Kate Motaung

About Kate Motaung

Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging. Kate is also the host of Five Minute Friday, an online writing community that equips and encourages Christian writers, and the owner of Refine Services, a company that offers editing services. She and her South African husband have three young adult children and currently live in West Michigan. Find Kate’s books at katemotaung.com/books.

Effective Ways of Dealing with Loneliness

, 2025-09-13T06:56:01+00:00September 15th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

Our nature as beings made in God’s image means that we have within us a deep desire and need to be connected to others, as modeled in the relationship nature of the Holy Trinity. We yearn for relationships and a sense of connectedness to God and others, but we don’t always feel this when we need it. The American professor, advocate for world peace, political journalist, and author Norman Cousins is quoted as saying, “The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness.” Loneliness is a problem that affects people from all walks of life, though some are more prone to it than others. In 2023, the US Attorney General went as far as calling loneliness a public health epidemic, and it’s not hard to understand why, as more research shows its connection to mental health issues. Where God created us to be seen, known, and understood, loneliness is the exact opposite. Loneliness is that sense of emotional isolation and disconnection; it’s painful and unpleasant, and there are healthy as well as unhealthy ways to try and address it. The Problem with Loneliness We all feel lonely at points in our lives. Perhaps you’ve felt it on that first day at school, or other subsequent first days as the years rolled by. Loneliness can set in when a person lacks social connections or relationships. The strange thing about loneliness is that it can set in even when one has those connections or relationships, giving rise to the sentiment of feeling all alone in a crowded room. Loneliness is complex, but at the root, it’s about feeling emotionally disconnected from other people. That’s why it can set in whether you have social connections or not. You can be in relationship with other people, but if you [...]

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Protecting Your Mental Health: For Teens

, 2025-09-09T10:51:03+00:00September 9th, 2025|Christian Counseling For Teens, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Teens face many challenges and obstacles that their parents never faced. Your thoughts, emotions, and behavior impact your well-being as a teenager. How you react to others or perceive the world around you can influence your mental health. Good mental health for teens does not mean you will never face any opposition; it simply means you are equipped with coping mechanisms and emotional resilience to carry on despite challenges. Why Their Mental Health is Critical Good mental health for teens is critical for their overall well-being. They must be able to process emotions, flip negative thoughts, adopt healthy habits, and be productive at home, school, church, and community. If they choose Christian counseling as a resource for learning coping skills, you can use these strategies for the rest of their lives when they feel overwhelmed. Tips to Protect Your Mental Health: For Teens Protecting your mental health should be a priority. Although parents try their hardest to help, as a teen, you need to practice healthy habits and learn how to cope physically, mentally, and emotionally. Your mental, emotional, and physical health are all connected. For example, if you feel depressed, you may become fatigued and have unexplained body aches or headaches. If you are chronically ill, you may be more susceptible to depression and anxiety. The following list includes several tips to protect your mental health. Choose a few to try, and skip the ones that don’t fit in with your life. Give yourself a few weeks to develop the habit and see an impact on your mental health. If you seek counseling, share your new healthy habits with your counselor, so they know what worked and what you haven’t tried yet. Carve out me-time School, sports, extracurricular activities, church, chores, family time, the list can seem endless. [...]

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How Your Upbringing Affects Your First Year of Marriage: Dividing Household Responsibilities

, 2025-09-05T07:04:40+00:00September 5th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Marriage is a beautiful journey filled with joy, love, and growth, but it also comes with its share of challenges, especially managing household responsibilities. For newlyweds, disagreements over chores can quickly overshadow the excitement of starting their life together. What these couples often overlook is that their differing expectations are not just about dishes and dusting – they are rooted in the ways they were raised. Understanding how upbringing shapes our views on household roles and learning to adjust to these differences in our spouse are crucial steps toward building a harmonious marriage and finally tackling the “to-do list.” Katie and Carson: A Case Study in Marital Expectations Katie and Carson were a young couple who had been happily married for three months. They had moved into a cozy new apartment, sparsely furnished and filled with thrifted items and hand-me-downs. Because neither of them had ever lived alone, neither had learned how to efficiently maintain a home. Soon, the dirty dishes were piled up in the sink, and the trash cans overflowed. Their love nest had turned into a pigsty, and neither was willing to do the household chores. Katie came from a single-dad household where her father had done most of the housework. Carson grew up in a house that had more traditional gender roles, where his mother took care of all the household responsibilities while his dad supported the family financially. Katie and Carson had opposite viewpoints as to who should be taking care of the household chores. Since Carson worked a full-time job, he felt that Katie should take on most of the household chores. Katie felt that the household chores should be equally shared, even though she did not contribute financially to the household. The Impact of Upbringing on Marriage Expectations The way we are raised [...]

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7 Signs of Unresolved Trauma in Men

, 2025-09-02T09:54:05+00:00September 2nd, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Men’s Issues, Trauma|

The vast majority of people will have to navigate trauma at some point in their lives, if not in themselves, then with their loved ones. Unresolved trauma lies unseen in a person, usually only becoming apparent in our adult lives as we enter serious relationships. Trauma manifests uniquely in everyone. However, some common signs of trauma can be specific to gender. Whether it is in the way they handle their emotions or in the way that they have been affected by toxic masculinity, unresolved trauma is often at the root of behavioral problems that affect and damage men’s relationships. If we want to have healthy and intimate relationships, we might have to begin addressing the unresolved trauma in our lives. Old Wounds Some traumas are ongoing and complex, causing much damage and leaving noticeable marks on a person. However, some events barely even register as traumatic. It is only later in life, when issues pop up, that we might realize we were deeply affected by trauma. The common saying that ‘time heals all wounds’ is untrue; all that time does is cover the memory of the trauma. When a person experiences trauma, especially if it is ongoing trauma, they build beliefs around the traumatic events. For example, a child who is frequently left alone or ignored will begin to believe that they are unworthy of anyone’s attention and care. When a person doesn’t quite understand why they are being treated a certain way, they tend to fill in the blanks. Sometimes they do this in the most hurtful of ways, coming to the bleakest conclusions about themselves. Seven Signs of Unresolved Trauma in Men When you peel back the layers, at the core of any trauma is the feeling of being unsafe. Men and boys in America are conditioned and [...]

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10 Things to Know about Processing Trauma 

, 2025-08-30T08:59:44+00:00September 1st, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Trauma is not a new concept; it's simply a recent buzzword for what we experience. History tells us that almost every, if not every, generation has its share of collective trauma to experience. Besides the chaos happening in the world around us, many of us are facing deeply personal issues that affect every aspect of our lives. What do we do about our trauma, and how do we cope when it feels like life is coming at us from every angle? Thankfully, thousands of people have walked the trauma-paved paths before us and can speak to the situations we are facing. Processing trauma is not easy, but it is possible when we have guidance and support. What You Need to Know about Processing Trauma We are traumatized when we witness or experience something that leaves us emotionally disturbed, overwhelmed, or fearing for our safety. It is a feeling or experience that you or someone you love has gone through something with an inability to overcome it. These events or experiences may be ongoing, or they may have happened only once, even if it was decades ago. Unlike the old saying, time doesn’t automatically heal wounds, and we might feel as if our entire lives have crumbled because of a single experience. Trauma impacts the way we think about the world. It shapes what we feel about ourselves and other people. Some examples include a person who has supported a family member with addiction will likely have trust issues because they were lied to, or a woman who was assaulted by a man in power will naturally avoid similar men. While everyone responds to and deals with trauma in their unique way, there are familiar habits, mindsets, and tendencies that we can address as we learn to process trauma. It’s [...]

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Affirmations for Those Coping With PTSD

, 2025-08-30T08:51:49+00:00September 1st, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Coping with PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) is a process of ups and downs, steps forward to a healthier mind, and steps backward to unhealthy habits. We are often obstacles to ourselves, but that doesn’t have to be the case. We can help ourselves by repeating affirmations and exercises that counter our trauma as often as we need to. Some Affirmations for People Who Are Coping with PTSD I am not my trauma You can live with certain memories for so long that they start to feel like old friends. Even traumatic experiences become familiar because you spend so much time reminiscing, regretting, and reliving them in your head. This is the core of PTSD; it is ghosts of a hurtful, violent, or damaging past haunting our present. They bring back all of the emotions and memories attached to those events. The truth is that, however real and fresh the trauma feels, it is in the past. It is no longer a part of you. You might be forever changed by those events, but you are moving forward, and every day there is distance between you and them. You still have a future. My abilities extend beyond past trauma Abuse can take away our peace of mind, our innocence, and our trust in people. Whatever damaging experience you went through, though, you are still here and enduring. You can heal, forgive, and learn to trust again. As grief counseling teaches, when a tree is cut down, we must mourn its loss. However, we can also create a beautiful garden around its stump and keep it as a memory of what it once was. Trauma might have taken many things from you, but there is still much more for you to discover and enjoy. Memories need not cause so much pain [...]

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What Does It Mean to Have Abandonment Issues In Relationships?

, 2025-08-12T08:54:31+00:00August 12th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The term abandonment issues in relationships refers to an irrational fear of being deserted or rejected by those closest to you. People with abandonment issues have a hard time trusting others or believing that their partner’s feelings are sincere. This can lead to a fear of intimacy and seeing problems where none exist. Reasons People Develop Abandonment Issues In Relationships Abandonment issues in relationships most often stem from family instability growing up. Having a primary caregiver who was unpredictable and inconsistent, for example, or being severely traumatized by physical or emotional neglect or abuse. They can, however, also be rooted in attachment injuries that happen later in life, such as an unexpected divorce or breakup, being betrayed by a partner, or the death of a loved one. Common Characteristics Of People With Abandonment Issues Insecurity You feel needy and insecure, never knowing what to expect, seek constant validation and reassurance that your partner really loves you and is not going to leave you and look for signs that he or she does not. Fear of intimacy You may avoid getting too close to another person or becoming fully committed to a relationship because you associate intimacy with eventual pain and loss. Clinginess On the flip side, you may be clingy, overly attached to your partner, dependent on him or her to meet all your needs, and afraid of any distance between you. You try to micromanage every detail of your relationship and use subtle forms of emotional manipulation to make life feel safe and predictable, which it never does. Trust Issues You don’t believe anyone is reliable, have trouble trusting other people’s commitment and intentions, and are convinced everyone will eventually leave you. Even when you are in a loving, supportive relationship, you still struggle with jealousy and suspicion, overthink [...]

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The Truth about Burnout and PTSD 

, 2025-08-08T07:33:03+00:00August 8th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

As of 2025, an estimated 66% of the American workforce is experiencing burnout in their careers. According to recent information, women are more likely to experience burnout than men, and the average person experiences some kind of burnout before the age of twenty-five. Due to its recent popularity, even the term “burnout” has become a buzzword word which might have caused it to lose meaning. So, what is burnout? How do you know if you are experiencing it, and what can be done about it? The Truth about Burnout Burnout is often used as a sanitized description of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD is a mental health condition caused by being exposed to traumas like war, genocide, or a global disaster. However, people also experience PTSD from experiencing far more common traumas like crippling workloads, demanding schedules, insurmountable debt, and toxic home or work environments. Few people will readily accept that what they are experiencing is PTSD, but often that is the best description of their mental health state. It starts to make sense once you realize that you are pouring all of your time, energy, and emotional resources into your jobs, schools, or difficult relationships. Sometimes, even when you are doing more enjoyable things like hobbies and socializing, you might get to the point where you are running on empty. However, you do not have to stay there, but it does take intentionality. Identification It’s hard to find a balance when it feels like life is crashing down, and that you are the only thing that keeps disaster at bay. Living under these kinds of stressful conditions forces your nervous system into survival mode. Living in this state can cause issues that can be harmful to us. It can get to the point where you no longer experience [...]

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Faith, Kids, and Screens: Protecting Kids’ Mental Health

, 2025-08-07T06:55:56+00:00August 7th, 2025|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

Do you have a little one nearby who’s staring at a screen? Don’t think you’re alone in feeling overwhelmed by the digital world and its effect on our children. As parents, we look around and wonder how we got here, where tablets have become babysitters and phones are now constant companions for our children. We are not left without wisdom to protect kids’ mental health. His word holds the answers we need. Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he grows older, he will not abandon it. – Proverbs 22:6, NASB There is no doubt that we’re raising children in a time unlike any other. Kids are growing up as digital natives, surrounded by screens from the moment they can focus their eyes. Technology brings wonderful opportunities for learning and connection, but it also brings challenges. Screen use affects kids’ mental health, emotional development, and spiritual growth in various ways we are just beginning to understand. Understanding the Screen Struggle When we look at the screen generation, we can become overwhelmed. Studies have shown that children are spending more than two hours a day on recreational screen time and scoring lower on thinking and language tests at school. With this heavy screen exposure comes an increased rate of anxiety, depression, and attention difficulties. These are the mental health issues that concern every parent who seeks to raise healthy children. As Christian parents, we understand that our children are more than just developing brains  –  they are eternal souls created in God’s image. Spending hours each day in a virtual world can cause something profound to happen in their inner life. The repeated stimulation can make it difficult for them to sit quietly and listen for God’s voice. The speed at which entertainment is accessible [...]

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Do Toxic Couples Know They’re Toxic?

, 2025-08-01T07:35:06+00:00August 1st, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Having healthy self-awareness can help you in many life situations. If you can tell that you’re getting angry, for example, you can remove yourself from the situation or otherwise take steps to manage your anger appropriately. Similarly, if you know your limits of patience, wisdom, time, and capacity, that will help you prevent overextending or overcommitting yourself, which can lead to chronic stress and burnout. Just as self-awareness can help you in these ways, it can also help you in your relationships. Not all relationships are made equal, as some are healthy and can contribute to you becoming the best version of yourself, while others can break you down and diminish you and your well-being. Being aware of what type of relationship you’re in, or better yet, knowing what sort of relationships to avoid, can help protect you and your well-being. What are toxic couples? Romantic relationships come in all kinds of packages, but despite these differences, at the heart of every healthy relationship should be love, respect, and care for one another. Healthy relationships make for better well-being, as people find the support they need to pursue their goals, and their relationships aren’t a source of stress and constant conflict. Having people around you who care for you makes a huge difference in your life. Toxic couples are those who aren’t loving, respectful, or caring in the way they relate to one another and the posture they take toward each other. This can happen in big, obvious ways that are plain to see, but it can happen in small ways that are no less impactful in undermining the health of the relationship. The couple may be completely oblivious to themselves, but the relationship will nonetheless still be toxic. When soil, water, or air is toxic, what we mean [...]

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