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What is Infidelity? The Nature and Impact

What is Infidelity? The Nature and Impact

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:53:23+00:00November 13th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The best of relationships isn’t perfect. Even happy couples have their fair share of squabbles, miscommunication, or points of frustration. Of the many challenges to a relationship that a couple can encounter, infidelity is likely one of the more distressing. According to recent statistics, infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce. Around 60% of couples cite a partner’s unfaithfulness as a reason their marriage ended. Getting a handle on what infidelity is and why it affects a marriage so deeply will help couples navigate these tricky waters if they ever find themselves there. Marriage has boundaries. In our culture, relationships take a variety of shapes and are meant to meet different needs. Marriage is, at least from a Christian perspective, a monogamous relationship that brings a man and a woman into a lifelong commitment. This commitment and mutual love are a mirror of the love and respect shared between Jesus Christ and the Church. Marital faithfulness is a reminder and picture of the exclusive relationship Jesus has with His people (Ephesians 5:22-33). The reality of this is why, whenever God’s people decide to worship anything other than God, it is called spiritual adultery (1 John 2:15-17; James 4:4-5; Jeremiah 3:20). Our marriages give us a reference point and language for understanding what is happening when we worship something that isn’t the Creator. It marks the marriage relationship itself as a distinct relationship that’s meant to be exclusive. In this situation, when one party fails to fulfill the obligation of exclusivity, trust can be lost, and the marriage may be irretrievably broken. Even for relationships that don’t fit the pattern of Christian marriage, the relationship has some sort of boundary whose transgression implies infidelity. There is an innate sense that certain relationships require exclusivity of some kind to [...]

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Do Christian Online Counseling Services Work

Do Christian Online Counseling Services Work

Melissa Plantz2024-09-27T10:38:06+00:00August 16th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Online counseling or traditional face-to-face counseling? How do you choose? Are online counseling services effective? Research shows that people respond to virtual counseling well and are more likely to adhere to attendance. In addition, being able to log on with a counselor on their schedule makes virtual counseling suitable for today’s busy Americans. Why people choose online counseling services. Our world is fast and busy. We may rise at 4:00 a.m. and fight sleep past midnight trying to do one more thing. People choose online counseling services for convenience. We already tote around our phones for everything, including checking emails, texts, social media, news, and calls. Online counseling services through a cell, tablet, or laptop are not a stretch of the imagination. With the virtual option, you have a counselor right in your pocket. Researchers are finding that online counseling is just as effective as in-person counseling. However, the effects of face-to-face interaction may last longer and have a more positive outcome. If you have a severe mental condition, you may need in-person counseling until your condition is under control. Many people try a hybrid approach. For example, a client may meet with their counselor once or twice monthly for a face-to-face session so that the counselor can gauge the client’s behavioral cues. The counselor may then arrange for the client to meet with them virtually once a week as a check-in session. The client might also email or text for extra support when needed. Forms of therapy. Your counselor will assess your needs and determine the best course of action to help you heal or work through an issue. Psychotherapy (talk therapy) is still the most common form of treatment. The counselor helps you get to the root of your negative thoughts, emotions, or behavior. They may suggest [...]

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Treatment for Emotional Eating: Options to Try

Treatment for Emotional Eating: Options to Try

Melissa Plantz2024-09-27T10:36:57+00:00June 27th, 2023|Eating Disorders, Featured, Individual Counseling, Weight Loss, Women’s Issues|

Emotional eating is an issue for many people as stress is a major factor. We turn to sweet and salty snacks to get through stressful events or for comfort after a long day. Have you ever found yourself eating when you are not hungry? Instead, a dreaded phone call, toxic relationship, work burnout, or deadline causes us to seek the serotonin rush of comfort food. There are tasks and lifestyle changes you can implement to stop emotional eating. Tips to stop emotional eating If you find yourself in a pattern of emotional eating at least twice a week for six months or more, you may need professional guidance to help you overcome the urges and behavioral pattern. Counseling can help you learn how to manage your stress more effectively. For example, if your emotional eating is rooted in anger, your counselor may suggest anger management and conflict resolution methods. Emotional eating typically follows a trigger, not just a habit. The trigger may be a negative thought or emotion. When you can identify those thoughts and emotions that send you into a tailspin, you are more likely to overcome emotional eating by reframing those into positive beliefs and feelings and changing your behavior. Hit pause. When you feel the overwhelming urge to turn to food, ask yourself why. Take a moment to pause and reflect on what is driving your behavior. What thoughts are going through your mind? Is it a limiting belief? For example, if you have a deadline looming, are you telling yourself that you can never meet it, so why try? Do you say negative things about yourself? Negative thoughts and limiting beliefs can leave you anxious and depressed, and these emotions are triggers for emotional eating. Journal. Changing your thoughts, beliefs, and emotions may take work [...]

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10 Common Causes of Depression in Women

10 Common Causes of Depression in Women

Melissa Plantz2024-09-27T10:35:34+00:00May 5th, 2023|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Women’s Issues|

An estimated twelve million women suffer from depression in the United States annually. Although most patients range from ages twenty-five to forty-four, women going through the menopausal transition in their fifties can also develop depression due to decreased hormones. The causes of depression in women are numerous, but one thing is clear: depression should be treated as soon as possible. Causes of depression in women Women, including teenage girls between the ages of fourteen and eighteen, suffer from depression more than males the same age. In people aged twenty-five to forty-four, women develop depression at a rate of 2:1 more than men. In addition, fluctuating hormones contribute to many cases of depression in the U.S. each year, including Postpartum Depression, Premenstrual Dysphoric Depression, and depression brought on by menopause. But the causes of depression don’t stop at hormones. Factors like environment, family history, and life events play a role. When these factors compound, your likelihood of developing depression increases. Once you know what to expect, you can consult your physician about your increased risk. The following is a list of common causes of depression in women. Hormonal issues. Hormonal changes, such as too much or too little estrogen or progesterone, can increase your risk for depression. This is due to these hormones helping to regulate serotonin and other neurotransmitters that leave you feeling happy. Often the causes of depression can be traced to a hormonal imbalance. First, your physician can run bloodwork to determine if there is a hormone issue. Then, the doctor may prescribe hormonal supplementation if needed. Changes in hormones can also create other emotional problems that may require counseling. Grief. Grief is a process, a journey through stages that include denial (shock), anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. However, grief is rarely linear. You can experience the [...]

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Bible Verses About Trusting God

Bible Verses About Trusting God

Jennifer Kooshian2024-10-23T12:39:39+00:00April 29th, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

A huge part of what it means to be a grown-up is to know how to stand on your own two feet. As you mature you ought to be able to know how to pay your bills, earn an income, build healthy relationships, and learn how to effectively handle conflicts in relationships, trusting God to mature you as you grow in sanctification. A deepening executive function, meaning the ability to make plans and then take steps to execute those plans to achieve your goals, ought to come with growing up. While it’s important to avoid codependence, healthy independence does not mean that you don’t or cannot rely on others in life. It’s impossible to go through life without some measure of dependence on others. Our lives are so interwoven with others’ lives that we cannot live an isolated existence, and it’s not healthy to do so. Healthy independence allows you to make your own decisions, but to seek wisdom from others because you understand your limits. This matters all the more when it comes to God and how we live our lives. We cannot flourish without trusting others. Being in loving relationships with others means entrusting ourselves to them. You can’t cultivate intimacy without being vulnerable, and you can’t be vulnerable without trusting the other person with yourself. Our relationships and lives cannot thrive without trust, but the key is whom you trust. Some people break our trust, and that can make us bitter and unwilling to trust again. The one who deserves our wholehearted trust is God. God is trustworthy, but it doesn’t come easy for many people to trust Him. Disappointment and hurt can lead a person to distrust God. It is important to remember that no matter how we feel, God always keeps His word. God [...]

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The Basic Effects of Trauma

The Basic Effects of Trauma

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:53:55+00:00March 23rd, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

This article is an overview of how trauma is understood and how it may affect your mental health. It discusses the effects of trauma, lists some treatment options and discusses how to remove barriers that prevent you from securing the correct type of support. This article is also relevant to readers who want to be a better support to those who have undergone trauma. It will be useful to start with the question of the basic effects of trauma. After all, it seems that many of us are either in one of three life stages when it comes to life’s difficulties: we are either entering a tough time, in the middle of one or coming out of one. Now, as you can expect, trauma has a different impact on each person. This includes the ways our bodies respond to danger, the impact that trauma often has on mental health, the link between trauma and physical health problems, and other factors. There are quite broad touch points on trauma, so it is likely that you will have experienced or witnessed in others some of the impacts which appear in the article, and quite likely some others that are not mentioned. The ways our bodies respond to danger. Cortisol and adrenaline are both hormones that our bodies instinctively release when we are feeling stressed or threatened. Trauma is an involuntary and natural response by our bodies to help us prepare to respond to danger. These hormones will affect different people in different ways. Experts have coined these reactions in the following ways: fawn, fight, flight, flop, and freeze. Fawn – attempts to placate the one who is harming you. Fight – being belligerent, struggling, or dissenting. Flight – getting away from the danger and threat of trauma. Flop – simply obeying [...]

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11 Common Signs of Early Onset Dementia

11 Common Signs of Early Onset Dementia

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:54:07+00:00January 26th, 2023|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Early onset dementia may be a term that you have heard of but do not know exactly what it means. Simply put, it describes a mix of symptoms affecting a person’s mental abilities such as learning, thinking, reasoning, remembering, problem-solving, decision-making, and paying attention. While dementia normally occurs in older people, when the nerve cells in a person’s brain stop working, it is not a foregone conclusion that older people will develop dementia. Of course, aging can cause a person’s brain to decline, but this deterioration happens quicker in those suffering from dementia. There are various types of dementia, with the most common being Alzheimer’s disease. Others include: Vascular disorders affecting the circulation of blood around the body. Lewy body dementia which leads to a decline in reasoning, thinking, and independence Frontotemporal dementia, a fairly uncommon type of dementia that affects the front and sides of the brain. It causes problems with behavior and language so people suffering from it may experience personality changes, changes in emotional reactions, having trouble planning as well as speaking and understanding sentences. Alzheimer’s disease causes a person to lose their memory, impedes their speech, and accentuates impulsive behavior. In the vast majority of cases, Alzheimer’s gets worse over time, with some of the signs being forgetfulness; and difficulty speaking, making decisions, and completing tasks. It can also bring on personality changes. Signs of early onset dementia There are a series of red flags which if people experience them earlier than usual are understood to be typical signs of dementia. When someone receives a diagnosis confirming dementia it is once they usually experience two or more of the symptoms described below at a level of intensity severe enough for it to interfere with their daily lives. Signs of early-onset dementia include: Losing memory. A common [...]

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How to Improve Your Listening Skills in Marriage

How to Improve Your Listening Skills in Marriage

Kate Motaung2025-01-16T13:59:26+00:00January 3rd, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

To improve listening skills in your marriage, you need to understand the reasons why you can miss significant details in what your partner is saying, even though you believe that you are listening. Why do misunderstandings happen? Misunderstandings can happen for a variety of reasons. Here are a few common problems that lead to misunderstandings in marriage. You are preoccupied, exhausted, or both: Imagine you are thinking about a problem you had at work while the children are screaming and the television is blasting at full volume. Now your partner has started talking to you about how they expect company later in the evening. You give a satisfied nod and say okay, but were you paying attention to what was being said? Likely not. You make assumptions: A damaging attempt at mind reading, assumptions can cause a lot of trouble in a relationship. A common way this occurs is when you think that there is a secret meaning to the words that your spouse has said. In reality, you may be reading too much into the situation. Ever-shortening attention spans: A measly eight seconds is considered to be the average attention span of a human being. That means you can lose focus quickly when your spouse is talking to you, often without even realizing it. There are, however, ways to get better at this and become a good listener when you are speaking with the important people in your life, particularly your partner. Sometimes it’s difficult to listen to what each other has to say. There are so many demands that are placed on us by life, and it always seems as though a million things are competing for our attention, such as our jobs, our hobbies, our friends, and our children. Because of this, you and the [...]

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Practical Ways to Improve Your Mental Wellness

Practical Ways to Improve Your Mental Wellness

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:54:31+00:00January 3rd, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

You may hear a lot about mental wellness these days. Things like self-care or self-love are often describing things you can do to take care of yourself, but it’s easy for these ideas to get lost in the busyness of life. This can leave you feeling like you’ve dropped the ball on yet another thing in your life, which only perpetuates the problem. Instead of focusing on the ideas of self-care, consider how you can make simple changes that promote mental wellness in your life. These changes don’t need to be drastic. It is often better when they are small things that you can build upon over time. This sets you up for success far better than making big changes all at once. Small changes combined with your faith will help you intentionally work toward improving your mental health and well-being. What is mental wellness? There is a lot of good, helpful information about mental health in the world today. With increasing awareness, it is becoming mainstream to consider mental health as an important part of a person’s overall well-being. Despite the increased information, there are a lot of terms used interchangeably that have different meanings. Mental health, mental illness, and mental wellness are perfect examples. According to the American Psychiatry Association, mental health focuses on how you function in your daily life, while mental illness is caused by disorders that affect you in areas like thinking, emotions, and behavior. While it can be connected to mental illness, mental wellness is different. According to the Global Wellness Institute, “Mental wellness is an internal resource that helps us think, feel, connect, and function; it is an active process that helps us to build resilience, grow, and flourish.” Simply put, mental wellness focuses on the things you can do to promote [...]

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3 Signs of Anger Issues

3 Signs of Anger Issues

Brooke Turbyfill2024-09-27T10:37:19+00:00January 3rd, 2023|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Occasional irritation or frustration – even anger over a relationship issue from time to time – is probably normal, but how do you know whether what you are experiencing anger issues? Anger issues can be expressed in three ways: Outwardly: expressions of anger directed toward others. Examples of outward anger include yelling, smashing objects, or slamming doors. Inwardly: expressions of anger usually directed toward oneself. Examples include berating yourself and self-harm. Indirectly: passive expressions of anger. Examples of indirect expressions include sulking, sarcasm, or being silent to show your anger. Anger issues may be very tough to distinguish from just generally feeling angry. While it may be normal, anger, like any other emotion, may be sinful or righteous, depending on what has motivated it, its appropriateness to the situation, or its expression (to give a few examples). Also, it is well to remember that no emotion, no matter how good, is ever unstained by our sin. However, when anger begins to feel like it’s your primary characteristic or disrupts work or relationships, this may signal anger issues. To know if you are dealing with something more than intermittent frustration or anger, it’s important to look at four things: how frequently you get angry, what causes your anger, how you respond to anger, and how anger impacts your thought processes. How frequently do you get angry? There is no fixed rule on the number of times you’re allowed to be angry, but understanding how anger can be provoked is important. Knowing what anger looks like may reveal that you’re angrier more often than you thought. You might be angry more often than you realize if you are frequently irritable, frustrated, or internally restless. The other way to know if you are angry more often than not is to look at [...]

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