Kate Motaung, Rockwall Christian Counseling

About Kate Motaung

Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging. Kate is also the host of Five Minute Friday, an online writing community that equips and encourages Christian writers, and the owner of Refine Services, a company that offers editing services. She and her South African husband have three young adult children and currently live in West Michigan. Find Kate’s books at katemotaung.com/books.

How Do I Know If My Struggle Stems from a Traumatic Experience?

How Do I Know If My Struggle Stems from a Traumatic Experience?

Joel Thomas, Kate Motaung2026-01-03T06:28:26+00:00January 5th, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

When a person undergoes a traumatic experience, it can sometimes be minimized, depending on how and when the experience took place, how old the person is, or even their natural wiring and personality. However, there are some ways to identify if your struggles might be rooted in trauma. One way is to look at your everyday life in three categories: physical, emotional, and mental. We’ll look more in-depth at how your responses in body and routine, feelings and emotional reactions, and thoughts and patterns may be clues to how you’re really doing. Physical Clues of a Traumatic Experience Physical clues can include anything from practical, everyday life and habits to your physical body. First, let’s explore your everyday habits and routines. If you’re struggling with any of the basics of human existence (food, sleep, moving your body, feeling less than yourself), these alone won’t necessarily tell you that your body is responding to a traumatic experience. But it’s worth noting which of these are out of whack with what you’d describe as your normal experience. For example, if you’ve found that sleep isn’t something you typically struggle with, yet it’s been a weekly or every-other-day struggle since you went through something scary, hard, or unexpected that caused you trauma, add it to your physical record. You can do this by jotting things down on a Post-it note, keeping a journal of your physical health, or just making a note in your phone. It’s a good idea to record the sleepless patterns, however, so that you can give more details to your doctor if you decide to investigate further. Another physical cue that may go unchecked is your appetite. It’s easy to overlook a weight change when we’re stressed or too busy to take notice. However, pay attention to your [...]

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How to Forgive: Dealing with Toxic and Dysfunctional Family Members

How to Forgive: Dealing with Toxic and Dysfunctional Family Members

Joseph Bennett, Kate Motaung2026-01-03T06:22:48+00:00January 5th, 2026|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There aren’t any relationships quite like the relationship you have with your family. You can have “found family,” the people you gather around yourself as you make your way through life, and those relationships can be influential and life-changing. Your family, however, is that group of people you didn’t choose to be connected to, and maybe you wouldn’t ever pick them if you had the opportunity. However, it came about, family is a tie that binds. Putting it like that almost makes it seem as though families are more trouble than they’re worth, and more likely to be troublesome than not. Families are the first community we find ourselves part of, and they can be an amazing community of nurture and learning. These communities, like any other community, can be beautiful, but they can also be dysfunctional. What do you do when your family is toxic or dysfunctional? Various Ways Families May Be Dysfunctional When one or more people come together for a common cause, the door is open to issues such as unbalanced power dynamics, unhealthy communication, conflict, and personality clashes. There are different ways for a family to be dysfunctional, and each family can manifest dysfunction in its own unique way. Some common patterns of dysfunction in families include the following: Emotional dysfunction This includes issues such as emotional abuse, neglect, and placing unrealistic expectations upon family members. Abuse can take the form of belittling humor, emotional manipulation, and verbal aggression. Ignoring or being dismissive of family members’ needs is emotional neglect. Families are also spaces where excessive pressure to succeed is often placed on people. Communication breakdown Communication is the lifeblood of a relationship, and there are various ways it can break down. Dysfunction might take the form of passive-aggressive behavior, being overly critical of one [...]

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What to Do with Childhood Emotional Neglect as an Adult

What to Do with Childhood Emotional Neglect as an Adult

Amanda Osowski, Kate Motaung2026-01-02T07:27:04+00:00January 2nd, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

A common misconception is that the things we experienced as children can affect us as adults. However, that is exactly the case for so many. From a child’s perspective, neglect does not always feel harmful when it is happening, and they might not show signs of being affected by their environment. Neglect does not leave literal scars, but it shapes our belief systems. It is only decades later that childhood emotional neglect begins affecting us, leaving us unsure of what to do about it. Latchkey Love In the 1970s and ’80s, a new term emerged to describe many children of the generation. “Latchkey kids” were children as young as eight or nine, whose hard-working parents entrusted them with the front door key on a chain around their necks. The parents would often leave for work before their children started school and return from work late in the evening. Latchkey kids would sometimes make their breakfast, go to school alone or with siblings, and return to an empty house after school. This lifestyle might have been by necessity rather than choice, but the key around each little neck was a symbol of both independence and possible emotional neglect. The times might have changed, and schools might require a lot more involvement from parents now, but that does not mean kids born in later generations did not experience emotional neglect. Latchkey kids are, in a way, the perfect example of emotional neglect because of how normalized neglect often is. When you are a child, you have a limited frame of reference for what is normal. We grow up believing that our family system is common to those around us, and we typically do not question it. It is only as you age that you start to realize that other families did or do things differently, and that maybe things at home are not quite right. Where abuse [...]

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How Neurodivergent People Navigate Workplace Challenges with Faith

How Neurodivergent People Navigate Workplace Challenges with Faith

Maria Yanez, Kate Motaung2026-01-02T07:18:07+00:00January 2nd, 2026|ADHD/ADD, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Featured, Individual Counseling, Professional Development|

Today’s workplace presents a complex maze of expectations that can feel overwhelming for anyone. Neurodivergent people often find it’s like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. They experience tension between adapting to conventional work environments and navigating the way God designed their mind. This tension, in turn, creates an internal battle that extends beyond daily performance standards. There is a deeper cultural message regarding success and value, reflected in this struggle. This issue goes beyond workplace accommodations or learning to mask any differences. It shines a light on the depth of how neurodivergent people navigate a world that wasn’t designed with their minds in consideration. Within this challenge, there is an opportunity to discover how God’s intentional design can flourish, regardless of the environment and its resistance to difference. This journey will require practical strategies and a deep understanding of personal worth that will go beyond workplace validation. It will also require intentional examination into the true abilities of the neurodivergent person. I will give thanks to You, because I am awesomely and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well. – Psalm 139:14, NASB Understanding the Workplace Disconnect for Neurodivergent People Most traditional workplaces operate on assumptions that don’t align with the processing of information, time management, or social expectations for neurodivergent minds. Office environments that are open, consistent meetings, and unspoken societal rules that are expected create a view where success depends on being what is considered normal. It is not focused on competence or contribution. This disconnect results in a daily exhaustion that other colleagues would not witness or understand. The pressure to conform leads to an impossible situation where strength becomes the ability to suppress natural thinking patterns. This may present itself in situations, such as [...]

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What Parental Codependency Looks Like and How It Damages Family Relationships

What Parental Codependency Looks Like and How It Damages Family Relationships

Dr. Barbara Orticelli, Kate Motaung2025-12-19T07:17:53+00:00December 19th, 2025|Codependency, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

No family is perfect, though some families try their best to be seen that way. Many of the families who seem healthy and happy on the outside secretly struggle with toxic dynamics caused by parental codependency. Parents don’t always know when they have fostered codependency with their children, and few families with these issues would be willing to take accountability and make changes. It is possible to heal an unhealthy family dynamic, though, and it’s never too late. What Parental Codependency Looks Like Many families normalize certain behaviors to the point that they don’t feel strange or negative. It is only years later, as children start growing up and developing their own identities and values, that the cracks begin to show. Codependency is an unhealthy relationship dynamic that requires one party to stifle their emotions and preferences so that they can remain in the relationship and avoid abandonment. In the context of parental codependency, parents become overly reliant on their kids to give them a sense of identity, purpose, and fulfillment of their emotional needs. This leads to a host of unhealthy behaviors like excessive strictness, toxic boundaries, fear of abandonment, and a lot of manipulation and guilt-tripping. It may take years or decades for children to realize that they’ve been part of a codependent relationship with one or both parents and sometimes siblings. When they do recognize the issue, it can be difficult to confront the situation because most codependent parents struggle with direct communication. Many become defensive when they feel as if they are being accused of certain behaviors. They would rather turn the conversation back on their child than take responsibility for their actions. You might have grown up in a codependent family if your parents did any of the following things or raised you with [...]

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What Your ADHD Friends Want You to Know

What Your ADHD Friends Want You to Know

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2025-12-12T06:06:50+00:00December 12th, 2025|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

A surprising number of people of all ages are undiagnosed with ADHD. This means that, whether you know it or not, you probably have friends and family members who are neurodivergent. People with ADHD often struggle with time management, memory, prioritizing tasks, being impulsive, and being unfocused or easily distracted. When you don’t understand why your friend is acting in these ways, it can cause a rift in the relationship. It takes time, patience, and education to learn how to cope with ADHD. People with the disorder need compassionate friends who will stand by them through the ups and downs of dealing with being neurodivergent. Here are some things that your friends with ADHD might want you to know. They aren’t lazy If you have ever wondered why your friend’s house is always a mess, or why their personal hygiene leaves a lot to be desired, it could be because ADHD makes everyday tasks feel overwhelming. Your neurotypical brain can look around a messy room and conceptualize a series of tasks that can be done. You can easily say that first, the clutter needs to be cleared from the surfaces, and then, the floors need to be swept and mopped. However, the ADHD brain cannot process each of these steps in order. A simple set of tasks for you is an overwhelming obstacle for your neurodivergent friend. What you might not know is that your ADHD friend is embarrassed or ashamed of the state of their house, car, or hygiene. They can’t help feeling overwhelmed by all of the tasks they have to do, easy or unintimidating tasks for neurotypical people. They might appreciate a friend who comes alongside them and helps them develop a simple routine for housework or hygiene. Helping them in this way could be a [...]

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Getting Therapy for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Getting Therapy for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Amanda Osowski, Kate Motaung2025-12-04T07:07:16+00:00December 4th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Our bodies are designed and function in an amazing way. They help us to adapt to a wide range of situations and experiences, and we can operate even under hostile conditions. This means that we are quite resilient and can cope with enormous pressures. However, being resilient is not the same thing as being invincible. Our bodies and minds do take strain and can be overwhelmed in their ability to cope well. Many life circumstances can affect a person’s well-being, and some of these can significantly diminish a person’s enjoyment of life. Not only that, but their ability to perform daily functions can be significantly hampered by these experiences. One way that this happens is the result of post-traumatic stress disorder. What is post-traumatic stress disorder? It may not be a given in every situation, but after a person has witnessed or experienced a traumatic event, they could find themselves struggling with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Post-traumatic stress disorder is a type of anxiety disorder that can occur after a deeply threatening or scary event. Even if you didn’t directly experience it, the shock of what happened can make it hard for you to continue living a normal life. PTSD is a mental health condition that can affect a person’s mental, physical, social, and spiritual well-being, and if it is severe enough, it can interfere with their ability to function well in daily life. PTSD can affect anyone, regardless of their age, gender, or cultural background. The good news is that it can be treated with psychotherapy and medications. It is not always the case that when a person experiences a traumatic event, they will develop PTSD. Experiencing war, a natural disaster, a motor vehicle accident, terrorism, violent crime, or other similar events may lead to PTSD, but it is [...]

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Walking With a Loved One Through Delayed Grief

Walking With a Loved One Through Delayed Grief

Joel Thomas, Kate Motaung2025-12-03T06:03:11+00:00December 3rd, 2025|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

Grief is a strange and often unpredictable thing. Grief may set in soon after you experience the loss of a loved one, leading you into a maze of emotions and thoughts about your loved one and what the loss means. In some instances, grief sets in before the loss takes place, and that’s called anticipatory grief. For various reasons, grief may also get delayed, only setting in weeks, months, or perhaps even years after the loss occurs. Grappling with Delayed Grief Delayed grief, which is also sometimes referred to as delayed bereavement or as postponed grief, is when the onset of the process of grief happens later and doesn’t take place or coincide with the loss itself. Delayed grief, when it eventually surfaces, is often overwhelming and intense. The flood of thoughts, emotions, and memories that had been held back burst the dam and come flooding in, making it an intense experience. Often, because of the myriad thoughts, emotions, and experiences that haven’t been processed, when delayed grief sets in, those unprocessed emotions that have accumulated over time may produce a disproportionate reaction. One’s reaction to the loss may seem disproportionate, and this can lead to distress and a sense of confusion for the bereaved and the people around them. Delayed grief has much the same symptoms as other forms of grief, and these include physical manifestations like disrupted sleep patterns, headaches, and physical pain, and changes in appetite. What could serve as a trigger for delayed grief surfacing are things such as anniversaries, milestones, and other significant dates that could serve as reminders of a loved one and of the loss. If a person experiences similar life events that mirror the circumstances in which the loss occurred, that can also trigger the delayed grief to manifest. Going through significant [...]

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The Importance of Godly Female Friendships

The Importance of Godly Female Friendships

Maria Yanez, Kate Motaung2025-11-25T07:19:48+00:00November 25th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Women’s Issues|

If you’re a woman, you’ve probably grown up watching examples of tightly bonded female friendships on television. These fictitious bonded pairs make having a bestie look appealing. You relax on your sofa watching Monica and Rachel unequivocally support each other, even through bizarre circumstances, and read the story of Anne Shirley and Diana Barry, whose bond spanned a lifetime. You’ve probably longed for a friendship like this, but finding a friend who will be with you through thick and thin, in good times and bad, isn’t as easy as it is on a television screen or in the pages of a book. As Christians, we shouldn’t be looking to these secular examples of friendship anyway, right? We should be looking for something different from our friendships than helping move a sofa up some stairs or forgiving someone when they accidentally get you drunk off currant wine. But as members of society, we have been conditioned to think that this cultural definition of friendship is the goal. We’ve been told that these examples are the ultimate showcase of true friendship. And while these examples of friendships are funny and heartwarming, a true godly friendship not only warms your heart but draws you closer to the keeper of your heart, God. Ruth and Naomi (Ruth 1-4) In the story of Ruth and Naomi, Ruth didn’t just stick it out with Naomi because it was convenient. No, she left behind everything familiar (homeland, security, and her culture) to walk with Naomi into the unknown. That’s not small talk over a frappe, but is self-sacrificing, ride or die loyalty that was rooted in faith in God. Their friendship was not just an emotional bond, but love in action. Ruth humbly gleaned the fields to provide for Naomi, showing her devotion to her through [...]

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4 Signs Your Husband May Be Having an Affair

4 Signs Your Husband May Be Having an Affair

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-11-22T07:47:11+00:00November 24th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Infidelity in marriage can have devastating consequences for both spouses in the marriage. If you suspect that your husband may be having an affair, there are signs to look for. By paying attention to their behaviors, you may be able to stop an affair from happening and devastating your marriage. 4 Signs Your Husband May Be Having an Affair If you see one of these suggested behaviors below, it’s essential to say something and express your concerns to prevent your suspicions from becoming a reality. Please don’t wait until it’s too late. Here are four signs your husband may be having an affair. Secretive Texts If your husband is texting secretly or becoming more possessive about his phone or whereabouts, he may be having an affair. Another sign your husband may be keeping secrets about whom he’s texting is if notifications do not pop up on this phone. If your husband once had notifications that would pop up and you could see who texted him, but now you can’t, that may be a sign that he doesn’t want you to know those to whom he’s talking. If you find this is the case, ask him point-blank to whom he’s talking. If he is elusive or you suspect he’s lying, ask to see his phone. Check any suspicious numbers or names that seem foreign to you. While there should be trust in every relationship, if you suspect the person is acting differently than usual, it may be best to ask the question and see how they respond. Couples who have been together a long time know when the other person is lying. If the husband does not let you see the phone, this will confirm suspicions that something is up, and he is hiding something. Give them consequences for their actions [...]

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