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7 Signs of a Toxic Marriage

7 Signs of a Toxic Marriage

Melissa Plantz2025-08-22T07:26:10+00:00August 22nd, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Do you feel like your marriage is in trouble? Marriage is hard work, and arguments and disagreements will happen. Hard times will come. However, a toxic marriage has to do with the breakdown of behavior in the relationship between both spouses to the degree that it is abusive or borderline abusive. Toxic Marriage Signs There are several signs of a toxic marriage to watch for. As you read through the following signs, remember that your relationship does not need to hit on all of them to be harmful. For example, if your spouse controls your movements, decisions, thoughts, work, finances, and clothing, you are in an unhealthy marriage. A toxic marriage typically ends in divorce unless a behavior change is apparent. Too many abusive spouses own up to their behavior and then “love bomb” their partner to get back into their good graces, only to revert to their bad behavior. Remember that you cannot change or “fix” your spouse. If you stay in a toxic marriage, eventually, your physical, mental, and emotional health will suffer. Your Spouse is Controlling If your spouse controls your actions, decisions, or thoughts, or if they control finances, food, and clothing to the degree that you have no say, you are in a toxic relationship. This person wants you to rely solely on them for basic needs. They will keep you from bettering yourself and scoffing at your opinions. You Feel on Edge A toxic marriage will make you walk on eggshells, afraid of the next disagreement. Your spouse may have anger outbursts over small things or give you the silent treatment. You are unsure of their response from one day to the next, so you live on the edge, constantly anxious. They may yell and insult you, find a way to punish you [...]

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What Does It Mean to Have Abandonment Issues In Relationships?

What Does It Mean to Have Abandonment Issues In Relationships?

Dr. Barbara Orticelli, Kate Motaung2025-08-12T08:54:31+00:00August 12th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The term abandonment issues in relationships refers to an irrational fear of being deserted or rejected by those closest to you. People with abandonment issues have a hard time trusting others or believing that their partner’s feelings are sincere. This can lead to a fear of intimacy and seeing problems where none exist. Reasons People Develop Abandonment Issues In Relationships Abandonment issues in relationships most often stem from family instability growing up. Having a primary caregiver who was unpredictable and inconsistent, for example, or being severely traumatized by physical or emotional neglect or abuse. They can, however, also be rooted in attachment injuries that happen later in life, such as an unexpected divorce or breakup, being betrayed by a partner, or the death of a loved one. Common Characteristics Of People With Abandonment Issues Insecurity You feel needy and insecure, never knowing what to expect, seek constant validation and reassurance that your partner really loves you and is not going to leave you and look for signs that he or she does not. Fear of intimacy You may avoid getting too close to another person or becoming fully committed to a relationship because you associate intimacy with eventual pain and loss. Clinginess On the flip side, you may be clingy, overly attached to your partner, dependent on him or her to meet all your needs, and afraid of any distance between you. You try to micromanage every detail of your relationship and use subtle forms of emotional manipulation to make life feel safe and predictable, which it never does. Trust Issues You don’t believe anyone is reliable, have trouble trusting other people’s commitment and intentions, and are convinced everyone will eventually leave you. Even when you are in a loving, supportive relationship, you still struggle with jealousy and suspicion, overthink [...]

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Helping Your Depressed Husband: Finding Support in Rockwall, Texas

Helping Your Depressed Husband: Finding Support in Rockwall, Texas

Melissa Plantz2025-08-12T08:34:56+00:00August 12th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Although more women suffer from depression than men, men are still at risk. Depression is a mental disorder that can range from mild to severe, and last several weeks, months, or years. It can disrupt the home, work, the relationship in the bedroom, and other areas of life. Helping your depressed husband is critical to maintaining a strong relationship while he receives treatment. How to Help Your Depressed Husband You can help your depressed husband with a few lifestyle changes and reprioritizing the relationship. Remember when you were dating? Most people would have walked miles to see the other person. They would run to the phone when it rang to see if it was them. Once married, we accept adult responsibilities, and sometimes these crowd out the excitement of the relationship. Work with your husband to rekindle the spark in your relationship. The feelings of love and acceptance trigger the release of serotonin and dopamine, counteracting stress hormones and alleviating depression. Consider a few of the tips for helping a depressed husband. Encourage couples counseling Let your husband know you are willing to attend couples counseling with him. He may be afraid to go alone or think it’s a waste of time, but he’ll be willing to go if you’re by his side. Impress upon him that the strategies and skills the counselor shares will help alleviate his depression symptoms. Couples counseling also provides you with an opportunity to share your concerns and learn how to support your husband. Help him with tasks when he’s overwhelmed If your husband is the primary breadwinner in the family or works a stressful job, he may feel overwhelmed by his responsibilities. If he’s out of work, the chronic stress may be contributing to his depression. Try to help him with tasks when you [...]

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The Truth about Burnout and PTSD

The Truth about Burnout and PTSD

Amanda Osowski, Kate Motaung2025-08-08T07:33:03+00:00August 8th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

As of 2025, an estimated 66% of the American workforce is experiencing burnout in their careers. According to recent information, women are more likely to experience burnout than men, and the average person experiences some kind of burnout before the age of twenty-five. Due to its recent popularity, even the term “burnout” has become a buzzword word which might have caused it to lose meaning. So, what is burnout? How do you know if you are experiencing it, and what can be done about it? The Truth about Burnout Burnout is often used as a sanitized description of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD is a mental health condition caused by being exposed to traumas like war, genocide, or a global disaster. However, people also experience PTSD from experiencing far more common traumas like crippling workloads, demanding schedules, insurmountable debt, and toxic home or work environments. Few people will readily accept that what they are experiencing is PTSD, but often that is the best description of their mental health state. It starts to make sense once you realize that you are pouring all of your time, energy, and emotional resources into your jobs, schools, or difficult relationships. Sometimes, even when you are doing more enjoyable things like hobbies and socializing, you might get to the point where you are running on empty. However, you do not have to stay there, but it does take intentionality. Identification It’s hard to find a balance when it feels like life is crashing down, and that you are the only thing that keeps disaster at bay. Living under these kinds of stressful conditions forces your nervous system into survival mode. Living in this state can cause issues that can be harmful to us. It can get to the point where you no longer experience [...]

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Faith, Kids, and Screens: Protecting Kids’ Mental Health

Faith, Kids, and Screens: Protecting Kids’ Mental Health

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2025-08-07T06:55:56+00:00August 7th, 2025|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

Do you have a little one nearby who’s staring at a screen? Don’t think you’re alone in feeling overwhelmed by the digital world and its effect on our children. As parents, we look around and wonder how we got here, where tablets have become babysitters and phones are now constant companions for our children. We are not left without wisdom to protect kids’ mental health. His word holds the answers we need. Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he grows older, he will not abandon it. – Proverbs 22:6, NASB There is no doubt that we’re raising children in a time unlike any other. Kids are growing up as digital natives, surrounded by screens from the moment they can focus their eyes. Technology brings wonderful opportunities for learning and connection, but it also brings challenges. Screen use affects kids’ mental health, emotional development, and spiritual growth in various ways we are just beginning to understand. Understanding the Screen Struggle When we look at the screen generation, we can become overwhelmed. Studies have shown that children are spending more than two hours a day on recreational screen time and scoring lower on thinking and language tests at school. With this heavy screen exposure comes an increased rate of anxiety, depression, and attention difficulties. These are the mental health issues that concern every parent who seeks to raise healthy children. As Christian parents, we understand that our children are more than just developing brains – they are eternal souls created in God’s image. Spending hours each day in a virtual world can cause something profound to happen in their inner life. The repeated stimulation can make it difficult for them to sit quietly and listen for God’s voice. The speed at which entertainment is accessible [...]

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Do Toxic Couples Know They’re Toxic?

Do Toxic Couples Know They’re Toxic?

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-08-01T07:35:06+00:00August 1st, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Having healthy self-awareness can help you in many life situations. If you can tell that you’re getting angry, for example, you can remove yourself from the situation or otherwise take steps to manage your anger appropriately. Similarly, if you know your limits of patience, wisdom, time, and capacity, that will help you prevent overextending or overcommitting yourself, which can lead to chronic stress and burnout. Just as self-awareness can help you in these ways, it can also help you in your relationships. Not all relationships are made equal, as some are healthy and can contribute to you becoming the best version of yourself, while others can break you down and diminish you and your well-being. Being aware of what type of relationship you’re in, or better yet, knowing what sort of relationships to avoid, can help protect you and your well-being. What are toxic couples? Romantic relationships come in all kinds of packages, but despite these differences, at the heart of every healthy relationship should be love, respect, and care for one another. Healthy relationships make for better well-being, as people find the support they need to pursue their goals, and their relationships aren’t a source of stress and constant conflict. Having people around you who care for you makes a huge difference in your life. Toxic couples are those who aren’t loving, respectful, or caring in the way they relate to one another and the posture they take toward each other. This can happen in big, obvious ways that are plain to see, but it can happen in small ways that are no less impactful in undermining the health of the relationship. The couple may be completely oblivious to themselves, but the relationship will nonetheless still be toxic. When soil, water, or air is toxic, what we mean [...]

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Self-Reflection and Spiritual Maturity: A Pathway to Inner Growth

Self-Reflection and Spiritual Maturity: A Pathway to Inner Growth

Joseph Bennett, Kate Motaung2025-07-30T09:36:00+00:00July 30th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

Self-reflection is a basic part of spiritual development and emotional wellness in the Christian lifestyle. By examining our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, we create a pathway that leads us to deeper spiritual maturity and true transformation. By intentionally engaging in regular self-examination, Christians begin to understand the patterns that shape their responses and actions. The process of self-reflection can be challenging to navigate because it requires individuals to confront aspects of themselves that they would rather avoid. On the positive side, this journey can cultivate growth in faith and spiritual maturity. With careful examination of inner lives, individuals are intentionally creating space for God to work in areas that need healing and transformation. Let us examine and probe our ways, And let us return to the Lord. – Lamentations 3:40, NASB Biblical Self-Examination Believers can discern a clear mandate in Scripture to engage in self-reflection as a part of their spiritual development. When self-examination is established as a practice along with prayer and Bible study, spiritual maturity will continue to progress. Even in the Old Testament, there was a struggle with various issues regarding self-reflection and spiritual maturity. The key to spiritual maturity is to pursue humility with an honest intention. Biblical self-examination is quite a bit different from secular self-reflection because it involves recognizing God’s sovereign power in the process of discovery. Using the lens of the Scriptures, believers can examine their hearts, minds, and motivations and gain access to divine wisdom that transforms human understanding. This is how Christian self-reflection is distinguished from psychological approaches. Christian counselors understand the importance of grounding self-reflection in biblical truth to prevent unhealthy rumination or intense self-focus. It is important to know that spiritual maternity develops through honest assessment guided by God’s word and Spirit. Believers can maintain a proper perspective [...]

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Reasons to Consider Christian Couples Counseling

Reasons to Consider Christian Couples Counseling

Dr. Barbara Orticelli, Kate Motaung2025-07-26T07:07:41+00:00July 28th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Relationships don’t come ready-made out of the box. There’s a lot of growth, negotiation, mutual understanding, and accommodation that happens to make a relationship flourish. These skills aren’t obvious, and not everyone has them from the outset. However, we all can learn, and that capacity for growth means that we can improve our relationships. One avenue for growth is through seeking couples counseling. There are many reasons an individual might consider seeing a counselor. When two people begin a relationship, each with their own unique personalities and histories, the potential for misunderstandings, conflict, and hurt increases. Going to counseling as a couple can help you navigate these kinds of challenges and build a healthier partnership between you. What is Christian couples counseling? Christian couples counseling is a form of talk therapy where two people are guided by a professional with training to help them navigate the many thorny issues that often come up in relationships. The counselor has many years of specialized training to help them understand the dynamics of human relationships and to help you understand your situation better. When you go for counseling, it’s a partnership relationship. It’s important that you feel comfortable with your counselor’s approach and that you trust them. Without that trust, it’s hard to undergo the process, putting in the work that takes time before you see its fruit. This therapeutic alliance is important for getting the most out of your sessions. Couples counseling addresses a wide range of issues, but one of the important things is to come with the willingness to change and grow. Being open to the counseling process helps you receive what your counselor has for you, whether it’s encouragement and pointing out your strengths as a couple or highlighting unhealthy patterns of behavior. Your counselor wants to help you, [...]

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Finding Help for Hoarders Who Are Children

Finding Help for Hoarders Who Are Children

Grace Mavindidze2025-07-16T10:33:48+00:00July 16th, 2025|Christian Counseling for Children, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

If you think back to when you were a kid, you probably remember having a few favorite items, maybe a stuffed animal, a toy truck, or a stack of drawings you kept for years. Now, imagine a child for whom almost every little object, whether a broken pencil, a piece of string, or an old toy, feels like something irreplaceable. Naturally, finding help for hoarders is no easy feat, let alone when the hoarders are kids. When it comes to children who hoard, their belongings aren’t just stuff to them. They can hold deep emotional meaning, becoming part of how the child views themselves or copes with difficult emotions. The reasons children hoard are complex and often tied to emotional and psychological factors. For many young hoarders, the items they collect quickly become their link to memories or feelings, making it hard for the child to let go of them, even if they seem trivial to others. Hoarding can also be a way for children to deal with overwhelming emotions. Kids who have experienced trauma or big life changes, like moving, divorce, or bereavement, might turn to hoarding as a way to cope. The items they gather can feel like a way to hold onto a sense of control in a world that feels uncertain. What does hoarding look like in children? Child hoarders quickly become emotionally attached to things that others might consider trash or clutter. The child might hold onto drawings, toys, or even things they’ve outgrown. Separating the child from items may even cause panic attacks or meltdowns. Their room or living space can quickly become cluttered or full of piling up unused items. They may also resist attempts by family members to clean or declutter, which can lead to conflicts at home. Socially, kids who hoard [...]

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“I Am Angry!” What Your Anger Is Saying, and How to Deal with It

“I Am Angry!” What Your Anger Is Saying, and How to Deal with It

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2025-07-10T07:38:56+00:00July 10th, 2025|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Is it such a bad thing for you to feel or get angry? Anger is a powerful emotion that often doesn’t receive the appreciation it deserves. One important reason for this is that the circumstances that typically trigger anger and the ways anger is expressed were not proportionate. It’s not pleasant to revisit the reasons we got angry or the ways we reacted. These negative associations become confused with anger itself. Instead of lumping anger and these negative experiences together, there may be value in recognizing how anger can be helpful and becoming acquainted with the healthy ways anger can be expressed. These steps can help you come to terms with your anger and improve various facets of your life, including your ability to regulate emotions and address your relationships with others. Anger – Yay or Nay? When you think about anger, do you ever think of it as something that the Lord may have given you for a purpose? The sum of your life experiences may lead you to say “No” and feel entirely justified in saying so. Frankly, Scripture says a lot about anger, and most of it is cautionary. Whenever human anger is mentioned, it’s usually a warning that it shouldn’t be indulged. One poignant example of this is from James, which reads, Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God – James 1:19-20, ESV Human anger is placed in stark contrast to a life that does right by God and with others. The idea is to avoid anger altogether, right? It’s possible to take it this way, but that leaves you with an awkward silence when you encounter various Bible passages about God’s [...]

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