Individual Counseling Archives | Rockwall Christian Counseling

What Does It Mean to Have Abandonment Issues In Relationships?

What Does It Mean to Have Abandonment Issues In Relationships?

Dr. Barbara Orticelli, Kate Motaung2025-08-12T08:54:31+00:00August 12th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The term abandonment issues in relationships refers to an irrational fear of being deserted or rejected by those closest to you. People with abandonment issues have a hard time trusting others or believing that their partner’s feelings are sincere. This can lead to a fear of intimacy and seeing problems where none exist. Reasons People Develop Abandonment Issues In Relationships Abandonment issues in relationships most often stem from family instability growing up. Having a primary caregiver who was unpredictable and inconsistent, for example, or being severely traumatized by physical or emotional neglect or abuse. They can, however, also be rooted in attachment injuries that happen later in life, such as an unexpected divorce or breakup, being betrayed by a partner, or the death of a loved one. Common Characteristics Of People With Abandonment Issues Insecurity You feel needy and insecure, never knowing what to expect, seek constant validation and reassurance that your partner really loves you and is not going to leave you and look for signs that he or she does not. Fear of intimacy You may avoid getting too close to another person or becoming fully committed to a relationship because you associate intimacy with eventual pain and loss. Clinginess On the flip side, you may be clingy, overly attached to your partner, dependent on him or her to meet all your needs, and afraid of any distance between you. You try to micromanage every detail of your relationship and use subtle forms of emotional manipulation to make life feel safe and predictable, which it never does. Trust Issues You don’t believe anyone is reliable, have trouble trusting other people’s commitment and intentions, and are convinced everyone will eventually leave you. Even when you are in a loving, supportive relationship, you still struggle with jealousy and suspicion, overthink [...]

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The Truth about Burnout and PTSD

The Truth about Burnout and PTSD

Amanda Osowski, Kate Motaung2025-08-08T07:33:03+00:00August 8th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

As of 2025, an estimated 66% of the American workforce is experiencing burnout in their careers. According to recent information, women are more likely to experience burnout than men, and the average person experiences some kind of burnout before the age of twenty-five. Due to its recent popularity, even the term “burnout” has become a buzzword word which might have caused it to lose meaning. So, what is burnout? How do you know if you are experiencing it, and what can be done about it? The Truth about Burnout Burnout is often used as a sanitized description of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD is a mental health condition caused by being exposed to traumas like war, genocide, or a global disaster. However, people also experience PTSD from experiencing far more common traumas like crippling workloads, demanding schedules, insurmountable debt, and toxic home or work environments. Few people will readily accept that what they are experiencing is PTSD, but often that is the best description of their mental health state. It starts to make sense once you realize that you are pouring all of your time, energy, and emotional resources into your jobs, schools, or difficult relationships. Sometimes, even when you are doing more enjoyable things like hobbies and socializing, you might get to the point where you are running on empty. However, you do not have to stay there, but it does take intentionality. Identification It’s hard to find a balance when it feels like life is crashing down, and that you are the only thing that keeps disaster at bay. Living under these kinds of stressful conditions forces your nervous system into survival mode. Living in this state can cause issues that can be harmful to us. It can get to the point where you no longer experience [...]

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Self-Reflection and Spiritual Maturity: A Pathway to Inner Growth

Self-Reflection and Spiritual Maturity: A Pathway to Inner Growth

Joseph Bennett, Kate Motaung2025-07-30T09:36:00+00:00July 30th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

Self-reflection is a basic part of spiritual development and emotional wellness in the Christian lifestyle. By examining our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, we create a pathway that leads us to deeper spiritual maturity and true transformation. By intentionally engaging in regular self-examination, Christians begin to understand the patterns that shape their responses and actions. The process of self-reflection can be challenging to navigate because it requires individuals to confront aspects of themselves that they would rather avoid. On the positive side, this journey can cultivate growth in faith and spiritual maturity. With careful examination of inner lives, individuals are intentionally creating space for God to work in areas that need healing and transformation. Let us examine and probe our ways, And let us return to the Lord. – Lamentations 3:40, NASB Biblical Self-Examination Believers can discern a clear mandate in Scripture to engage in self-reflection as a part of their spiritual development. When self-examination is established as a practice along with prayer and Bible study, spiritual maturity will continue to progress. Even in the Old Testament, there was a struggle with various issues regarding self-reflection and spiritual maturity. The key to spiritual maturity is to pursue humility with an honest intention. Biblical self-examination is quite a bit different from secular self-reflection because it involves recognizing God’s sovereign power in the process of discovery. Using the lens of the Scriptures, believers can examine their hearts, minds, and motivations and gain access to divine wisdom that transforms human understanding. This is how Christian self-reflection is distinguished from psychological approaches. Christian counselors understand the importance of grounding self-reflection in biblical truth to prevent unhealthy rumination or intense self-focus. It is important to know that spiritual maternity develops through honest assessment guided by God’s word and Spirit. Believers can maintain a proper perspective [...]

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Finding Help for Hoarders Who Are Children

Finding Help for Hoarders Who Are Children

Grace Mavindidze2025-07-16T10:33:48+00:00July 16th, 2025|Christian Counseling for Children, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

If you think back to when you were a kid, you probably remember having a few favorite items, maybe a stuffed animal, a toy truck, or a stack of drawings you kept for years. Now, imagine a child for whom almost every little object, whether a broken pencil, a piece of string, or an old toy, feels like something irreplaceable. Naturally, finding help for hoarders is no easy feat, let alone when the hoarders are kids. When it comes to children who hoard, their belongings aren’t just stuff to them. They can hold deep emotional meaning, becoming part of how the child views themselves or copes with difficult emotions. The reasons children hoard are complex and often tied to emotional and psychological factors. For many young hoarders, the items they collect quickly become their link to memories or feelings, making it hard for the child to let go of them, even if they seem trivial to others. Hoarding can also be a way for children to deal with overwhelming emotions. Kids who have experienced trauma or big life changes, like moving, divorce, or bereavement, might turn to hoarding as a way to cope. The items they gather can feel like a way to hold onto a sense of control in a world that feels uncertain. What does hoarding look like in children? Child hoarders quickly become emotionally attached to things that others might consider trash or clutter. The child might hold onto drawings, toys, or even things they’ve outgrown. Separating the child from items may even cause panic attacks or meltdowns. Their room or living space can quickly become cluttered or full of piling up unused items. They may also resist attempts by family members to clean or declutter, which can lead to conflicts at home. Socially, kids who hoard [...]

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“I Am Angry!” What Your Anger Is Saying, and How to Deal with It

“I Am Angry!” What Your Anger Is Saying, and How to Deal with It

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2025-07-10T07:38:56+00:00July 10th, 2025|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Is it such a bad thing for you to feel or get angry? Anger is a powerful emotion that often doesn’t receive the appreciation it deserves. One important reason for this is that the circumstances that typically trigger anger and the ways anger is expressed were not proportionate. It’s not pleasant to revisit the reasons we got angry or the ways we reacted. These negative associations become confused with anger itself. Instead of lumping anger and these negative experiences together, there may be value in recognizing how anger can be helpful and becoming acquainted with the healthy ways anger can be expressed. These steps can help you come to terms with your anger and improve various facets of your life, including your ability to regulate emotions and address your relationships with others. Anger – Yay or Nay? When you think about anger, do you ever think of it as something that the Lord may have given you for a purpose? The sum of your life experiences may lead you to say “No” and feel entirely justified in saying so. Frankly, Scripture says a lot about anger, and most of it is cautionary. Whenever human anger is mentioned, it’s usually a warning that it shouldn’t be indulged. One poignant example of this is from James, which reads, Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God – James 1:19-20, ESV Human anger is placed in stark contrast to a life that does right by God and with others. The idea is to avoid anger altogether, right? It’s possible to take it this way, but that leaves you with an awkward silence when you encounter various Bible passages about God’s [...]

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Unrealistic Expectations of People with Depression

Unrealistic Expectations of People with Depression

Amanda Osowski, Kate Motaung2025-07-01T07:50:25+00:00July 1st, 2025|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Depression is often complex and confusing. It can be challenging to identify, and not everyone knows how to cope with it, whether it is in themselves, a loved one, or an employee. People dealing with depression often do not realize that they are depressed or else cannot easily articulate their experiences to others, which can leave a lot of space for misunderstanding. It is common to have unrealistic expectations of people with depression, but it is possible to correct these expectations by learning about depression and how to approach those who are struggling with it. Depression in All Its Forms Depression appears in various forms and for many different reasons. While it can be a component of other mental or physical illnesses, such as mood disorders or chronic diagnoses, sometimes it can be either related to seasons or for seemingly no reason at all. Some people feel mild depression at certain times of the year, month, or day. In those cases, depression is linked to the seasons, weather, or something happening inside a person’s body. Other times, a person can find themselves struggling with low energy and no interest in life, with little cause as to why they are experiencing depression. If it is connected to something broader or unseen, it is not always simple to understand or cope with. It is important to keep in mind that depression is real, it is common, and it exists on a complicated spectrum. Some depression arises seemingly out of nowhere and is easy to cope with, while other depression is debilitating and life-changing, crippling a person and causing them to lose all interest and hope in life. Almost all depression is treatable with a combination of medication, therapy, diet, exercise, and life changes. However, sometimes it’s necessary to treat the surrounding [...]

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Sleep Anxiety: Signs and Treatment

Sleep Anxiety: Signs and Treatment

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2025-06-26T08:44:05+00:00June 26th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

One of the things we have in common is that we all need to step back from whatever is happening in our lives, close our eyes, and become lost in sleep. We all need to sleep, and being able to sleep despite turmoil in our lives is a gift the Lord gives us. That’s why David can say, I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear though tens of thousands assail me on every side – Psalm 3:5-6, NIV When we sleep, it allows us to recharge ourselves and maintain our well-being physically, spiritually, and mentally. Amid all this, however, is the reality of sleep anxiety. Sleep anxiety, which is sometimes called sleep-related anxiety, is a condition that disrupts a person’s ability to fall asleep, stay asleep, or get restful and quality sleep. Many people struggle with this condition, which is rooted in persistent worries, fear, and nervousness around sleep. Causes of Sleep Anxiety Sleep is a necessary part of our lives. When you don’t get enough sleep, it affects how you react to others and your capacity to engage in creative thinking. It even impacts how you feel about yourself and the world around you. As necessary as sleep is, it can be disrupted in several ways, and different factors can contribute to sleep anxiety. One of the factors that can lead to sleep anxiety is when you’re experiencing stress and feel overwhelmed by aspects of your life. If you’re undergoing significant life changes, or you’re facing a lot of work pressures, or if there’s relational or other conflict you’re dealing with in your life, that can all heighten your levels of anxiety, affecting your sleep negatively. If you have an anxiety disorder like social anxiety, that too puts [...]

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Preventing Generational Attachment Issues from Affecting Your Kids

Preventing Generational Attachment Issues from Affecting Your Kids

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-06-21T06:35:16+00:00June 23rd, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Sometimes, ingrained habits from our past can unknowingly affect how we parent and influence the emotional development of our children in ways we might not even realize. This is often the case with negative attachment issues, which are usually repeated patterns that quietly shape the emotional landscape of our families. Perhaps you’ve already noticed your child’s hesitation to connect with others, or maybe how they act out when they feel scared or uncertain. As a parent, you might even catch yourself repeating the same emotional patterns that you experienced growing up and wonder why you struggle to connect in certain ways with your child. If these things sound familiar, it might be a sign of generational attachment issues that can affect both you and your kids. Unresolved attachment issues are more than just a set of behaviors; they are deeply ingrained emotional patterns that begin in childhood. When these issues are ignored, they can have long-lasting effects, not only on us but on our children as well. The good news is that with awareness and intentional effort, these cycles can be broken. What are attachment issues, and how do they develop? Most of these issues usually start in someone’s childhood. They’re rooted in the ways children bond with their adults in their early lives. For example, you might have experienced a parent who was there for you some days, but distant or distracted on others. As a result, you grew up uncertain about whether or not you could trust others. If you didn’t have a consistent, secure emotional foundation, you might struggle with forming similar bonds with your children. This inconsistency sometimes leads to approval seeking and a constant cry for reassurance (called anxious attachment). Alternatively, you could withdraw from emotional closeness (called avoidant attachment). There are also cases [...]

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How to Deal with Anxiety Attacks

How to Deal with Anxiety Attacks

Melissa Plantz2025-06-21T06:12:15+00:00June 23rd, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Anxiety attacks come on suddenly and are often referred to as panic attacks. If you have experienced them, you are probably wondering how to deal with anxiety attacks. The good news is that there are strategies you can use to lessen the severity of an attack and lifestyle changes you can make to reduce your risk of having another one. Tips for Dealing with Anxiety Attacks Learning how to deal with anxiety attacks takes away their power. No longer will you be worried about having a sudden panic attack in a crowded store or on the road. You will learn to ground yourself in the present, focus your mind, use your senses, and improve your physical and cognitive health. As you read the suggestions below, choose a few to try. Specific strategies improve your health, but only if you practice them daily. If you have any questions, consult a counselor. Try to step away Stress and anxiety can trigger an attack due to an increase in cortisol and adrenaline, hormones responsible for the fight-or-flight response. Try to step away from the situation when you become nervous and anxious. This might mean pulling the car over to a safe place or walking out of a room. Take a few deep breaths, exhaling slowly in between each one. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing and heart rate. Deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system to reduce anxiety. Ground yourself Grounding brings you back into the present moment and away from fears and worries. Try the 5-4-3-2-1 Method of grounding by focusing your mind on your surroundings. First, look around at the items closest to you. Name five things you can see. Next, find four things you can touch. Notice their texture. Then, name three things you can hear. Next, [...]

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How to Avoid Creating Abandonment Issues in Relationships

How to Avoid Creating Abandonment Issues in Relationships

Amanda Osowski, Kate Motaung2025-06-07T07:25:03+00:00June 9th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

I invite you to pause and reflect for a moment. Have you ever stopped to ask how experiences in your past have shaped your view of relationships? Maybe you find it hard to trust other people, and your belief is that people simply aren’t trustworthy. Abandonment issues in relationships are not always hard to spot. Some people find it hard to open up because they’re afraid of being disappointed or, worse, getting hurt. These and other postures in relationships come from somewhere, and often they’re connected to past experiences. There’s no doubt that our past shapes us, our expectations, our fears, and our hopes. Sometimes we are aware of this and make conscious efforts to correct any bias our past creates in future scenarios, but at other times the effects the past has on us is unknown or we are unaware. We all need to self-reflect, and beyond that, invite the Lord to heal areas of insecurity or fear that still have a hold on us. The issues that develop because of particular past experiences can vary; however, abandonment issues are common and can present in different ways depending on the person. Additionally, it’s possible to create fresh abandonment issues in a relationship by acting in certain ways toward partners. It is important to note here that abandonment can occur in romantic relationships; however, it can be present in friend or family relationships as well. No matter the type of relationship, it is important to address fears for a healthier, more secure relationship. What are abandonment issues? The ability to understand abandonment issues starts with defining what it means. The term “abandonment issues” typically refers to the intense fears that a person has, which are related to rejection, loss, or a sense of disconnection from relationships and people they [...]

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