Individual Counseling Archives | Rockwall Christian Counseling

Preventing Generational Attachment Issues from Affecting Your Kids

Preventing Generational Attachment Issues from Affecting Your Kids

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-06-21T06:35:16+00:00June 23rd, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Sometimes, ingrained habits from our past can unknowingly affect how we parent and influence the emotional development of our children in ways we might not even realize. This is often the case with negative attachment issues, which are usually repeated patterns that quietly shape the emotional landscape of our families. Perhaps you’ve already noticed your child’s hesitation to connect with others, or maybe how they act out when they feel scared or uncertain. As a parent, you might even catch yourself repeating the same emotional patterns that you experienced growing up and wonder why you struggle to connect in certain ways with your child. If these things sound familiar, it might be a sign of generational attachment issues that can affect both you and your kids. Unresolved attachment issues are more than just a set of behaviors; they are deeply ingrained emotional patterns that begin in childhood. When these issues are ignored, they can have long-lasting effects, not only on us but on our children as well. The good news is that with awareness and intentional effort, these cycles can be broken. What are attachment issues, and how do they develop? Most of these issues usually start in someone’s childhood. They’re rooted in the ways children bond with their adults in their early lives. For example, you might have experienced a parent who was there for you some days, but distant or distracted on others. As a result, you grew up uncertain about whether or not you could trust others. If you didn’t have a consistent, secure emotional foundation, you might struggle with forming similar bonds with your children. This inconsistency sometimes leads to approval seeking and a constant cry for reassurance (called anxious attachment). Alternatively, you could withdraw from emotional closeness (called avoidant attachment). There are also cases [...]

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How to Deal with Anxiety Attacks

How to Deal with Anxiety Attacks

Melissa Plantz2025-06-21T06:12:15+00:00June 23rd, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

Anxiety attacks come on suddenly and are often referred to as panic attacks. If you have experienced them, you are probably wondering how to deal with anxiety attacks. The good news is that there are strategies you can use to lessen the severity of an attack and lifestyle changes you can make to reduce your risk of having another one. Tips for Dealing with Anxiety Attacks Learning how to deal with anxiety attacks takes away their power. No longer will you be worried about having a sudden panic attack in a crowded store or on the road. You will learn to ground yourself in the present, focus your mind, use your senses, and improve your physical and cognitive health. As you read the suggestions below, choose a few to try. Specific strategies improve your health, but only if you practice them daily. If you have any questions, consult a counselor. Try to step away Stress and anxiety can trigger an attack due to an increase in cortisol and adrenaline, hormones responsible for the fight-or-flight response. Try to step away from the situation when you become nervous and anxious. This might mean pulling the car over to a safe place or walking out of a room. Take a few deep breaths, exhaling slowly in between each one. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing and heart rate. Deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system to reduce anxiety. Ground yourself Grounding brings you back into the present moment and away from fears and worries. Try the 5-4-3-2-1 Method of grounding by focusing your mind on your surroundings. First, look around at the items closest to you. Name five things you can see. Next, find four things you can touch. Notice their texture. Then, name three things you can hear. Next, [...]

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How to Avoid Creating Abandonment Issues in Relationships

How to Avoid Creating Abandonment Issues in Relationships

Amanda Osowski, Kate Motaung2025-06-07T07:25:03+00:00June 9th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

I invite you to pause and reflect for a moment. Have you ever stopped to ask how experiences in your past have shaped your view of relationships? Maybe you find it hard to trust other people, and your belief is that people simply aren’t trustworthy. Abandonment issues in relationships are not always hard to spot. Some people find it hard to open up because they’re afraid of being disappointed or, worse, getting hurt. These and other postures in relationships come from somewhere, and often they’re connected to past experiences. There’s no doubt that our past shapes us, our expectations, our fears, and our hopes. Sometimes we are aware of this and make conscious efforts to correct any bias our past creates in future scenarios, but at other times the effects the past has on us is unknown or we are unaware. We all need to self-reflect, and beyond that, invite the Lord to heal areas of insecurity or fear that still have a hold on us. The issues that develop because of particular past experiences can vary; however, abandonment issues are common and can present in different ways depending on the person. Additionally, it’s possible to create fresh abandonment issues in a relationship by acting in certain ways toward partners. It is important to note here that abandonment can occur in romantic relationships; however, it can be present in friend or family relationships as well. No matter the type of relationship, it is important to address fears for a healthier, more secure relationship. What are abandonment issues? The ability to understand abandonment issues starts with defining what it means. The term “abandonment issues” typically refers to the intense fears that a person has, which are related to rejection, loss, or a sense of disconnection from relationships and people they [...]

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Codependency and Narcissism: Differences and Similarities

Codependency and Narcissism: Differences and Similarities

Kate Motaung2025-06-03T06:49:12+00:00June 3rd, 2025|Codependency, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Codependency is a behavioral condition characterized by a need to feel purposeful and valued. Codependents are people pleasers who have difficulty setting boundaries or saying no. Their sense of self-worth is determined by whether they receive approval and validation from others. They feel driven to take care of everyone else’s needs at the expense of their own. Fear of being rejected or abandoned will lead them to engage in enabling behaviors that perpetuate the dysfunctional dynamics of their relationships. Narcissism, on the other hand, is a behavioral condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others, and a deep, unrelenting need for attention and admiration. Narcissists hold a grandiose view of themselves and desire to be the center of attention. They may resort to boasting and exaggerating about their talents and achievements to look superior, promote their own self-importance, and receive the praise and recognition they need in order to boost their ego and validate their sense of self-worth. They have no regard for anyone else’s well-being and will manipulate and exploit others to achieve their own wants and needs, without any feeling of guilt or remorse. Similarities Between Codependency and Narcissism Both codependency and narcissism tend to be byproducts of growing up in a toxic, dysfunctional family environment, and while most people think of them as opposites, they actually share several similarities, with emotional needs at their core. Codependents and narcissists both have trouble dealing with intimacy and boundaries, communicating openly, and handling criticism. They have poor self-esteem, a strong desire to feel special, seek external validation from others to maintain their sense of self-worth, and need control. Differences Between Codependency and Narcissism Both codependents and narcissists lack self-love and try to achieve it through their relationships. Their reasons and methods, however, can [...]

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Signs of Burnout at Work

Signs of Burnout at Work

Melissa Plantz2025-05-22T07:27:32+00:00May 22nd, 2025|Depression, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There once was a time when the weekend was glorious. You took care of household chores, spent time with family, read a novel or watched a movie, and worshipped God with your much-loved church family. But then, Sunday night, you felt it creeping over you. That dreaded feeling that overtakes you every Sunday night. You have hit burnout at work. As time wears on, you notice those feelings now consume your evenings and your weekends. You feel on edge, irritable, depressed, and physically ill at the thought of going back to work. Yet, you have no choice. You have bills to pay and adult responsibilities. Is something happening with you, or are these signs of burnout at work? The Signs of Burnout at Work Are you displaying the signs of burnout at work? Have coworkers commented on your mood or attitude? Do you notice your patience seems thin around customers or clients? If so, you might be in burnout mode. The following is a list of common signs of burnout at work. You feel dread the evening before work You feel like you do not fit in with the culture or the people at work You struggle to get to work and clock in Your supervisor makes comments about your lack of motivation You cannot concentrate on tasks You lose patience with coworkers, supervisors, and customers You feel exhausted Your sleep routine has changed Your appetite has changed You experience headaches, stomachaches, and other unexplainable physical ailments You snap at loved ones You feel depressed or anxious You do not feel like you contribute anything to your job Your position no longer fulfills you Job burnout can affect all areas of your life, including your physical and mental health. If your job is misaligned with your values, you will feel [...]

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Common Symptoms of Stress and Anxiety

Common Symptoms of Stress and Anxiety

Dr. Barbara Orticelli, Kate Motaung2025-05-15T07:43:30+00:00May 15th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

It seems like more people are experiencing symptoms of stress and anxiety. In fact, according to the National Institute of Mental Health, as many as 31% of the United States adult population will experience an anxiety disorder during their lifetime; that is, millions of Americans struggling with the symptoms of stress and anxiety. The Harmful Effects of Chronic Stress and Anxiety The harmful effects of the symptoms of stress and anxiety can lead to a physical and mental decline in health. When you feel overwhelmed, your body releases cortisol and adrenaline to help you through the “danger.” However, chronic stress can keep your body suspended in this fight-or-flight response. Symptoms of Stress and Anxiety You may not experience all of the symptoms of stress and anxiety for them to affect your health. For example, increased blood pressure and resting heart rate over a long period will increase your risk of heart disease, heart attack, and stroke. Consult your doctor to rule out any medical conditions and seek counseling to help you manage your symptoms. Digestive Issues Increased cortisol and adrenaline can trigger the fight-or-flight response, increasing stomach acid. When stressed, you may experience acid reflux, heartburn, excessive burning, and stomach pain. Consult with your physician about medical treatments to soothe your digestive tract as you work on stress management. Headaches Stress or tension headaches can feel like a vice around your head. You may feel this headache on both sides of the head. If you are a woman, you may also experience more severe headaches on the days leading up to your menstrual period. Over-the-counter medications can help as well as getting plenty of sleep. Increased Heart Rate Adrenaline gets your heart pumping, preparing you to run or fight. Chronic stress and anxiety can cause your resting heart rate [...]

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Understanding and Working Through a Sexless Marriage

Understanding and Working Through a Sexless Marriage

Kate Motaung2025-05-06T07:14:03+00:00May 6th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

A marriage is a little bit like a tree. A tree takes root in soil of varying quality, and it gets exposed to the elements like sun, wind, and rain. Sometimes the tree gets too much sun, or it gets battered by fierce winds, it gets too much water in a flash flood, or too little of it during a drought. In the same way, the tree can get just the right amount of what it needs so that it flourishes. The story of a tree can be seen when you check the rings in its trunk. A marriage brings two people together, typically in happy circumstances, and the two want to spend their lives together making each other happy. The couple goes through any number of circumstances, like grief and loss of loved ones or cherished dreams, financial woes, health issues, disagreements, joyous celebrations, new beginnings, accomplishing goals like paying off the mortgage or traveling, etc. Some marriages come to the point where sexual intimacy has all but evaporated, and that in itself poses several challenges for the couple. How does a marriage become sexless, and is there a way to turn things around? The good news is that there are ways for a couple to flourish and strengthen their relationship, deepening their intimacy and sense of connection. What is a sexless marriage? It’s more than likely that when two people meet and decide to get married, they feel passion for each other. Often, the couple can’t keep their hands off each other, which can be problematic since they need to wait until after their nuptials to consummate the relationship. In ways that will be described shortly, a relationship can remain intact but with the sense of intimacy and connection lost. There are different ways to understand what [...]

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Overcoming Resentment in Family Relationships

Overcoming Resentment in Family Relationships

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-04-29T07:03:15+00:00April 29th, 2025|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Every family story does not read with the fairy tale ending of “they all lived happily ever after.” We can look at the Bible and see many relationships fractured by favoritism, strife, envy, and deception among those in the same bloodline. Though many millennia later, we see evidence of the same painful and traumatic experiences in the Bible populate our own timelines and family stories. Over time, living with these conditions can wear on a person’s soul and fray hope for something better or at least different. Unresolved pain, anger, and unforgiveness deposit themselves into the soil of our lives, turning the roots of our family tree bitter and bearing the fruit of resentment. Overcoming resentment is no easy feat. We cannot ignore infractions, errors, and missteps and expect to just get over what has happened that is part of our difficult family past or present. God does not expect us to place ourselves in a position where we remain objects of someone else’s evil intentions or actions. It grieves Him to see us endure forms of abuse, neglect, or harm, whether we are experiencing it for the first time or constantly reliving it through triggers or the hold that unforgiveness may have on our souls. Part of embracing His wisdom, love, and care is tending to our safety and our souls to heal from what would have otherwise destroyed us. Resentment in the Bible In Genesis, we gather a tale of two brothers. Cain resented Abel for his offering, though God commended the younger of Adam and Eve’s first two sons (Hebrews 11:4). God, in wisdom and love, counseled Cain, advising that his offering would be accepted if he would address the sin that crouched at his door. God knew that envy was waiting to devour Cain, but [...]

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Ways to Reduce Anxiety Surrounding Money

Ways to Reduce Anxiety Surrounding Money

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2025-04-29T06:36:59+00:00April 29th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Money is often a taboo topic, yet financial strain can trigger chronic anxiety in people. People suffering from anxiety linked to money are often embarrassed to admit it. They feel that admitting to a counselor that they struggle to pay their bills and put food on the table somehow makes them less worthy of mental health help. So, the cycle continues. Let’s normalize speaking freely about money issues and how they affect mental health, starting with ways to reduce anxiety surrounding money. Dealing with Anxiety Surrounding Money Anxiety can make it difficult to sleep at night, and if you struggle to keep up with the expenses, then you are familiar with those sleepless nights. Knowing it could be a debt collector, you may be well acquainted with panic attacks, heart palpitations, and trembling when the phone rings. If you are looking for ways to reduce anxiety over money, you have come to the right place. The following list delves into actions you can take today to gain control of your finances. Feeling in control, setting goals, and making headway in your finances will create a sense of accomplishment. You will have more confidence in yourself and trigger the brain’s reward center, lowering your stress level. Make budgeting your friend The first step to learning ways to reduce anxiety about money is to become aware of your monthly income and expenses. The next step is to budget your income, so you know exactly what you have to work with monthly. Dave Ramsey, the financial radio show host, recommends using a zero-based budget. To start, you list your income for the month and then assign money to each of your expenses down to the dollar. Always start with the basics, such as tithing, savings, mortgage or rent, utility bills, groceries, and [...]

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Bible Verses for Mourning: Finding Comfort in Difficult Times

Bible Verses for Mourning: Finding Comfort in Difficult Times

Kate Motaung2025-04-24T12:20:24+00:00April 24th, 2025|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

There are moments and seasons in life when it matters more than anything to be seen and heard. The things we think, feel, know, and experience matter and that affirmation counts at certain times more than others. When you go through loss and bereavement, it can be utterly devastating. It can unmoor you from everything that you know, and it makes a difference to know at that moment that someone knows, sees, and cares. We all process loss differently. Some people want others around them, others want to be alone with their thoughts and reach out for connection when needed. Still others want that one loved one with whom they feel safe, and they can be vulnerable. Grief does strange things to us, and how we respond isn’t predictable. The main thing is to find ways to deal with the grief, and not to bury it. One place to turn to for help in processing grief is Scripture. It deals with grief, often in its raw and unvarnished form, and it can help us to process our own grief as we see how other godly people made sense of what feels senseless. Comfort from Scripture During Mourning Often, when a person loses a loved one, they are said to be “in mourning” or “in a period of mourning”. This can make it sound as though there is a defined or limited time to mourn your loved one. In truth, grief remains with you for the rest of your life, and it’s mainly about finding ways to cope with it and do life without your loved one. The mourning may take a different shape, but grief remains a part of your life. Whether it is the loss of a loved one, a cherished pet, or even the end of a [...]

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