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Overcoming Anger and Resentment in Marriage

Overcoming Anger and Resentment in Marriage

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-02-13T12:02:05+00:00February 12th, 2025|Anger Issues, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Resentment is a slow fade. It has the potential to creep into your marriage, drain out the love and leave you feeling bitter and angry toward your spouse. But, did you know that when you approach resentment correctly it can be a catalyst to address key relationship issues and solidify an even stronger marriage? Getting a Clear Understanding of Resentment in Marriage Defined by some dictionaries as a feeling of anger because you have been forced to accept something that you do not like, resentment in marriage happens when there is a buildup of negative feelings between your spouse and yourself. You may feel harmed, ignored, disappointed, deceived, or poorly treated. This feeling is toxic to any relationship, especially as one precious as a marriage, and will, over time, poison the mutual love, trust, and respect necessary for it to be successful. The hurt that you experience because your partner has purposefully or accidentally broken the agreements of your relationship is a broad but effective way to understand why resentment starts to form. Unmet expectations at various levels have an equally corrosive effect. Perhaps it is the manner you are treated, how you thought your marriage would mature, or the characteristics of the life you are building together. The hurt solidifies into disappointment, frustration, and anger toward your spouse. How Resentment in Marriage Starts Off Imagine your marriage relationship as a beautiful, exotic motorcar. Resplendent in design and function. You and your spouse love it and treasure it. While you are both out driving, a loose piece of gravel flicks up and nicks the glass on the windshield. That evening you look at it and see that it has left a chip but not much more. You decide that because he was behind the wheel when it happened, he should [...]

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Practical Coping Tips to Prepare a Single Mom for Childbirth

Practical Coping Tips to Prepare a Single Mom for Childbirth

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2025-02-07T05:48:19+00:00February 7th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Women’s Issues|

Gladys was elated when she discovered she was pregnant, and although she was a little scared of the impending childbirth, she’d be okay with the support of her loving partner, Greg. She never gave any thought to the possibility of being a single mom. Greg was her high school sweetheart, and although they were still in their early twenties, she had already envisioned herself spending the rest of her life with him. The pregnancy may have been unplanned and unexpected, but she was nonetheless excited to start a new phase in their relationship. The last thing Gladys expected was for Greg to suddenly turn around and announce that he was leaving her. He decided he didn’t want to be a part of the child’s life. The breakup hit her like a sudden storm, and she suddenly realized she was facing the prospect of childbirth with no partner, and no one close by to lean on. Gladys was raised in a traditional Christian family of generations of solidly married parents and grandparents who stayed married for decades. The concept of facing pregnancy and motherhood alone was foreign to her. Facing childbirth as a single mom was the most daunting challenge she had ever faced, and she realized she had no clue how to walk this path alone. Gladys’s Ray of Hope As sad and dejected as she was, as her belly grew somehow, Gladys knew she had to find the fortitude and tools to face this journey head-on. One thing she knew was that she needed to come out of her pit of sorrow and confide in someone. She hadn’t even told her family any of this. Then she remembered the friendly neighborhood shopkeeper, Emma, who lived just down the road. She remembered that she had lost her husband before [...]

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Dating Advice for Men: 5 Tips for Long-Distance Relationships

Dating Advice for Men: 5 Tips for Long-Distance Relationships

Jennifer Kooshian2025-02-04T06:00:41+00:00February 4th, 2025|Featured, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues|

Being in a relationship with someone brings a unique blend of blessings and challenges. These will vary depending on who you’re in the relationship with, the nature of your relationship, and the circumstances you’re in at the moment. At its core, however, relationships (whether short or long-distance relationships) are about two people with a bond who have committed themselves to each other, to love and support each other as well as work through challenges they may face.A long-distance relationship isn’t radically different from other relationships but being apart from the person you care about does bring certain challenges. Likewise, though, it also offers opportunities that may strengthen the relationship. A long-distance relationship has every chance of being as rich and fulfilling as any other kind of relationship, but it’s wise to know what you’re getting yourself into.Long-Distance Relationships and YouPeople come into a long-distance relationship in different ways. Some couples are in an in-person relationship for a while before circumstances shift, and one or both parties change locations while deciding to stay together. It could be a change for college, work, to take care of family, or for other reasons. The change could be for a short or long season, or the relationship may be periodically long-distance, like service members who deploy to duty.Other relationships start their life as a long-distance relationship. Sometimes this carries the anxiety of what it will be like to meet and interact in person, or if it’s an elaborate online scam after all. However your relationship began, there are some things to consider, including ways to make a long-distance relationship work.Making Long-Distance Relationships WorkLong-distance relationships will have their blessings, quirks, and challenges. Some things to consider as you go into such a relationship include:Do you do well with distance?Likely the most obvious thing to consider [...]

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Healthy Parenting Tips to Help You Raise Your Kid Well

Healthy Parenting Tips to Help You Raise Your Kid Well

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2025-01-25T04:02:17+00:00January 27th, 2025|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Having kids can be a beautiful challenge to take on. To be honest, it can be overwhelming, too. Being able to turn to others for wisdom can indeed be helpful, but you need to make sure that whatever wisdom you receive makes sense, really works, and fits in with who you are and what you desire for your children. Sometimes you can try things out, but if they aren’t working out, it’s okay to take a step back and try something new. Below are a few healthy parenting tips that you can try out to help you raise your kids well. You may be facing various or specific challenges with your kids, and that can affect the kind of help you need. Sometimes, making simple tweaks to what you’re already doing will do the trick; at other times, you’ll need a whole new approach. At other times, it may be prudent to seek professional help. Parenting Tips to Help You on the Way You know your kids better than anyone else, and one helpful pointer as you think about your parenting is to learn to trust your instincts more. Of course, our instincts need to get sharpened, and it always helps to be informed, but trust that the Lord gave you those kids for a reason. Yes, you’ll make mistakes as a parent, but you can learn from them and grow in your ability to parent well. Here are some healthy parenting tips you can implement to raise your kids well: Leading by example Parents sometimes fall into the trap of wanting their kids to do what they say, and not to imitate what they do. The reality is that kids learn by imitation, and so they will often pattern themselves after you and what they see you do. [...]

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Frequently Asked Questions About Mental Health Coaching

Frequently Asked Questions About Mental Health Coaching

Sandra Stein2025-01-22T05:57:40+00:00January 22nd, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

Mental health coaching is carried out by mental health coaches who are trained wellness professionals specializing in non-clinical mental health issues. They are dedicated to encouraging positive change that can help you achieve your self-determined well-being goals. Although mental health coaches are not qualified to do everything that licensed therapists do, they can help you develop greater self-awareness, clarify goals, manage your emotions, improve communication and relationship skills, challenge negative thinking patterns, reduce stress and anxiety, change the way you approach problems, and come up with strategies that use your unique strengths and talents to achieve personal objectives. What is the difference between a mental health coach and a therapist? Key differences between mental health coaches and therapists include: Credentials Mental health coaches are not qualified to diagnose mental health disorders or treat complex clinical problems such as depression or trauma-related issues. On the other hand, therapists have at minimum a Masters degree in their field and are licensed to do both. Hierarchy Mental health coaching involves a collaborative relationship in which you and your coach are equals. Conversely, therapy is like a doctor/patient relationship, in which you are consulting a specialist for treatment of your issue. Areas addressed: Therapists diagnose and treat complex mental health disorders such as depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or bipolar disorder. Mental health coaches, on the other hand, focus on helping you create positive changes in your life and improve your overall well-being through building healthy habits, addressing challenges in more effective ways, managing stress, and improving relationships and communication. Areas of focus Therapists dig into the past to help you understand and address what is at the root of your current challenges and bring about healing in the present. Mental health coaches focus on the present and what you want to accomplish [...]

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Art Therapy for OCD Help

Art Therapy for OCD Help

Stephanie Kramer2025-01-13T10:28:28+00:00January 13th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, OCD|

God’s creativity is evident in every aspect of our natural world. So, it’s no wonder that the creativity He instilled in us, His creation, can also be harnessed for healing. Art therapy taps into our God-given creativity, offering us a way to express our emotions and thoughts that might be too difficult to articulate through words alone. For those with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), using painting, drawing, or sculpture to visually represent and manage intrusive thoughts and compulsions can transform anxiety into something beautiful. What is art therapy? Art therapy might sound like something out of a fictional story where crayons cure all, but there’s a lot of science behind the concept. For those grappling with OCD, integrating art therapy can be both a creative outlet and a powerful therapeutic tool where compulsions turn into colorful creations. Therapeutically, art therapy complements traditional OCD treatments like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). By incorporating creative expression, individuals can explore and challenge their fears in a non-threatening way. Tips for Incorporating Art Therapy into OCD Treatment Use art therapy alongside CBT and ERP. Discuss your artistic creations with your therapist to integrate them into your broader treatment plan. Here are some ideas on how to get started. Start simple Begin with basic materials such as pencils and paper. Even simple sketches can be therapeutic and help you express complex emotions. Find a safe space Choose a quiet and comfortable place to create your art. This allows you to silence your inner critic and focus more on the process than on perfection. Create regularly Set aside time each week for art therapy. Consistency helps reinforce the therapeutic benefits and provides a regular outlet for expression. Use art as a reflection tool After creating, reflect on what the art represents [...]

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Understanding Procrastination: Triggers and Support

Understanding Procrastination: Triggers and Support

Joanna Kucherera2024-12-30T08:53:44+00:00December 30th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Personal Development, Procrastination, Professional Development|

Procrastination, a word we have heard countless times, is when we put off work or tasks that need to be done. Usually, we end up regretting it later because of the unfortunate consequences that come as a result. Most of us have experienced its unrelenting force and hold. It can be as seemingly small as not putting the freshly washed laundry away, or something as detrimental as missing a work or school deadline. Understanding Procrastination Part of learning to overcome anything is our ability to honestly look at ourselves and do an inventory of our habits and behaviors. When we do this, it allows us to come face to face with the real things that hold us back. It can be helpful to know the reasons people generally procrastinate and then consider which ones are true for you. This makes it easier to combat. In his book, Solving the Procrastination Puzzle, psychologist Tim Pschyl defines procrastination as “a purely visceral emotional reaction to something we don’t want to do.” This means that if you dislike the task at hand, you are more likely to put it off. There is a battle between your mind and emotions. The more averse the task, the less likely it will be done. Professor Pychyl believed each task we procrastinate is rooted in an aversion, and understanding those aversions is where our hope to overcome it lies. Below are a list of aversions and the strategies that can be employed to try and overcome them. Procrastination Triggers The task is boring. This is when the task at hand doesn’t offer any intellectual stimulation or creative inspiration. This could be due to the task being repetitive, monotonous, or too easy. Boredom hinders creativity and excitement for any task. Because a task is viewed as boring, [...]

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Healthy Healing Strategies for Trauma

Healthy Healing Strategies for Trauma

Logan Ashford, Kate Motaung2024-12-21T10:18:00+00:00December 16th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

In the basic definition, trauma is defined as a personal response to an event that is overwhelming physically, psychologically, emotionally, and mentally. Traumatic events happen at any age to any person, and they can be extremely stressful. The effects can be long-lasting but there is a way to heal. The causes may be common, but the effects are just as different as the person experiencing the event. This means that each person needs different healing strategies for trauma. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. – John 14:27, NIV Some strategies can help with healthy healing from the negative effects of trauma. Through proper therapy and counseling, a person can move toward living a life that is healthy and well-balanced. Causes of Trauma The many causes of trauma are not concerned with the event itself. Rather, the cause is about how a person responds to the traumatic event. That is why some people are affected by trauma when others who face the same event are not. Some of the most common causes of trauma in people are: Childhood neglect. Unstable home environment. Sexual abuse/assault. Medical trauma/severe illness. Violence. Grief. Domestic abuse. Bullying. Combat. Terrorism. Witnessing a harmful event. Natural disasters. Individuals who experience these events firsthand may react in a way that will have a long-lasting effect on them. Without proper counseling for trauma, a person can develop other conditions that affect their overall well-being. The Different Types of Trauma The form of trauma is not always the same between two individuals, even though the situation is the same. The type of trauma a person faces refers to the level of mental or physical [...]

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7 Fears About Getting Old and How to Fight Them

7 Fears About Getting Old and How to Fight Them

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2024-12-13T05:41:43+00:00December 13th, 2024|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Few things about getting old seem to redeem the decline in body and mind that accompanies the inevitable aging process. In our natural state, we resist the loss of youth in all kinds of ways; midlife crises, cosmetic procedures, and denying the fact that we’re not as we used to be. While most would acknowledge that there are benefits to getting older, such as wisdom and maturity gained through life experience, the idea of old age is generally feared in our Western culture. The Bible’s perspective on aging stands in stark contrast to how we often feel about getting old. Proverbs 16:31 reminds us that “gray hair is a glorious crown”; reflecting on the honor and gift it is to live a long life. While we don’t want to lose our lives, we want to drink from the fountain of eternal youth and not face old age! And though heaven promises wonderful things for our new bodies, God has designed us in a way that we need to graciously accept that “outwardly we are wasting away”, reassured by the truth that “inwardly we are being renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians 4:16, NIV). 7 Fears About Getting Old In order to get to the point where we can rejoice in this season, we often need to work through some fears about getting old. These include: The fear of aging and the realization of mortality This fear is a general fear of getting old, and the realization that we are mortal and will die one day. Most of the time, people live in denial of the reality of the progression of time and how it wears on our bodies and minds; we simply don’t think it will happen to us until the signs start to appear, and fear and horror [...]

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Complicated Grief: Coping With Grief When It Just Won’t Go Away

Complicated Grief: Coping With Grief When It Just Won’t Go Away

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2024-12-10T14:17:38+00:00December 9th, 2024|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

The bonds and connections we form with others are precious, helping to make our lives more fulfilling. You might have success, for example, but without others to celebrate it with, it can ring hollow. The depth, richness, and sheer joy that comes from our relationships with others is part of why losing loved ones is so hard. Losing them leaves a hole in our lives, forever altering whatever follows. When you encounter loss, the natural and healthy response to that loss is grief. Grieving is that process that allows us to make sense of what has happened, and to adjust our lives so that we can cope with the new reality. Grief, however, isn’t always straightforward for a variety of reasons. It’s possible to grieve in such a way that you severely disrupt your life through dysfunctional behaviors. What is complicated grief? Loss comes uniquely to us all. Loss will often come through bereavement, whether the death of that loved one was sudden and shocking, or after a prolonged illness. There are other forms of loss, like when a divorce happens, if you’re forced to move from your home, if a beloved family pet dies, or if a cherished dream falls apart. These and other forms of loss can all trigger the grief process. To understand complicated grief, it’s important to firstly get a grip on the fact that there is a sense in which all grief never quite goes away. You never quite ‘get over’ your loss, but you do find ways to cope with it and continue to live on beyond the loss. You experience feelings of loss, hurt, and sadness, and you may also experience anger, too. Grief is a process that will take you through a swathe of unpredictable emotions. Over time, the intensity of these [...]

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