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Overcoming Grief with the Help of a Christian Grief Counselor

Overcoming Grief with the Help of a Christian Grief Counselor

Maria Yanez, Kate Motaung2026-08-26T06:19:20+00:00August 26th, 2026|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

Typically, the question of whether grief counseling is for you is reserved for the end of these types of articles. It comes after describing what grief counseling is, the role of a grief counselor, the pros and cons of grief counseling, and exploring group versus individual grief counseling. Still, it can be helpful to address this question up front. Will a grief counselor help you process your loss? Signs of Grief If you find yourself struggling to cope with your emotions in the wake of loss, that suggests that counseling could be a helpful next step. Some signs that indicate you could benefit from grief counseling would include the following: Sleep Issues Having trouble falling and staying asleep, or you find yourself oversleeping Changes in Appetite Experiencing changes in your appetite, such as not eating much or eating way more than you usually do Avoidance Avoiding people, activities, or the places that remind you of what you’ve lost Physical Symptoms Fatigue, headaches, or gastrointestinal issues that aren’t resolved using regular remedies Feeling overwhelmed and experiencing persistent feelings of guilt, anger, sadness, or even numbness can indicate that you’re struggling with grief. This is especially true if these feelings make it hard to carry on as usual with your life. Struggling to cope in this way may indicate a need for counseling. Lastly, if you’re turning to substance abuse, risky behaviors, or other unhealthy coping mechanisms, help is key. These can include food, work, or indulging your anger, which could indicate that you could benefit from time with a grief counselor. Some or all of these might sound familiar to you. It’s important to take loss seriously and to consider how you’re responding to that loss. Grief can take you to dark places. Talking with a grief counselor can provide you with the space [...]

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How Thought Distortions Affect Relationships and What You Can Do About Them

How Thought Distortions Affect Relationships and What You Can Do About Them

William L Ross, Kate Motaung2026-08-25T07:12:57+00:00August 25th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There’s a good chance that misunderstandings and wrong beliefs are causing many struggles you might be having in your relationship, you have about yourself, your partner, and other people. It’s common for people to have a biased way of thinking without even realizing that they are in the wrong. It’s only when someone shows them with practical examples that they can begin to realize how skewed their beliefs have been. These misconceptions and incorrect beliefs are called thought distortions, and they are behind many of the issues people have in relationships. A thought distortion is like a lens on a camera. When placed on a camera, a lens will distort or enhance reality in different ways, making everything seem broader, darker, or exaggerating small details to seem enormous. Similarly, sometimes people see the world through a lens that distorts reality. They see the ordinary things others see as malicious and hurtful, and they focus on minor issues until they become big deals while ignoring other information. When you understand which lens or thought distortion you are viewing the world through, you can begin to challenge your point of view and change the way you think about yourself and your loved ones. Examples of Thought Distortions There is a small list of thought distortions, and each one has been named. This is to make it easier to identify and label the exact thought distortion you have been affected by, so that you can begin challenging it. You may have been viewing life through multiple lenses, but it is also possible to identify and challenge each one. Perhaps you draw broad conclusions about people based on one interaction. Let’s say that your partner forgot about your birthday, and you concluded that they no longer care about you or the relationship anymore. [...]

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What Is Avoidance Anxiety and How Do I Overcome It?

What Is Avoidance Anxiety and How Do I Overcome It?

Amanda Osowski, Kate Motaung2026-08-13T07:39:19+00:00August 13th, 2026|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Women’s Issues|

It is in our nature to want to gravitate to the things that we enjoy, and to steer clear of those that we do not. We typically do not go out of our way to put ourselves in situations where we feel embarrassed, out of place, and not having a good time. The question is, when we experience these adverse situations, what do we do about them? Sometimes, rather than face situations head-on or enter difficult situations more than once, we retreat from them and begin to avoid them. When a situation induces symptoms of anxiety, we can experience sweaty palms, increased heart rate, rapid breathing, and trouble concentrating, to name a few. We can choose to go through whatever is causing us feelings of anxiety, or we can shrink back from it. When we retreat from these situations, we are engaging in avoidance. When we use that as a coping mechanism to deal with anxiety, it can often lead to anxiety feelings growing over time. What Is Avoidance? Avoidance is a term often used to describe a way of coping to protect us from real or perceived harm, and it is an effective survival mechanism. When something makes us feel anxious, we tend to avoid that thing. At first, we might feel less anxious as a result. The issue is that after a while, the thing we are anxiously avoiding can seem harder to approach, and the problem seems much larger than before. Avoiding fearful situations seems to make rational sense, but in truth, it actually increases and fortifies our fears. While this is the most common result of avoidance, there are some benefits to avoidance. Not all avoidance is unnecessary. The nervous system does a good job of helping us avoid things that can truly harm us. It is when we associate harm with things that are not harmful that we experience difficulties. For instance, if you eat at a particular restaurant and get food [...]

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Strangely Specific Signs of Social Anxiety

Strangely Specific Signs of Social Anxiety

Joseph Bennett, Kate Motaung2026-08-28T10:15:09+00:00August 10th, 2026|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues|

There comes a time in everyone’s life when they must confront the thing that makes them most anxious. This might be traveling by airplane, having to address a room of hundreds of people, or, for those with social anxiety, it might be something as simple as answering the phone. The signs of social anxiety can be so unexpected that it’s easy to be dismissive of someone’s struggle. People with social anxiety frequently think of themselves as introverted or even quirky because they haven’t found a sufficient explanation for their anxieties. Whatever is happening beneath the surface, it is something that can be resolved. It may feel debilitating now, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. Imperfect Comparisons How often do we look at our peers and marvel at their confidence, tenacity, or success? We might envy their communication skills or their ability to hold the attention of the entire room when they speak. We can’t see their anxiety each time they speak, or the long road they have taken to find success. It’s fine to compare ourselves to others if it inspires us to improve certain things. However, comparison so often makes us feel worse about ourselves, even when we can’t see things like hidden social anxiety. Outwardly, a person might not display any signs of social anxiety, but just because we cannot see it does not mean it isn’t there. Perhaps they spent decades confronting their fears before they reached the point where they could confidently communicate with crowds. It’s not a bad idea to aspire to have someone else’s levels of confidence or communication skills. Keep in mind, though, that people are like icebergs; only a small part of them is visible. Filling in the Gaps Our brains have a wonderful ability to fill in the [...]

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Using the Psychodynamic Approach to Reconnect With Parts of Yourself You’ve Silenced

Using the Psychodynamic Approach to Reconnect With Parts of Yourself You’ve Silenced

Grace Mavindidze2026-07-31T13:53:10+00:00July 31st, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

There are parts of you that rarely get a voice. Many people of faith wrestle with emotions they’ve learned to suppress, from fear, shame, guilt, and resentment to grief that feels unacceptable. Yet those unspoken feelings still influence how you relate, love, and respond. The psychodynamic approach offers a way to listen inward again, to understand what those quiet emotions have been trying to say all along. When people hear the word psychodynamic, it can sound like something reserved for textbooks or graduate programs. In practice, this approach is simply a way of understanding how your emotional experiences still influence how you think, feel, and relate today. This approach helps you see how your inner world works. It looks at the feelings you’ve learned to push aside, the stories you tell yourself about who you are, and the ways you protect yourself from pain. It helps you understand yourself. That understanding becomes the foundation for real change, because you can’t heal what you don’t recognize. Where The Psychodynamic Approach Comes From The psychodynamic approach grew out of early psychology, when therapists began noticing that people’s current struggles were mostly connected to experiences they hadn’t fully processed. Over time, this idea evolved from the work of thinkers like Freud and Jung into a more modern, compassionate way of understanding how the past shapes the present. In simple terms, the psychodynamic approach looks at the emotional patterns that live beneath your everyday reactions. Why Old Feelings Still Shape How You See Yourself Today Most people assume that once something is in the past, it stays there. In truth, emotional experiences don’t fade just because time passes. They linger in the background, influencing how you see yourself and how you respond to others. Maybe you learned early on that expressing anger led [...]

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Habits That Make Loneliness and Depression Worse

Habits That Make Loneliness and Depression Worse

Joseph Bennett, Kate Motaung2026-07-18T05:00:35+00:00July 20th, 2026|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Women’s Issues|

It’s perfectly normal to sometimes feel alone, vulnerable, and in need of connection, support, and validation. Many people go through seasons of feeling this way until their situation changes, and they find the help they need. However, others seem to live their lives in a constant state of loneliness and depression, forever frustrated that they can’t seem to connect with anybody, and clueless as to how to change. Loneliness is not about being alone as much as it’s about feeling unseen and as if you don’t matter. This might have started in childhood, when your needs and wants were dismissed or overlooked by someone who should have been nurturing and loving you. It might be the result of recent trauma that has left you feeling as if you no longer know how to participate in society. Regardless of the root cause, you have likely picked up habits over the years that have contributed to your feelings of loneliness and depression. You are not forever stuck in this situation, but there is work to do if you are going to get out of it. When Loneliness and Depression Leave You Feeling Invisible If you are dealing with loneliness and depression, you might feel as if you are a ghost. It is as if people see through you and as if you make no real impression on anyone around you. This is an awful feeling that you can never get used to, no matter how many years you have experienced it, and you should never have to. People are made for connection, friendships, relationships, and interdependence. Life is supposed to be complicated and sometimes messy, busy, challenging, and comforting. We are meant to have our hearts broken and then mended, to have love and to give it, to provide support to [...]

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Navigating Conflict in the Workplace as a Manager

Navigating Conflict in the Workplace as a Manager

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2026-07-16T08:24:54+00:00July 16th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Professional Development, Relationship Issues, Women’s Issues|

Conflict is inevitable in any place where people meet together daily. In a workplace, agreements and progress coexist with personality clashes and other issues that you might feel unqualified to handle as a manager. No matter the amount of training and experience you have, you will face conflict in the workplace at some point, and you might struggle to deal with it. By nature, being in a management position means being a bridge between different departments and levels of leadership, as well as a bridge between workers when they are divided over an issue. While you might have departments like Human Resources and leaders in upper management for support, there will be times when you must step into the role of mediator. Part of your job is to ensure that conflict is resolved and progress can continue. Sometimes you will feel stretched beyond your capacity as you focus on your personal responsibilities and goals, while motivating, directing, and confronting workers in your department. Conflict in the workplace is not only common, but it is often normal and sometimes even healthy. It can show that people are affected by the events that take place in the workplace, and are unwilling to let go, give up, or walk away. On the other hand, conflict in the workplace will lead to bigger issues and deeper hurt unless you step in and take control of the situation. Mediating conflict is a learned skill that needs to be practiced regularly. Many managers face personal struggles in this area. If you are willing to be self-reflective and unbiased when approaching and confronting conflict, it will help. Always a Personal Issue Even when conflict in the workplace does not involve you and require your leadership, it still impacts you emotionally and mentally. You might not realize [...]

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5 “As” for Dealing with Resentment in Marriage

5 “As” for Dealing with Resentment in Marriage

Dr. Huy Lam, Kate Motaung2026-07-07T06:31:28+00:00July 7th, 2026|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

A perfect marriage does not exist. Some marriages are struggling, some are flourishing and healthy, some are dysfunctional, characterized by resentment, and some are happy. But perfect marriages – meaning marriages where there are no issues and all needs and expectations are met as desired – are quite likely an ideal that is rarely, if ever, realized. In any given marriage, there are two people with distinct personalities, needs, stresses, gifts, and abilities. Even with the best of intentions, two such imperfect people are bound to offend one another, either through what they do or what they leave undone. When that happens, the couple can deal with it in ways that bring life to the marriage, or they can address it in ways that spark anger and cause the situation to spiral further downward. Resentment is one of the sentiments that can take root in a marriage and undermine its health. Dealing with it swiftly and decisively is one of the best things you can do to help you and your spouse toward a happier marriage. What is resentment? Resentment is the feeling of anger or indignation that often results when a person is treated unfairly, taken advantage of, or emotionally wounded in any other way. It is a complex and multilayered emotion that combines disappointment, disgust, and anger. Resentment can set in after a single incident, but it often takes root after a pattern of behavior emerges. Resentment often compounds over time. When we feel resentful toward a person, it can present in a variety of ways. It could look like us pretending to be happy and smiling at them to cover our true feelings toward them, or it manifests in speaking in a sarcastic or demeaning way to or about the person we feel resentful toward. What can [...]

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6 Ways Delayed Responses to Trauma Can Impact Primary Caregivers

6 Ways Delayed Responses to Trauma Can Impact Primary Caregivers

Maria Yanez, Kate Motaung2026-07-03T06:53:03+00:00July 3rd, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Delaying a response to a difficult situation happens often. Avoiding looking at your child’s grades online, looking the other way when you know your child’s behavior isn’t acceptable or respectful, and staying quiet when your spouse’s anger gets explosive, even though he or she isn’t abusive, are all ways a primary caregiver may be responding to trauma that was never fully processed or healed. A simple definition of trauma is a traumatic event or series of events that impacts a person’s sense of self, relationships with others, and everyday life. Trauma responses can be immediate or delayed, and they can be normal and temporary, depending on the individual. Trauma responses can also be detrimental to a person’s way of life in certain areas if not healed. When a primary caregiver isn’t aware of how his own trauma has impacted him, it can reveal itself in how he parents his children. The Difference Between Delayed and Timely Response to Trauma If you experienced trauma as a child or even as a young adult or teen, it can be difficult to discern whether you’ve processed the grief and other emotions that can coincide with trauma. Immediate physical responses to trauma may include restlessness or a feeling of not being sure what to do. You may have excess energy but struggle to know how to use it. Cognitive responses that are more immediate include an inability to concentrate or struggling to discern the time lapse during a traumatic event. However, delayed response to the same trauma may be that instead of struggling to concentrate, you detach yourself from responsibilities that would require concentration. You don’t go to work, struggle to eat and sleep, and experience thoughts that seem unwanted and intrusive related to the traumatic event. This keeps you in a perpetual [...]

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What is a Personal Life Coach? Why You Might Need One

What is a Personal Life Coach? Why You Might Need One

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2026-07-02T06:58:18+00:00July 2nd, 2026|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

There are a variety of reasons people look for a personal life coach. It can be to help them through hardship, reach a goal, or change something in their life. Consider whether a personal life coach can help you grow and reach your goals. One example of someone looking for a personal life coach may involve finances. Maybe you are tracking your discretionary spending each month and noticing patterns that are not producing the outcomes you want. While you can identify the problem, you’re having trouble with the solution. Maybe it’s something different. Maybe you and your spouse continue to circle around discussions about household responsibilities. The ones you’re least interested in doing are the ones he needs your help to complete: paying bills on time, managing the children’s discretionary funds, paying for their extracurricular activities, and grocery shopping. Would a personal life coach help? You could try a financial planner, but this emphasizes financial-only goals. As you’ve examined your spending patterns and discussed the budgetary needs with your husband, you’re in agreement (for the most part) about how money is allocated. So, is a financial planner going to help you achieve your goals, not just by ensuring your money is spent according to your budget, but also by resolving disagreements? What about dividing responsibilities? Is this something you can work out on your own, or is it causing more tension in the household? Enter the personal life coach. While life coaching has received some flak in recent years, evidence-based coaching is helpful. It can draw on the studies about coaching from four fields: behavioral sciences, business and economics, philosophy, and workplace learning or development. What is a personal life coach? At its simplest, a personal life coach is someone who helps others find solutions for growth in some [...]

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