connection lost. There are different ways to understand what [...]

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Overcoming Resentment in Family Relationships

Overcoming Resentment in Family Relationships

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-04-29T07:03:15+00:00April 29th, 2025|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Every family story does not read with the fairy tale ending of “they all lived happily ever after.” We can look at the Bible and see many relationships fractured by favoritism, strife, envy, and deception among those in the same bloodline. Though many millennia later, we see evidence of the same painful and traumatic experiences in the Bible populate our own timelines and family stories. Over time, living with these conditions can wear on a person’s soul and fray hope for something better or at least different. Unresolved pain, anger, and unforgiveness deposit themselves into the soil of our lives, turning the roots of our family tree bitter and bearing the fruit of resentment. Overcoming resentment is no easy feat. We cannot ignore infractions, errors, and missteps and expect to just get over what has happened that is part of our difficult family past or present. God does not expect us to place ourselves in a position where we remain objects of someone else’s evil intentions or actions. It grieves Him to see us endure forms of abuse, neglect, or harm, whether we are experiencing it for the first time or constantly reliving it through triggers or the hold that unforgiveness may have on our souls. Part of embracing His wisdom, love, and care is tending to our safety and our souls to heal from what would have otherwise destroyed us. Resentment in the Bible In Genesis, we gather a tale of two brothers. Cain resented Abel for his offering, though God commended the younger of Adam and Eve’s first two sons (Hebrews 11:4). God, in wisdom and love, counseled Cain, advising that his offering would be accepted if he would address the sin that crouched at his door. God knew that envy was waiting to devour Cain, but [...]

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Ways to Reduce Anxiety Surrounding Money

Ways to Reduce Anxiety Surrounding Money

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2025-04-29T06:36:59+00:00April 29th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Money is often a taboo topic, yet financial strain can trigger chronic anxiety in people. People suffering from anxiety linked to money are often embarrassed to admit it. They feel that admitting to a counselor that they struggle to pay their bills and put food on the table somehow makes them less worthy of mental health help. So, the cycle continues. Let’s normalize speaking freely about money issues and how they affect mental health, starting with ways to reduce anxiety surrounding money. Dealing with Anxiety Surrounding Money Anxiety can make it difficult to sleep at night, and if you struggle to keep up with the expenses, then you are familiar with those sleepless nights. Knowing it could be a debt collector, you may be well acquainted with panic attacks, heart palpitations, and trembling when the phone rings. If you are looking for ways to reduce anxiety over money, you have come to the right place. The following list delves into actions you can take today to gain control of your finances. Feeling in control, setting goals, and making headway in your finances will create a sense of accomplishment. You will have more confidence in yourself and trigger the brain’s reward center, lowering your stress level. Make budgeting your friend The first step to learning ways to reduce anxiety about money is to become aware of your monthly income and expenses. The next step is to budget your income, so you know exactly what you have to work with monthly. Dave Ramsey, the financial radio show host, recommends using a zero-based budget. To start, you list your income for the month and then assign money to each of your expenses down to the dollar. Always start with the basics, such as tithing, savings, mortgage or rent, utility bills, groceries, and [...]

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Bible Verses for Mourning: Finding Comfort in Difficult Times

Bible Verses for Mourning: Finding Comfort in Difficult Times

Logan Ashford, Kate Motaung2025-04-24T12:20:24+00:00April 24th, 2025|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

There are moments and seasons in life when it matters more than anything to be seen and heard. The things we think, feel, know, and experience matter and that affirmation counts at certain times more than others. When you go through loss and bereavement, it can be utterly devastating. It can unmoor you from everything that you know, and it makes a difference to know at that moment that someone knows, sees, and cares. We all process loss differently. Some people want others around them, others want to be alone with their thoughts and reach out for connection when needed. Still others want that one loved one with whom they feel safe, and they can be vulnerable. Grief does strange things to us, and how we respond isn’t predictable. The main thing is to find ways to deal with the grief, and not to bury it. One place to turn to for help in processing grief is Scripture. It deals with grief, often in its raw and unvarnished form, and it can help us to process our own grief as we see how other godly people made sense of what feels senseless. Comfort from Scripture During Mourning Often, when a person loses a loved one, they are said to be “in mourning” or “in a period of mourning”. This can make it sound as though there is a defined or limited time to mourn your loved one. In truth, grief remains with you for the rest of your life, and it’s mainly about finding ways to cope with it and do life without your loved one. The mourning may take a different shape, but grief remains a part of your life. Whether it is the loss of a loved one, a cherished pet, or even the end of a [...]

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Breaking Up is Hard to Do: Navigating Romantic Relationships and Issues of the Heart

Breaking Up is Hard to Do: Navigating Romantic Relationships and Issues of the Heart

Lori Askew, Kate Motaung2025-04-24T11:57:39+00:00April 24th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Billions of people populate planet Earth. Naturally, it feels like we’ve discovered hidden treasure when meeting “the one” of a million potential romantic interests. It’s exciting to start a new romantic relationship and to learn about that person, while also discovering and developing ourselves. As the relationship progresses, we discover the beauty of connection, learning to give and receive love. Yet, as time evolves, the match we have made may look and feel different than we remember at the start. Often, what seemed magical in the beginning feels weighty in time. King Solomon, who penned many proverbs, echoed that God coordinates our purpose with the times and seasons of our lives. When relationships fray, we may question why an individual came into our lives. Growing a healthy relationship takes two people with God at the core, but everyone who comes together won’t necessarily remain together. Whether joining with a potential partner or separating from them, our hearts require tender care as we pray, seek counsel, and follow the Holy Spirit’s lead. Not only do we need to discern God’s heart before we enter a dating partnership, but we also need to search His heart before terminating a relationship. This article outfits us with spiritual insight and practical considerations for relationships when plagued with issues of the heart. Suitability and Breaking Up While some people may not have all of what we are looking for, that may not mean they are an unsuitable fit or a poor choice. Likewise, some people may possess desirable qualities, and not be suitable or well-matched for us. According to the Bible, God wants us to have partners that are a good fit. Genesis 2:18 says, “…It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” [...]

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How to Use Prayers of Lament as Part of the Grieving Process

How to Use Prayers of Lament as Part of the Grieving Process

Kate Motaung2025-04-15T05:53:49+00:00April 15th, 2025|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

It can be both a delight and a relief to find an author or poet who expresses a thought or feeling in a way that feels as if it came straight out of you. It’s a delight because you’ve found just the right words to express something you have felt or thought. It’s also a relief because it confirms that you aren’t the only person who has felt this way before. You aren’t alone or on an outer fringe inaccessible to others. It is this way with lament. We have other thoughts and emotions, such as what we experience when we go through grief, loss, and sadness. Whether you are recently bereaved or have been dealing with the loss of a loved one for a while, there is comfort to be found in being able to fully express what you’re feeling and experiencing. Prayers of lament may be one way to do this, and they can be an effective part of the grieving process. Grieving as a Process When you lose someone, or you anticipate that you will lose someone, your whole being experiences that loss. You had a connection with that person, and that connection is lost and irrevocably changed. Even in situations where you felt estranged or even hostile toward the other person, you can still experience grief. Grief is a process and a rather convoluted one at that. It’s about coming to terms with your loss, and realigning your world so that you can carry on living with your loved one’s absence as part of the new reality. Grieving is about acknowledging the loss, allowing yourself to experience all the emotions and thoughts that come with that loss, and learning how to cope. Each person grieves in their own way. One reason grief is a convoluted [...]

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A Few Key Signs of Clinical Depression

A Few Key Signs of Clinical Depression

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2025-03-28T06:35:08+00:00March 28th, 2025|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Have you ever found yourself at odds with yourself? You may have told yourself to avoid engaging in certain behaviors, but despite yourself, you engage in the very behaviors you wanted to avoid. It can leave you feeling like you’ve betrayed yourself and can’t trust yourself. Being at odds with yourself in this way can be deeply unsettling, and it’s unfortunately one of the things that depression can do to a person. If a person has clinical depression, it can lead them to have thoughts that, while being untrue and unhelpful to one’s well-being, will nonetheless suggest themselves powerfully and ring as true. You can’t trust what your mind is telling you, especially when it causes you to endlessly rehearse negative thoughts. It helps to know the signs of clinical depression and to seek treatment for it. A Brief Breakdown of Clinical Depression Clinical depression is a mood disorder that affects how a person feels, thinks, and acts. A person’s ability to function in daily life is seriously hampered by depression because it can affect their cognitive ability and make them fatigued or lethargic. Clinical depression is also known as major depressive disorder, and it is a serious mental health condition marked by persistent feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and loss of interest. Depression is a common condition that affects around 5% of the global population, and it can occur at any age. It affects people from all walks of life. Women are more likely to experience depression, though that figure could be inaccurate because men are also typically less willing to report that they’re experiencing depression and seek help for it. There are several different types of depression, including major depressive disorder, postpartum depression, persistent depressive disorder, seasonal affective disorder, and bipolar disorder. A challenge that someone with depression [...]

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Aging and Isolation: How to Prevent Loneliness

Aging and Isolation: How to Prevent Loneliness

Lori Askew, Kate Motaung2025-03-26T10:47:54+00:00March 20th, 2025|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

When you think about getting older, your first thoughts may be based on fear and dread. For example, you may have concerns regarding rising healthcare costs, physical ailments, slowing down, losing loved ones, or getting left behind from the metaphorical rivers of life. However, while those concerns are real and important, elderly people often develop full, meaningful, and fun lives. One of the key strategies to creating an abundant and fulfilling life as we age is to navigate isolation and, therefore, loneliness. While we can’t skip the natural ebb and flow of life’s highs and lows, we can safeguard ourselves from loneliness by making intentional choices. Ways to Guard Against Loneliness as You Approach Aging First, the most important way to prevent loneliness involves surrounding yourself with meaningful relationships. This may mean looking at your current relationships to see if they are serving you well, or even considering moving closer to family and friends. It may also mean moving to a community where there are many others in your age range. To form friendships and relationships that are meaningful and that can stand the test of time, it’s important to make sure you know how to build new ones. So, before you make any sweeping changes in your geography, ask yourself these questions: Am I around enough people I enjoy and with whom I could begin new friendships? Do I like the people I’ve surrounded myself with? Are the people in my everyday life leading a lifestyle that allows for hobbies and time with friends or are they too busy? If my top two friends right now were to move away or, sadly, pass away, would I have others nearby with whom I could deepen friendships or familial relationships? Are there community resources where I can turn to make new [...]

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God’s Process: Prayer and Spiritual Development

God’s Process: Prayer and Spiritual Development

Logan Ashford, Kate Motaung2025-03-26T11:54:37+00:00March 19th, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

Longing is a part of our lives as Christ’s followers. Often frustration accompanies it in between the time we have a God-vision and experience it coming to fruition. We place our faith in God, often for a specific outcome, anticipating the outward manifestation of all we have previewed in our imagination. However, the way that God transports us to a place He may have revealed doesn’t always align with how we think we will get there. Nonetheless, we pray, we proclaim the Scripture, and we make plans and create space to welcome all that He has promised. Hope is built into the verse that defines and describes our most basic understanding of what it means to believe (Hebrews 11:1). We apply the same principle of apprehending the unseen when we confess Christ and convert from our sinful state. The process of our spiritual development is challenged when faith is stretched by other factors, such as time and circumstance. They buffet our belief and weary our resolve, complicating what seemed simpler at one point in our journey. Sometimes, our faith flounders along the way, but God never abandons us. As Beginning and End, our Everlasting Father remains committed to the destination and the long path between prayer and manifested promise (Revelation 22:13; Isaiah 9:6). He is not daunted by time, as He created it to serve His purposes. Additionally, He fashions circumstances to work together for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28). Here, in the meantime seasons, He purifies, prunes, and develops patience in us. He processes us, preparing us for what’s next. God’s Process of Spiritual Development After decades of longing and years of waiting on a promised son, God tested Abraham, commanding him to sacrifice Isaac (Genesis 22). It seemed incomprehensible, but Abraham remained confident in the [...]

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7 Steps for an Effective Personal Development Plan

7 Steps for an Effective Personal Development Plan

Logan Ashford, Kate Motaung2025-04-21T12:59:47+00:00March 12th, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

How is success achieved? Many of us have ideas and plans that don’t come to fruition. One reason ideas founder is that no plan is generated to put them in motion. If you’re thinking about developing some aspect of your life such as dealing with stress, getting married, or communicating better, it’s important to have a plan of action. Creating a personal development plan is something anyone can do for themselves. As you put your plan together, knowing yourself will play a huge role in the process. There’s no use having goals that don’t appeal to you, and there’s no use in creating a development plan that requires resources you don’t possess and have no way to acquire. In other words, a development plan should be realistic and tailored to your unique needs and situation. Steps in Creating Your Development Plan As you consider steps in your personal development plan, one of the most important things you can do is determine your goals. There’s so much that can get in the way of making things happen that the best chance you have is to pursue a goal that matters to you and one that will make the most difference in your life. Some of the steps to consider in putting your plan together include the following: Choose your goal and write it down Open your favorite note-taking app or take a clean sheet of paper and write down the goals that you’d consider worth pursuing. You can note today’s date and then put down seven to ten goals that you would like to accomplish in the next 12 months. As you write these goals down, write them in the present tense. That gives you a sense of immediacy as well as a clearer view of what matters to you. [...]

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