Kate Motaung, Rockwall Christian Counseling

About Kate Motaung

Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging. Kate is also the host of Five Minute Friday, an online writing community that equips and encourages Christian writers, and the owner of Refine Services, a company that offers editing services. She and her South African husband have three young adult children and currently live in West Michigan. Find Kate’s books at katemotaung.com/books.

What Does It Mean to Have Abandonment Issues In Relationships?

What Does It Mean to Have Abandonment Issues In Relationships?

Dr. Barbara Orticelli, Kate Motaung2025-08-12T08:54:31+00:00August 12th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The term abandonment issues in relationships refers to an irrational fear of being deserted or rejected by those closest to you. People with abandonment issues have a hard time trusting others or believing that their partner’s feelings are sincere. This can lead to a fear of intimacy and seeing problems where none exist. Reasons People Develop Abandonment Issues In Relationships Abandonment issues in relationships most often stem from family instability growing up. Having a primary caregiver who was unpredictable and inconsistent, for example, or being severely traumatized by physical or emotional neglect or abuse. They can, however, also be rooted in attachment injuries that happen later in life, such as an unexpected divorce or breakup, being betrayed by a partner, or the death of a loved one. Common Characteristics Of People With Abandonment Issues Insecurity You feel needy and insecure, never knowing what to expect, seek constant validation and reassurance that your partner really loves you and is not going to leave you and look for signs that he or she does not. Fear of intimacy You may avoid getting too close to another person or becoming fully committed to a relationship because you associate intimacy with eventual pain and loss. Clinginess On the flip side, you may be clingy, overly attached to your partner, dependent on him or her to meet all your needs, and afraid of any distance between you. You try to micromanage every detail of your relationship and use subtle forms of emotional manipulation to make life feel safe and predictable, which it never does. Trust Issues You don’t believe anyone is reliable, have trouble trusting other people’s commitment and intentions, and are convinced everyone will eventually leave you. Even when you are in a loving, supportive relationship, you still struggle with jealousy and suspicion, overthink [...]

Comments Off

The Truth about Burnout and PTSD

The Truth about Burnout and PTSD

Amanda Osowski, Kate Motaung2025-08-08T07:33:03+00:00August 8th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

As of 2025, an estimated 66% of the American workforce is experiencing burnout in their careers. According to recent information, women are more likely to experience burnout than men, and the average person experiences some kind of burnout before the age of twenty-five. Due to its recent popularity, even the term “burnout” has become a buzzword word which might have caused it to lose meaning. So, what is burnout? How do you know if you are experiencing it, and what can be done about it? The Truth about Burnout Burnout is often used as a sanitized description of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD is a mental health condition caused by being exposed to traumas like war, genocide, or a global disaster. However, people also experience PTSD from experiencing far more common traumas like crippling workloads, demanding schedules, insurmountable debt, and toxic home or work environments. Few people will readily accept that what they are experiencing is PTSD, but often that is the best description of their mental health state. It starts to make sense once you realize that you are pouring all of your time, energy, and emotional resources into your jobs, schools, or difficult relationships. Sometimes, even when you are doing more enjoyable things like hobbies and socializing, you might get to the point where you are running on empty. However, you do not have to stay there, but it does take intentionality. Identification It’s hard to find a balance when it feels like life is crashing down, and that you are the only thing that keeps disaster at bay. Living under these kinds of stressful conditions forces your nervous system into survival mode. Living in this state can cause issues that can be harmful to us. It can get to the point where you no longer experience [...]

Comments Off

Faith, Kids, and Screens: Protecting Kids’ Mental Health

Faith, Kids, and Screens: Protecting Kids’ Mental Health

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2025-08-07T06:55:56+00:00August 7th, 2025|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

Do you have a little one nearby who’s staring at a screen? Don’t think you’re alone in feeling overwhelmed by the digital world and its effect on our children. As parents, we look around and wonder how we got here, where tablets have become babysitters and phones are now constant companions for our children. We are not left without wisdom to protect kids’ mental health. His word holds the answers we need. Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he grows older, he will not abandon it. – Proverbs 22:6, NASB There is no doubt that we’re raising children in a time unlike any other. Kids are growing up as digital natives, surrounded by screens from the moment they can focus their eyes. Technology brings wonderful opportunities for learning and connection, but it also brings challenges. Screen use affects kids’ mental health, emotional development, and spiritual growth in various ways we are just beginning to understand. Understanding the Screen Struggle When we look at the screen generation, we can become overwhelmed. Studies have shown that children are spending more than two hours a day on recreational screen time and scoring lower on thinking and language tests at school. With this heavy screen exposure comes an increased rate of anxiety, depression, and attention difficulties. These are the mental health issues that concern every parent who seeks to raise healthy children. As Christian parents, we understand that our children are more than just developing brains – they are eternal souls created in God’s image. Spending hours each day in a virtual world can cause something profound to happen in their inner life. The repeated stimulation can make it difficult for them to sit quietly and listen for God’s voice. The speed at which entertainment is accessible [...]

Comments Off

Do Toxic Couples Know They’re Toxic?

Do Toxic Couples Know They’re Toxic?

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-08-01T07:35:06+00:00August 1st, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Having healthy self-awareness can help you in many life situations. If you can tell that you’re getting angry, for example, you can remove yourself from the situation or otherwise take steps to manage your anger appropriately. Similarly, if you know your limits of patience, wisdom, time, and capacity, that will help you prevent overextending or overcommitting yourself, which can lead to chronic stress and burnout. Just as self-awareness can help you in these ways, it can also help you in your relationships. Not all relationships are made equal, as some are healthy and can contribute to you becoming the best version of yourself, while others can break you down and diminish you and your well-being. Being aware of what type of relationship you’re in, or better yet, knowing what sort of relationships to avoid, can help protect you and your well-being. What are toxic couples? Romantic relationships come in all kinds of packages, but despite these differences, at the heart of every healthy relationship should be love, respect, and care for one another. Healthy relationships make for better well-being, as people find the support they need to pursue their goals, and their relationships aren’t a source of stress and constant conflict. Having people around you who care for you makes a huge difference in your life. Toxic couples are those who aren’t loving, respectful, or caring in the way they relate to one another and the posture they take toward each other. This can happen in big, obvious ways that are plain to see, but it can happen in small ways that are no less impactful in undermining the health of the relationship. The couple may be completely oblivious to themselves, but the relationship will nonetheless still be toxic. When soil, water, or air is toxic, what we mean [...]

Comments Off

Self-Reflection and Spiritual Maturity: A Pathway to Inner Growth

Self-Reflection and Spiritual Maturity: A Pathway to Inner Growth

Joseph Bennett, Kate Motaung2025-07-30T09:36:00+00:00July 30th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

Self-reflection is a basic part of spiritual development and emotional wellness in the Christian lifestyle. By examining our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, we create a pathway that leads us to deeper spiritual maturity and true transformation. By intentionally engaging in regular self-examination, Christians begin to understand the patterns that shape their responses and actions. The process of self-reflection can be challenging to navigate because it requires individuals to confront aspects of themselves that they would rather avoid. On the positive side, this journey can cultivate growth in faith and spiritual maturity. With careful examination of inner lives, individuals are intentionally creating space for God to work in areas that need healing and transformation. Let us examine and probe our ways, And let us return to the Lord. – Lamentations 3:40, NASB Biblical Self-Examination Believers can discern a clear mandate in Scripture to engage in self-reflection as a part of their spiritual development. When self-examination is established as a practice along with prayer and Bible study, spiritual maturity will continue to progress. Even in the Old Testament, there was a struggle with various issues regarding self-reflection and spiritual maturity. The key to spiritual maturity is to pursue humility with an honest intention. Biblical self-examination is quite a bit different from secular self-reflection because it involves recognizing God’s sovereign power in the process of discovery. Using the lens of the Scriptures, believers can examine their hearts, minds, and motivations and gain access to divine wisdom that transforms human understanding. This is how Christian self-reflection is distinguished from psychological approaches. Christian counselors understand the importance of grounding self-reflection in biblical truth to prevent unhealthy rumination or intense self-focus. It is important to know that spiritual maternity develops through honest assessment guided by God’s word and Spirit. Believers can maintain a proper perspective [...]

Comments Off

Reasons to Consider Christian Couples Counseling

Reasons to Consider Christian Couples Counseling

Dr. Barbara Orticelli, Kate Motaung2025-07-26T07:07:41+00:00July 28th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Relationships don’t come ready-made out of the box. There’s a lot of growth, negotiation, mutual understanding, and accommodation that happens to make a relationship flourish. These skills aren’t obvious, and not everyone has them from the outset. However, we all can learn, and that capacity for growth means that we can improve our relationships. One avenue for growth is through seeking couples counseling. There are many reasons an individual might consider seeing a counselor. When two people begin a relationship, each with their own unique personalities and histories, the potential for misunderstandings, conflict, and hurt increases. Going to counseling as a couple can help you navigate these kinds of challenges and build a healthier partnership between you. What is Christian couples counseling? Christian couples counseling is a form of talk therapy where two people are guided by a professional with training to help them navigate the many thorny issues that often come up in relationships. The counselor has many years of specialized training to help them understand the dynamics of human relationships and to help you understand your situation better. When you go for counseling, it’s a partnership relationship. It’s important that you feel comfortable with your counselor’s approach and that you trust them. Without that trust, it’s hard to undergo the process, putting in the work that takes time before you see its fruit. This therapeutic alliance is important for getting the most out of your sessions. Couples counseling addresses a wide range of issues, but one of the important things is to come with the willingness to change and grow. Being open to the counseling process helps you receive what your counselor has for you, whether it’s encouragement and pointing out your strengths as a couple or highlighting unhealthy patterns of behavior. Your counselor wants to help you, [...]

Comments Off

“I Am Angry!” What Your Anger Is Saying, and How to Deal with It

“I Am Angry!” What Your Anger Is Saying, and How to Deal with It

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2025-07-10T07:38:56+00:00July 10th, 2025|Anger Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Is it such a bad thing for you to feel or get angry? Anger is a powerful emotion that often doesn’t receive the appreciation it deserves. One important reason for this is that the circumstances that typically trigger anger and the ways anger is expressed were not proportionate. It’s not pleasant to revisit the reasons we got angry or the ways we reacted. These negative associations become confused with anger itself. Instead of lumping anger and these negative experiences together, there may be value in recognizing how anger can be helpful and becoming acquainted with the healthy ways anger can be expressed. These steps can help you come to terms with your anger and improve various facets of your life, including your ability to regulate emotions and address your relationships with others. Anger – Yay or Nay? When you think about anger, do you ever think of it as something that the Lord may have given you for a purpose? The sum of your life experiences may lead you to say “No” and feel entirely justified in saying so. Frankly, Scripture says a lot about anger, and most of it is cautionary. Whenever human anger is mentioned, it’s usually a warning that it shouldn’t be indulged. One poignant example of this is from James, which reads, Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God – James 1:19-20, ESV Human anger is placed in stark contrast to a life that does right by God and with others. The idea is to avoid anger altogether, right? It’s possible to take it this way, but that leaves you with an awkward silence when you encounter various Bible passages about God’s [...]

Comments Off

Unrealistic Expectations of People with Depression

Unrealistic Expectations of People with Depression

Amanda Osowski, Kate Motaung2025-07-01T07:50:25+00:00July 1st, 2025|Depression, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Depression is often complex and confusing. It can be challenging to identify, and not everyone knows how to cope with it, whether it is in themselves, a loved one, or an employee. People dealing with depression often do not realize that they are depressed or else cannot easily articulate their experiences to others, which can leave a lot of space for misunderstanding. It is common to have unrealistic expectations of people with depression, but it is possible to correct these expectations by learning about depression and how to approach those who are struggling with it. Depression in All Its Forms Depression appears in various forms and for many different reasons. While it can be a component of other mental or physical illnesses, such as mood disorders or chronic diagnoses, sometimes it can be either related to seasons or for seemingly no reason at all. Some people feel mild depression at certain times of the year, month, or day. In those cases, depression is linked to the seasons, weather, or something happening inside a person’s body. Other times, a person can find themselves struggling with low energy and no interest in life, with little cause as to why they are experiencing depression. If it is connected to something broader or unseen, it is not always simple to understand or cope with. It is important to keep in mind that depression is real, it is common, and it exists on a complicated spectrum. Some depression arises seemingly out of nowhere and is easy to cope with, while other depression is debilitating and life-changing, crippling a person and causing them to lose all interest and hope in life. Almost all depression is treatable with a combination of medication, therapy, diet, exercise, and life changes. However, sometimes it’s necessary to treat the surrounding [...]

Comments Off

Sleep Anxiety: Signs and Treatment

Sleep Anxiety: Signs and Treatment

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2025-06-26T08:44:05+00:00June 26th, 2025|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

One of the things we have in common is that we all need to step back from whatever is happening in our lives, close our eyes, and become lost in sleep. We all need to sleep, and being able to sleep despite turmoil in our lives is a gift the Lord gives us. That’s why David can say, I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear though tens of thousands assail me on every side – Psalm 3:5-6, NIV When we sleep, it allows us to recharge ourselves and maintain our well-being physically, spiritually, and mentally. Amid all this, however, is the reality of sleep anxiety. Sleep anxiety, which is sometimes called sleep-related anxiety, is a condition that disrupts a person’s ability to fall asleep, stay asleep, or get restful and quality sleep. Many people struggle with this condition, which is rooted in persistent worries, fear, and nervousness around sleep. Causes of Sleep Anxiety Sleep is a necessary part of our lives. When you don’t get enough sleep, it affects how you react to others and your capacity to engage in creative thinking. It even impacts how you feel about yourself and the world around you. As necessary as sleep is, it can be disrupted in several ways, and different factors can contribute to sleep anxiety. One of the factors that can lead to sleep anxiety is when you’re experiencing stress and feel overwhelmed by aspects of your life. If you’re undergoing significant life changes, or you’re facing a lot of work pressures, or if there’s relational or other conflict you’re dealing with in your life, that can all heighten your levels of anxiety, affecting your sleep negatively. If you have an anxiety disorder like social anxiety, that too puts [...]

Comments Off

Preventing Generational Attachment Issues from Affecting Your Kids

Preventing Generational Attachment Issues from Affecting Your Kids

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-06-21T06:35:16+00:00June 23rd, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Sometimes, ingrained habits from our past can unknowingly affect how we parent and influence the emotional development of our children in ways we might not even realize. This is often the case with negative attachment issues, which are usually repeated patterns that quietly shape the emotional landscape of our families. Perhaps you’ve already noticed your child’s hesitation to connect with others, or maybe how they act out when they feel scared or uncertain. As a parent, you might even catch yourself repeating the same emotional patterns that you experienced growing up and wonder why you struggle to connect in certain ways with your child. If these things sound familiar, it might be a sign of generational attachment issues that can affect both you and your kids. Unresolved attachment issues are more than just a set of behaviors; they are deeply ingrained emotional patterns that begin in childhood. When these issues are ignored, they can have long-lasting effects, not only on us but on our children as well. The good news is that with awareness and intentional effort, these cycles can be broken. What are attachment issues, and how do they develop? Most of these issues usually start in someone’s childhood. They’re rooted in the ways children bond with their adults in their early lives. For example, you might have experienced a parent who was there for you some days, but distant or distracted on others. As a result, you grew up uncertain about whether or not you could trust others. If you didn’t have a consistent, secure emotional foundation, you might struggle with forming similar bonds with your children. This inconsistency sometimes leads to approval seeking and a constant cry for reassurance (called anxious attachment). Alternatively, you could withdraw from emotional closeness (called avoidant attachment). There are also cases [...]

Comments Off

12 Next

Kate Motaung

About Kate Motaung

CONTACT INFO

Rockwall Christian Counseling

ABOUT US