Dr. Ronald Jenkins

Marriage is a beautiful journey filled with joy, love, and growth, but it also comes with its share of challenges, especially managing household responsibilities. For newlyweds, disagreements over chores can quickly overshadow the excitement of starting their life together. What these couples often overlook is that their differing expectations are not just about dishes and dusting – they are rooted in the ways they were raised. Understanding how upbringing shapes our views on household roles and learning to adjust to these differences in our spouse are crucial steps toward building a harmonious marriage and finally tackling the “to-do list.” Katie and Carson: A Case Study in Marital Expectations Katie and Carson were a young couple who had been happily married for three months. They had moved into a cozy new apartment, sparsely furnished and filled with thrifted items and hand-me-downs. Because neither of them had ever lived alone, neither had learned how to efficiently maintain a home. Soon, the dirty dishes were piled up in the sink, and the trash cans overflowed. Their love nest had turned into a pigsty, and neither was willing to do the household chores. Katie came from a single-dad household where her father had done most of the housework. Carson grew up in a house that had more traditional gender roles, where his mother took care of all the household responsibilities while his dad supported the family financially. Katie and Carson had opposite viewpoints as to who should be taking care of the household chores. Since Carson worked a full-time job, he felt that Katie should take on most of the household chores. Katie felt that the household chores should be equally shared, even though she did not contribute financially to the household. The Impact of Upbringing on Marriage Expectations The way we are raised [...]

Is there anything simpler, and at the same time possibly more complicated than two people talking? Two people communicating with one another is the basis of a relationship, whether they are using their mouths or hands to express their meaning. The way the Lord designed us, we aren’t a race of mind readers. This necessitates finding ways to express our fears, hopes, needs, and expectations. We must improve communication – it is a vital skill to master in all areas of life. If you’re in a relationship with someone, knowing how to communicate your meaning to them is a boon for that relationship. You can avoid unnecessary misunderstandings, know how best to love your beloved, and quickly get to the heart of disagreements if your communication skills are on point. We all could use some brushing up and learning a few tips to help improve communication in our relationships. Obstacles to Good Communication It’s important to say from the start that people aren’t intentionally bad communicators. No one wants to be misunderstood and to cause avoidable friction in their relationships. No one wants to be unhappy or to make the people in their lives unhappy because of their words. Often, these things happen quite contrary to our desires. There are some obstacles to good communication that we may need greater awareness of. Some things that can stand in the way of good communication include unaddressed feelings like hurt, fear, or anger. These can prevent honest and open communication, leading instead to defensiveness, making assumptions about the other person and their state of mind, and leaning into our biases and prejudices. However, making assumptions and being biased can’t always be blamed on unaddressed feelings. Apart from these internal challenges, good communication can also be hindered by external factors. These include [...]