Kate Motaung, Rockwall Christian Counseling

About Kate Motaung

Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging. Kate is also the host of Five Minute Friday, an online writing community that equips and encourages Christian writers, and the owner of Refine Services, a company that offers editing services. She and her South African husband have three young adult children and currently live in West Michigan. Find Kate’s books at katemotaung.com/books.

Partnering with Peace: ABC’s of Soul Care

Partnering with Peace: ABC’s of Soul Care

Kate Motaung2024-11-30T06:52:33+00:00November 29th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Peace, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

When we experience difficulty in our lives, it may be especially challenging to see the goodness of God. We may not realize the dizzying pace of our own lives until physical or mental health matters arrest us, forcing us to stop and take inventory of our lives. Even when we realize that the pace of our thoughts and activity is not sustainable, we often barrel through, spinning our souls in anxiety. Instead of providing respite, our attempts to hold everything together, including ourselves, only serve to reinforce the work of fear and stress in our lives. We forfeit the peace Jesus intended for us to have. Instead of turning our hearts to the Lord, for direction and clarity, we bow ourselves to people, pursuits, and possessions instead of the God who created us to worship Him. When we do, we abandon our esteemed place of favor and elevated position of faith. We wear ourselves out when the Savior has only invited us to rest. This is precisely what the enemy wants. If he cannot defeat us on one front, he will attempt to exhaust and frustrate us. When our focus gets fuzzy and our hearts get weary, we don’t war with the same intensity as when our vision is clear. Beyond what we see and feel, the Truth remains. We can actively remind ourselves of what God’s Word says. Of course, the voices of this world, the enemy, and even our own psyche may seek to bully us into believing and behaving in ways that do not reflect the soul wealth, wisdom, and rest that Christ offers. However, we always have the invitation, choice, and power to reframe our thoughts and actions to align with what is always true, no matter how contested. Sometimes, we need a little encouragement and [...]

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How to Quit Feeling Guilty About Failing

How to Quit Feeling Guilty About Failing

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T10:45:49+00:00October 30th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development|

I now stop feeling guilty. I let myself out of that prison. – Louise Hay We have all experienced feeling guilty. You know, that familiar sinking feeling we have when we have failed to achieve something or when we feel like we have let someone down. Failing at something we have invested our time, energy, or money in is painful and can be a source of guilt if we do not understand why we fail or how to react. In this article, we will talk more about this overwhelmingly powerful emotion, how it affects your mental health, and what we can do to overcome it appropriately. Is feeling guilty ever good for us? It’s normal to regret. In fact, the feeling of contriteness is a necessary emotion and is thought to be the one emotion that sets us humans apart from the rest of the animal kingdom. If we could not feel remorse at all, we would be as dangerous and out of control as any other wild animal in the jungle. Feeling guilty can be a good thing in human society because: It causes us to regulate our behavior and helps us to have remorse and take responsibility for our actions. It keeps us in line with what is morally acceptable to create harmony with others, which makes us improve our behavior. It indicates that what we are working on is important to us. It helps us recognize when we have wronged someone else and encourages us to make amends in our relationships. That said, there is a darker and more harmful side to guilt that most of us may not even be aware of. If left unchecked, guilt can become excessive, all-consuming, and irrational and lead to other debilitating anxiety disorders. Feeling guilty can cause our minds [...]

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7 Examples of Gaslighting

7 Examples of Gaslighting

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T10:49:09+00:00October 23rd, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Over the last few years, the term gaslighting has become a part of the common vernacular, with most people vaguely aware that it refers to abusive behavior of some kind. The fact is that it is a specific type of emotional manipulation done by someone wanting to avoid being held accountable for their actions. When you understand how people use it, the effectiveness of gaslighting behavior lessens, and you can confront the real issues in the relationship. What is Gaslighting? The term first appeared in a stage play called “Gas Light,” in which a wife notices minute details around her house that point to her husband having an affair. Specifically, she notices that each morning the gas lights, which she turned off before bed each night, are often on in the morning before her husband wakes up. She confronts him with this and accuses him of sneaking out each night while she sleeps, but he repeatedly turns the accusations back on her, questioning her sanity and perception. She begins thinking that she imagined seeing things and feels cruel for having accused her husband of infidelity. Meanwhile, he successfully evades accountability and continues his unfaithfulness, with the only consequence being his wife’s declining mental and emotional health. At its core, gaslighting is a combination of emotional manipulation and psychological control that erodes a person’s self-esteem and destabilizes their mental health. It is almost exclusively spoken about in the context of romantic relationships, but it is a tactic used by people in any relationship that has a power dynamic. Parents, bosses, co-workers, politicians, and leaders in various fields might gaslight those in their sphere of influence to get their way. The person doing the gaslighting wants to retain their power in the relationship so that they can avoid accountability for toxic [...]

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Improving Communication in Complicated Relationships

Improving Communication in Complicated Relationships

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T10:46:09+00:00September 18th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Complicated relationships are a common part of human experience and may arise in any area of our lives. A mother dies and her siblings don’t offer any support to her children. Her kids feel betrayed but are obligated to deal with the aloof or hostile extended family while grieving. Divorced parents constantly fight over parenting choices but are forced to communicate because they are bound together by their shared children. High school friends continue to be in each other’s lives even though one of them realizes that the other is toxic, yet they are tied to each other due to multiple mutual friends. These are just a few examples of a complicated relationship, but there are many others such as business partners and co-workers, neighbors, and church-related relationships. You might think that if a relationship becomes complicated, you could just walk away. But there are many instances when walking away isn’t so simple. If you are co-parenting after a complicated divorce, are in business with a family member, or have a long and intertwined relationship with someone, it might not be easy to walk away, even if it gets toxic and complicated. Tips for navigating complicated relationships Navigating complicated relationships when getting out of them isn’t immediately feasible and requires a thoughtful and strategic approach. Here are some ideas to help you through the most complicated relationships in your life with grace. Establish clear boundaries Define and communicate your boundaries clearly and assertively. Boundaries help to manage expectations and protect your emotional well-being. They prevent you from becoming a victim and help you recognize when your rights are violated or ignored. Be consistent in enforcing the boundaries to maintain control and self-respect within the relationship. Boundaries also give the other party a roadmap for interacting with you. How often [...]

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Bible Verses about Anger: Dealing with Anger the Godly Way

Bible Verses about Anger: Dealing with Anger the Godly Way

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T10:49:26+00:00August 20th, 2024|Anger Issues, Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Anger is a complex human emotion. It is as normal as laughing or crying, yet its effects, although potentially beneficial, can be quite damaging. Anger normally arises from provocation, frustrations, and other triggers like stress, mental health issues, or environmental influences. When anger is expressed constructively and with control, solutions to conflicts can be found, wrongs can be made right, and healthy boundaries set. On the other hand, uncontrolled anger may lead to negative outcomes such as depression, anxiety, severed relationships, extreme violence, and harmful behavior. People express their anger in varying degrees, some to the point of physically harming others or cutting ties with loved ones. Is anger ever justified? Before we explore ways of dealing with anger, let us first consider if it is even acceptable for us as Christians to be angry. In the book of John (2:13-17), we witness Jesus Christ, the epitome of love, compassion, patience, and grace, getting extremely angry because the money changers and merchants had turned the temple courts into a marketplace. In His anger, the Bible says Jesus overturned tables and chased the transgressors from the temples because they had brought chaos into the house of God. In Nehemiah 5:6, we hear Nehemiah, another great biblical figure, admitting to being “very angry” when he learned of the exploitation and oppression of the poor. Some of the poor people were even forced by their circumstances to sell their children to pay exorbitant taxes. The rest of the book shows how Nehemiah proceeded to boldly confront the nobles and the officials. He rebuked them for the oppression of the poor Jews and demanded that they put an end to it. They listened to Nehemiah and agreed to put an end to the oppressive practices. Nehemiah’s anger was the much-needed catalyst that helped [...]

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Adventures in Parenting: Addressing Resentment, Burnout, and the Shame of Parenting Fatigue

Adventures in Parenting: Addressing Resentment, Burnout, and the Shame of Parenting Fatigue

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T10:46:27+00:00August 16th, 2024|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Parenting is one job where we are constantly “on.” Being a mom or dad can feel like a thankless endeavor. Unlike paid employment, it doesn’t build in its own breaks or allow us to renegotiate our compensation. While there are many sweet and tender moments, child rearing is sometimes saturated with the mundane. In some seasons, the hum of laundry, dishes, and the rhythms of running a household drone on while our own resolve fades in weariness and parenting fatigue. In other times, the whirlwind of parent and kid activity escalates as we juggle chores, homework, careers, and the stressors associated with raising a family in a turbulent world. We can become inundated with pressure to get ahead of the frenetic pace, then ashamed that we feel resentful of the families we love. Some days we may be uncertain if tantrums, whether our own or that of our kids, are steamrolling us over the edge of grace. As God-appointed leaders in our homes, we must be intentional to build respite into our rhythms to preserve our peace and well-being. Otherwise, we combust and burn out, bringing catastrophe to our families and ourselves. Parenting fatigue is real. Sometimes, the seasons we face squeeze the essence of every spiritual fruit, testing patience and stretching faith beyond what we feel is our capacity. The strain of life and the chaos of bursting schedules wear us out, dulling the edge of our effectiveness. When mental states fray and emotions escalate, it is difficult for us to be present with ourselves, let alone fully available to the children we love. In defiance, stress levels shriek, releasing a cry for help that shows up in us and our kids through potentially destructive behaviors, if left unchecked. While God created us to have full lives and [...]

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Building Self-Esteem Through Goal Setting

Building Self-Esteem Through Goal Setting

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T10:49:44+00:00July 19th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Have you ever noticed that when your self-esteem is low, so is your motivation? Making plans is challenging when you lack confidence. You may not want to go out publicly or feel despair and shame. Your self-esteem can affect every aspect of your life. Building self-esteem is possible through the power of goal setting. But what exactly is self-esteem? What is self-esteem? Self-esteem is how you perceive yourself. We often base our beliefs about ourselves on past performances or experiences or because of what someone has said about us. Rarely, do we see ourselves the way God sees us, as capable, inspiring, and loved. Whether you have high or low self-esteem is based on three factors from Maslow’s Hierarchy: If your physiological needs are met, like water, food, and clothing. If you feel safe and secure, such as shelter and employment. If you feel loved and accepted, you have a sense of belonging. These factors are known as levels in Maslow’s hierarchy, which is depicted as a pyramid with basic needs as the largest level across the bottom. After meeting these three levels, you can begin building self-esteem and confidence through achievements and recognition. Self-esteem includes respect, resiliency, courage, and confidence. It is how you see yourself. Why is building self-esteem critical? To reach a level of self-actualization, you need to raise your self-esteem. Your current level of self-esteem also predicts how well you will do in a career, academics, and relationships. It can also predict whether you are more likely to have issues in those areas or trouble with the law. Low self-esteem can also lead to risky behaviors like drinking too much alcohol, drug abuse, and eating disorders. You will never reach your full potential if you struggle with self-esteem (or any basic levels). Now is the [...]

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Seeking Online Counseling: Common Reasons for Remote Therapy

Seeking Online Counseling: Common Reasons for Remote Therapy

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T10:46:42+00:00July 12th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Women’s Issues|

Have you ever wondered if there was a way to find reputable Christian online counseling? You want to get help, but you are just not sure you want to go in person. Maybe you are unable to physically leave your house for medical reasons and you need to talk to a counselor. There are ways you can find the best online therapy to fit your needs. Common reasons for online therapy Some people are just not comfortable in public They could be suffering from social anxiety and getting out of the house is difficult for them. Whatever the reason, some people choose to access therapy online. It is more convenient When you are in the middle of your work day and you want to save driving time, you may consider online therapy. From a site or app, you can log in, verify your counselor, and have a session in the amount of time it would take you to drive to their location. Online is more comfortable When it comes to technology, society has grown comfortable with more interaction online. Email and webinars are everyday terms in today’s mainstream workplace. That means that more people are becoming more relaxed when it comes to talking to a counselor via video. Things to look for regarding online counseling As you begin your search for an online counselor, you want to be sure you are going to find one that is reputable. Today, there are so many scams that could cause you a windfall of financial problems. It is wise to research any counselor that you are thinking about inviting into your private life. Licensed by the state The most important thing you should consider when you are seeking online counseling is to be sure the counselor is licensed. The counselor should be [...]

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Forgiveness in the Bible and What it Means for You

Forgiveness in the Bible and What it Means for You

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T10:47:03+00:00June 7th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

Forgiveness is one of the most well-known yet complex topics in Scripture. The theme of forgiveness is at the center of the gospel, redemption, the Old Testament covenants, and Jesus’ death on the cross. Forgiveness from God to humans is part of it, and forgiveness from one human to another is the other part. Some of the most common questions asked about forgiveness in the Bible include, “What does forgiveness mean?” “How do I forgive someone who harmed me?” and, “What does the Bible say about forgiveness?” If you want to learn more about forgiveness in the Bible, keep reading for forgiveness Bible verses and what they mean in context. Individual Christian counseling can help you address the concept of forgiveness in your own life and help you apply Scripture and what it says about forgiveness, reconciliation, grace, and healing. Forgiveness in the Old Testament Let’s take a look at some references to the concept of forgiveness in the Old Testament before Jesus was born. In accordance with your great love, forgive the sin of these people, just as you have pardoned them from the time they left Egypt until now.” The Lord replied, “I have forgiven them, as you asked. – Numbers 14:19-21, NIV In this chapter, Moses is praying for the Lord’s forgiveness after the people of Israel rebelled against God in the desert. God immediately grants his prayer and forgives His people’s rebellion, sparing them from death. But there are still consequences for their sin because that generation would no longer be able to live in the Promised Land; it would be given to the next generation. In this passage, we can see that sometimes, forgiveness and consequences go hand in hand. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. [...]

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What It Feels Like to Have Postpartum Blues

What It Feels Like to Have Postpartum Blues

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T10:47:18+00:00May 13th, 2024|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Women’s Issues|

As complex, interesting, frustrating, talented, and everything in between as we may be, there is one thing all people have in common, and that’s the fact that we were all born of a woman and are all a miracle given to the world by God. The psalmist loudly proclaims: For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. – Psalms 139:13-14, NIV There is likely no greater joy than the creation of a new life. It is something joyful, marvelous, and mysterious even though we know so much about how human beings are conceived and developed in utero. Though the process of carrying and giving birth to a child is often anxiety-inducing, not to mention painful, there is joy in the aftermath. Understanding postpartum blues Welcoming a child into the world is meant to be a joyful occasion – after all, a new human being is alive and among us. However, while that may be the experience of the majority, it’s not that way for everyone. Postpartum blues, which is another way of talking about the “baby blues” is a common problem that affects a lot of women. Baby blues affect anywhere between 50% and 75% of women after delivery, and they usually begin within the first 2-3 days after delivery and may last for up to two weeks. There are some similarities between the baby blues and postpartum depression; however, the symptoms of baby blues last about two weeks and are less intense than those of postpartum depression. Typically, the symptoms of baby blues will disappear on their own without treatment. With postpartum depression, the symptoms last weeks or months, and the symptoms are [...]

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Kate Motaung

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