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Coping with Divorce with the Help of Christian Counseling

Coping with Divorce with the Help of Christian Counseling

Maria Yanez, Kate Motaung2025-10-16T05:56:02+00:00October 16th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Few people say “I do” with the idea that it is a temporary commitment. Our world does a great job of selling us a highly romanticized view of love and marriage, but not often do we see the more challenging reality of what marriage entails, leaving many unprepared for this lifelong commitment. In his book, Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas points to this reality, stating, “...marriage reminds us of the daily reality of living as sinful human beings in a radically broken world. We aspire after love but far too often descend into hate and apathy.” And unfortunately, many madly in love end in divorce. Divorce is particularly hated among Christian crowds who are passionately against the idea of breaking a commitment, especially one before God and one that has been consummated. Despite all the sticky entanglements involved, people are still coping with divorce. Or in some cases, not coping well with it. It’s ideal and biblical to remain married. The commitment of marriage is a sacred, enduring bond between two people designed to reflect God’s love and covenant with His people. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. – Ephesians 5:25 In the best circumstances, marriage is a beautiful union, meant to last a lifetime, just like you vowed on that special day. The Bible speaks clearly to the importance of faithfulness, love, and perseverance in marriage. It instructs husbands and wives to support, honor, and cherish each other through all circumstances (even in-laws, late-night feedings, and a stack of bills). Jesus Himself reminds us in Matthew 19:6 that “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” That said, the road to a successful, lifelong marriage is not always smooth. You’re human, and so is your spouse (you probably already [...]

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Why Unconventional Trauma Responses Are Not Silly

Why Unconventional Trauma Responses Are Not Silly

Amanda Osowski, Kate Motaung2025-10-11T06:47:43+00:00October 13th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Trauma responses that are a little outside of the “norm” often get made fun of or dismissed. What might feel silly to someone else might be your body remembering how it had to survive in a tense or dangerous situation. People might brush off your unusual actions with a roll of their eyes or even a chuckle, but those quirky little things you do might be more than just unique personality traits. They might be signs that you have unresolved trauma in your life and that your body is fighting desperately to protect you from perceived threats. Our bodies respond to trauma in different ways that show up uniquely to us. Maybe your hands sweat every time you hear your phone ding with a notification. While that might seem odd and a gross overreaction to those around you, it might be a learned response because your boss only texts when they are angry. Your friends might giggle a little when you get visibly angry at them for using your full name, but to you, it serves as a reminder of parents who spewed it out just before a verbal storm. The World’s View on “Silly” Trauma Responses The people around you might be critical or cruel about behavior they consider to be odd or different. Society as a whole can be harsh to those who suffer from trauma they do not understand and in ways they do not view as normal. If you did not grow up in a war zone or with obvious signs of abuse, people tend to assume you should be just fine to act in a way that fits their definition of normal. But what if you suffered years of emotional neglect, chronic bullying, or having to be the adult kid taking care of younger siblings? [...]

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How We Get Stuck in Trauma

How We Get Stuck in Trauma

Joel Thomas, Kate Motaung2025-10-10T06:26:29+00:00October 10th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

There comes a time in all of our lives when we must face the worst experience we could imagine. It might be anything from the death of a loved one to a chronic illness diagnosis, sudden poverty, or a relationship that turns toxic. Sometimes these things happen when we are too young to understand them, but they affect our lives for decades, nevertheless. Sometimes it feels like no matter what we do, we can’t get past a certain experience. It’s as if our lives took a screenshot of the traumatic moment, and now that picture is forever framed as a reminder of what we went through. Every time we look at it, we feel uncomfortable, but we don’t know what to do with those feelings. What does it mean to be stuck in trauma, and how can we get unstuck? The Great Escape from Trauma For many people, the most natural way of dealing with trauma is to intellectualize it. Whenever they encounter trauma, in whatever form it takes, they naturally respond by trying to think through it. They might become silent, withdrawn, and stoic, endlessly replaying events in their mind while trying to figure out how it could have gone differently. Alternatively, they might find a person with whom they talk about the life-altering events, only to go round in circles without ever finding a way past the trauma. Their attempts to cope with or process trauma are ineffective because we can’t think our way out of trauma. We must feel our way out of it, as uncomfortable as it is. The reason we find comfort in intellectualizing trauma and our feelings is that it distances us from the events. For example, a man who is navigating a messy divorce might talk to his therapist about the details [...]

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Signs of Marital Problems and How to Address Them

Signs of Marital Problems and How to Address Them

Joseph Bennett, Kate Motaung2025-10-09T06:00:49+00:00October 9th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There is a story of a man named Hiroo Onoda, a Japanese second lieutenant in the Imperial Japanese Army, who didn’t know that World War 2 was over. For almost three decades after the war ended, Onoda, who was stationed on Lubang Island in the Philippines, remained in his post, convinced that the war was still ongoing. He only left the island in March 1974 when his former commanding officer was flown in to facilitate Onoda’s surrender. One of the many remarkable things about this story is how the world was changing rapidly around Onoda, but he didn’t have a clue about it. Seismic changes can occur in one’s life, and it’s not always obvious to you, even though other people around you can see what’s happening. This can occur in marriage; you may have problems, but end up missing the signs that things aren’t as they should be. Different Types of Marital Problems Marital problems take various forms, and they can flow from different aspects of a relationship. Some of the more common types of marital problems that couples encounter include communication issues, a lack of intimacy or emotional disconnection, unresolved conflicts that lead to resentment and anger, financial issues, and unequal distribution of responsibilities and household chores. Marriages may also face trust issues and difficulty trusting one another due to past behaviors such as infidelity. There may also be personal differences, conflicting values, interests, or lifestyle choices that cause friction between the spouses. Lastly, there may also be unaddressed mental health issues that may be affecting the relationship and the dynamics between the couple. While these and other kinds of issues may be present in a relationship, the couple may not see these issues for what they are. That happens for a variety of reasons. How and [...]

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ADHD and Hobbies: Why It Can Be a Struggle to Enjoy Things

ADHD and Hobbies: Why It Can Be a Struggle to Enjoy Things

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2025-10-09T05:19:46+00:00October 9th, 2025|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling|

When you have ADHD, it can often feel like every aspect of life is that much more complicated. By now, it might be fairly obvious as to why we struggle in professional environments, where everything is geared toward neurotypical people. However, many people with ADHD struggle at home and in their free time, too. You might imagine that household tasks and hobbies are uncomplicated and should be enjoyable, and they can be. It is also true, though, that those with ADHD struggle with hobbies, chores, and simple tasks. Unique Struggles Many people get diagnosed with ADHD later in life, meaning that for the majority of their lives, they feel different from everyone else. Most of us have been taught that there is one way of doing things, whether it be learning, working, or enjoying life. This prescribed path has been laid for us since childhood. Unfortunately, it was constructed by neurotypical people for neurotypical people. It is their world. We are simply living in it, all the while feeling like aliens who don’t quite belong. If we are to be successful, happy, and at ease in this world, we will have to learn more about ourselves and our unique struggles. No two people with ADHD are identical. However, there are certain traits and features of neurodiversity that most people with ADHD face. One of the most frustrating aspects of ADHD is that we often struggle to enjoy simple things. Hobbies are important for neurodiverse people because so much of life is a challenge for us. It is healthy and necessary for us to find a pleasant outlet. When it comes to unwinding and enjoying something simple, we might find that the thing that once brought us joy suddenly feels hollow now. We don’t understand how that happens. We might [...]

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Finding Single Mom Help with Homework

Finding Single Mom Help with Homework

Stephanie Kramer2025-09-27T06:32:14+00:00September 27th, 2025|Christian Counseling for Children, Featured, Individual Counseling|

“How are you juggling everything?” That’s a question you’re accustomed to hearing. It’s true. You juggle housework, your career, and the lives of your children. Just when you think you have successfully completed level one of single motherhood, your child’s mid-semester report comes in, and you realize that in all your juggling, you dropped a ball or two. While some children are self-motivated and capable of completing their homework without outside assistance and reminders, many children lack this self-discipline. For the single mom, finding time, let alone energy, to help with homework after a long day on the job can feel not only impractical but downright exhausting. If you’re a single mom struggling to keep your kids’ homework on track, here are a few ideas that might help. Be transparent Keep in open communication with your child’s school. Let them know that you’re a single, working mom and that you can’t devote a lot of time to homework. Most schools will do their best to help the student complete assignments in class, especially if they know that doing homework might be a challenge. Communicate regularly Keep an open channel of communication with your child’s school. Make sure that your contact information is up to date so that they have an easy and effective way of communicating with you. Ask questions of your child’s teachers to ensure that any issues with grades are addressed immediately instead of allowing them to snowball. Find help Some schools offer after-school tutoring. If yours does not, look to local community resources such as the Boys and Girls Clubs or local churches that might offer assistance with homework. If your area does not have a homework-helping program, consider hiring a tutor or asking a friend or relative to step in to assist in this way. Offer rewards Ultimately, the [...]

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Healing by Faith: Finding Support from a Christian Counselor in Texas

Healing by Faith: Finding Support from a Christian Counselor in Texas

Dr. Barbara Orticelli, Kate Motaung2025-09-26T09:28:54+00:00September 26th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development, Women’s Issues|

As Christians, why do we claim, embrace, and take ownership over what does not belong to us, including sicknesses, illnesses, diseases, and afflictions? I hear and see many commercials on prescribed medications for diseases and infections, and people say "my" as if it were theirs to embrace and hold onto. I watched a commercial with a woman singing about Type II diabetes as if it was set up as a musical or play from Broadway. Why is she celebrating the disease as a joyous occasion? This is often the worldly normality of life for those diagnosed with a sickness or disease. Instead, I offer an alternate challenge: Let's be mindful of what we say and change how we speak. Proverbs 18:21 (AMP) says, "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." We must watch our language when discussing things that are not part of Yahweh's plan. Let's speak positively! Bad health, disease, and decay were not originally intended for Yahweh's people. When illness strikes, it's a reminder of our human vulnerability, encouraging us to turn to Christ the Messiah for strength, who can restore our health (Jeremiah 30:17). Diseases and sicknesses were not created for us to keep, so why do we claim them as ours? According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, "healing" means to be free from injury or disease, to make sound or whole, to restore health, and to make well again. We should treat Yahweh's Scriptures like medicine, nourishing our souls, as they can bring healing. His healing can be instantaneous (Psalm 107:20). Do you believe in the Heavenly Father's Word over the adverse reports that could harm you? Let's stand firmly on our foundation of faith and believe in the Most High's Word. My Testimony of [...]

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Effective Ways of Dealing with Loneliness

Effective Ways of Dealing with Loneliness

Maria Yanez, Kate Motaung2025-09-13T06:56:01+00:00September 15th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Our nature as beings made in God’s image means that we have within us a deep desire and need to be connected to others, as modeled in the relationship nature of the Holy Trinity. We yearn for relationships and a sense of connectedness to God and others, but we don’t always feel this when we need it. The American professor, advocate for world peace, political journalist, and author Norman Cousins is quoted as saying, “The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness.” Loneliness is a problem that affects people from all walks of life, though some are more prone to it than others. In 2023, the US Attorney General went as far as calling loneliness a public health epidemic, and it’s not hard to understand why, as more research shows its connection to mental health issues. Where God created us to be seen, known, and understood, loneliness is the exact opposite. Loneliness is that sense of emotional isolation and disconnection; it’s painful and unpleasant, and there are healthy as well as unhealthy ways to try and address it. The Problem with Loneliness We all feel lonely at points in our lives. Perhaps you’ve felt it on that first day at school, or other subsequent first days as the years rolled by. Loneliness can set in when a person lacks social connections or relationships. The strange thing about loneliness is that it can set in even when one has those connections or relationships, giving rise to the sentiment of feeling all alone in a crowded room. Loneliness is complex, but at the root, it’s about feeling emotionally disconnected from other people. That’s why it can set in whether you have social connections or not. You can be in relationship with other people, but if you [...]

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Protecting Your Mental Health: For Teens

Protecting Your Mental Health: For Teens

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2025-09-09T10:51:03+00:00September 9th, 2025|Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Teens face many challenges and obstacles that their parents never faced. Your thoughts, emotions, and behavior impact your well-being as a teenager. How you react to others or perceive the world around you can influence your mental health. Good mental health for teens does not mean you will never face any opposition; it simply means you are equipped with coping mechanisms and emotional resilience to carry on despite challenges. Why Their Mental Health is Critical Good mental health for teens is critical for their overall well-being. They must be able to process emotions, flip negative thoughts, adopt healthy habits, and be productive at home, school, church, and community. If they choose Christian counseling as a resource for learning coping skills, you can use these strategies for the rest of their lives when they feel overwhelmed. Tips to Protect Your Mental Health: For Teens Protecting your mental health should be a priority. Although parents try their hardest to help, as a teen, you need to practice healthy habits and learn how to cope physically, mentally, and emotionally. Your mental, emotional, and physical health are all connected. For example, if you feel depressed, you may become fatigued and have unexplained body aches or headaches. If you are chronically ill, you may be more susceptible to depression and anxiety. The following list includes several tips to protect your mental health. Choose a few to try, and skip the ones that don’t fit in with your life. Give yourself a few weeks to develop the habit and see an impact on your mental health. If you seek counseling, share your new healthy habits with your counselor, so they know what worked and what you haven’t tried yet. Carve out me-time School, sports, extracurricular activities, church, chores, family time, the list can seem endless. [...]

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How Your Upbringing Affects Your First Year of Marriage: Dividing Household Responsibilities

How Your Upbringing Affects Your First Year of Marriage: Dividing Household Responsibilities

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-09-05T07:04:40+00:00September 5th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Marriage is a beautiful journey filled with joy, love, and growth, but it also comes with its share of challenges, especially managing household responsibilities. For newlyweds, disagreements over chores can quickly overshadow the excitement of starting their life together. What these couples often overlook is that their differing expectations are not just about dishes and dusting – they are rooted in the ways they were raised. Understanding how upbringing shapes our views on household roles and learning to adjust to these differences in our spouse are crucial steps toward building a harmonious marriage and finally tackling the “to-do list.” Katie and Carson: A Case Study in Marital Expectations Katie and Carson were a young couple who had been happily married for three months. They had moved into a cozy new apartment, sparsely furnished and filled with thrifted items and hand-me-downs. Because neither of them had ever lived alone, neither had learned how to efficiently maintain a home. Soon, the dirty dishes were piled up in the sink, and the trash cans overflowed. Their love nest had turned into a pigsty, and neither was willing to do the household chores. Katie came from a single-dad household where her father had done most of the housework. Carson grew up in a house that had more traditional gender roles, where his mother took care of all the household responsibilities while his dad supported the family financially. Katie and Carson had opposite viewpoints as to who should be taking care of the household chores. Since Carson worked a full-time job, he felt that Katie should take on most of the household chores. Katie felt that the household chores should be equally shared, even though she did not contribute financially to the household. The Impact of Upbringing on Marriage Expectations The way we are raised [...]

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