Kate Motaung, Rockwall Christian Counseling

About Kate Motaung

Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging. Kate is also the host of Five Minute Friday, an online writing community that equips and encourages Christian writers, and the owner of Refine Services, a company that offers editing services. She and her South African husband have three young adult children and currently live in West Michigan. Find Kate’s books at katemotaung.com/books.

What is Infidelity? The Nature and Impact

What is Infidelity? The Nature and Impact

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:53:23+00:00November 13th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The best of relationships isn’t perfect. Even happy couples have their fair share of squabbles, miscommunication, or points of frustration. Of the many challenges to a relationship that a couple can encounter, infidelity is likely one of the more distressing. According to recent statistics, infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce. Around 60% of couples cite a partner’s unfaithfulness as a reason their marriage ended. Getting a handle on what infidelity is and why it affects a marriage so deeply will help couples navigate these tricky waters if they ever find themselves there. Marriage has boundaries. In our culture, relationships take a variety of shapes and are meant to meet different needs. Marriage is, at least from a Christian perspective, a monogamous relationship that brings a man and a woman into a lifelong commitment. This commitment and mutual love are a mirror of the love and respect shared between Jesus Christ and the Church. Marital faithfulness is a reminder and picture of the exclusive relationship Jesus has with His people (Ephesians 5:22-33). The reality of this is why, whenever God’s people decide to worship anything other than God, it is called spiritual adultery (1 John 2:15-17; James 4:4-5; Jeremiah 3:20). Our marriages give us a reference point and language for understanding what is happening when we worship something that isn’t the Creator. It marks the marriage relationship itself as a distinct relationship that’s meant to be exclusive. In this situation, when one party fails to fulfill the obligation of exclusivity, trust can be lost, and the marriage may be irretrievably broken. Even for relationships that don’t fit the pattern of Christian marriage, the relationship has some sort of boundary whose transgression implies infidelity. There is an innate sense that certain relationships require exclusivity of some kind to [...]

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How ADHD in Children Can Make Life More Complicated

How ADHD in Children Can Make Life More Complicated

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:53:34+00:00June 5th, 2023|ADHD/ADD, Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

If your child is restless, impulsive, and has trouble concentrating, you may jump to the conclusion that he or she has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Read on to better understand ADHD in children. ADHD in children Many little children leap before they look. They run and jump, scream and shout, trip and get up again. They sometimes struggle to hear the directions given on how to complete a task, and even once started, there is no guarantee that they will finish the job. ADHD is different from the very normal stages of emotional and cognitive development children grow through as they age. While symptoms can be noticed earlier, ADHD in children often becomes especially pronounced when the child is faced with change, such as starting school or moving home. ADHD in children is often revealed when the child is unusually active, with the tendency to squirm in his or her seat or fidget with whatever is in front of him or her. Listening to, understanding, and following instructions seem to be abnormally difficult. The child with ADHD is characterized by careless mistakes, being absentminded and forgetful, unorganized, and hyperactive. Most cases of ADHD are recognized when the child is younger than 12 years old, although it can be diagnosed later in life, even as an adult. While the symptoms of ADHD most times get better with age, most adults with ADHD were recognized to have it while children and continue to experience the limitations the condition forces upon them. ADHD can also be seen in seemingly unrelated problems such as trouble sleeping or suffering from anxiety. How to assist children with ADHD It is natural for most children to at times feel restless or bored – and this does not predispose them to ADHD. If you are concerned [...]

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From the Heart: Healing Communication from the Inside Out

From the Heart: Healing Communication from the Inside Out

Kate Motaung2025-01-16T13:51:08+00:00May 9th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

It is impossible to navigate this life without communication with other humans. Connection and the need for it are what bring people together. The lack of it, unfortunately, is often what can drive a wedge, forcing apart the closest of relationships. Our connection is enhanced by communication, that is the release and receipt of messages, both verbal and non-verbal. We employ sounds, gestures, and facial expressions to convey our meaning and gather messages in our communication with others. Somewhere in our contact with others, we will encounter conflict. As much as we might try to circumvent it, it can seem impossible. Billions of people populate the world, though one God created and formed each of us in His image. Yet as consistent as He is, He created us with such diversity. Within the realm of differences, we sometimes butt up against each other. Instead of our difference being a place where we celebrate the Father’s various facets of His person into humanity, we long for sameness. We enter a conflict ourselves, wanting to fit in and be like others. Yet, when we interact with others who are not like us, we persecute them as being inherently wrong. Essentially, pride and fear are at work, persuading us to make others over in our image instead of celebrating God’s image in each of us. This prompts us to spar with each other, leading to contention instead of cultivating connection, and gaining the traction to release more of the knowledge of God’s glory into the earth. Communication to solve people problems While it seems that this clamoring would be a “world” problem, far too often, those of us who are members of the worldwide church war and fight one another unnecessarily. This isn’t new; it’s an age-old people problem. Several of the apostles [...]

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The Basic Effects of Trauma

The Basic Effects of Trauma

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:53:55+00:00March 23rd, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

This article is an overview of how trauma is understood and how it may affect your mental health. It discusses the effects of trauma, lists some treatment options and discusses how to remove barriers that prevent you from securing the correct type of support. This article is also relevant to readers who want to be a better support to those who have undergone trauma. It will be useful to start with the question of the basic effects of trauma. After all, it seems that many of us are either in one of three life stages when it comes to life’s difficulties: we are either entering a tough time, in the middle of one or coming out of one. Now, as you can expect, trauma has a different impact on each person. This includes the ways our bodies respond to danger, the impact that trauma often has on mental health, the link between trauma and physical health problems, and other factors. There are quite broad touch points on trauma, so it is likely that you will have experienced or witnessed in others some of the impacts which appear in the article, and quite likely some others that are not mentioned. The ways our bodies respond to danger. Cortisol and adrenaline are both hormones that our bodies instinctively release when we are feeling stressed or threatened. Trauma is an involuntary and natural response by our bodies to help us prepare to respond to danger. These hormones will affect different people in different ways. Experts have coined these reactions in the following ways: fawn, fight, flight, flop, and freeze. Fawn – attempts to placate the one who is harming you. Fight – being belligerent, struggling, or dissenting. Flight – getting away from the danger and threat of trauma. Flop – simply obeying [...]

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11 Common Signs of Early Onset Dementia

11 Common Signs of Early Onset Dementia

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:54:07+00:00January 26th, 2023|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Early onset dementia may be a term that you have heard of but do not know exactly what it means. Simply put, it describes a mix of symptoms affecting a person’s mental abilities such as learning, thinking, reasoning, remembering, problem-solving, decision-making, and paying attention. While dementia normally occurs in older people, when the nerve cells in a person’s brain stop working, it is not a foregone conclusion that older people will develop dementia. Of course, aging can cause a person’s brain to decline, but this deterioration happens quicker in those suffering from dementia. There are various types of dementia, with the most common being Alzheimer’s disease. Others include: Vascular disorders affecting the circulation of blood around the body. Lewy body dementia which leads to a decline in reasoning, thinking, and independence Frontotemporal dementia, a fairly uncommon type of dementia that affects the front and sides of the brain. It causes problems with behavior and language so people suffering from it may experience personality changes, changes in emotional reactions, having trouble planning as well as speaking and understanding sentences. Alzheimer’s disease causes a person to lose their memory, impedes their speech, and accentuates impulsive behavior. In the vast majority of cases, Alzheimer’s gets worse over time, with some of the signs being forgetfulness; and difficulty speaking, making decisions, and completing tasks. It can also bring on personality changes. Signs of early onset dementia There are a series of red flags which if people experience them earlier than usual are understood to be typical signs of dementia. When someone receives a diagnosis confirming dementia it is once they usually experience two or more of the symptoms described below at a level of intensity severe enough for it to interfere with their daily lives. Signs of early-onset dementia include: Losing memory. A common [...]

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Reasons People Remain in Harmful Relationships

Reasons People Remain in Harmful Relationships

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:54:17+00:00January 14th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Sometimes, despite our best intentions, we remain in unhealthy or even harmful relationships for much longer than we should. It’s not because we’re addicted to the mayhem or because we enjoy being mistreated; neither of those things are true. There is a possibility that we occasionally catch a glimpse of a sliver of hope that things are going to turn out better in the future. When we look at our partner and the dynamics of the relationship through a lens of compassion and hope, we may miss warning signs in our relationship that are obvious to others. This may be the case because we are looking at our partner through this lens. The results of our principles and beliefs in relationships. We have a wide variety of beliefs about ourselves and others, all of which influence the decisions we make. We might think that if our partner gets the right kind of assistance or support, they can realize their full potential and that it is our responsibility to provide that assistance and support. We may worry that our departure would cause them harm or that our partner’s situation would deteriorate in our absence. If we were to break up with this person, it would mean the end of our dreams because it would mean we would no longer be committed to pursuing them. Perhaps we feel that our primary responsibility is to provide care and healing to others, even if this causes us to lose sight of our own needs. We may be uncomfortable with the idea of breaking off a relationship due to unfulfilled wants and needs because we don’t want to be seen as selfish. New information and how we handle it in relationships. Cognitive dissonance is something that can affect us when we are in a [...]

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How to Improve Your Listening Skills in Marriage

How to Improve Your Listening Skills in Marriage

Kate Motaung2025-01-16T13:59:26+00:00January 3rd, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

To improve listening skills in your marriage, you need to understand the reasons why you can miss significant details in what your partner is saying, even though you believe that you are listening. Why do misunderstandings happen? Misunderstandings can happen for a variety of reasons. Here are a few common problems that lead to misunderstandings in marriage. You are preoccupied, exhausted, or both: Imagine you are thinking about a problem you had at work while the children are screaming and the television is blasting at full volume. Now your partner has started talking to you about how they expect company later in the evening. You give a satisfied nod and say okay, but were you paying attention to what was being said? Likely not. You make assumptions: A damaging attempt at mind reading, assumptions can cause a lot of trouble in a relationship. A common way this occurs is when you think that there is a secret meaning to the words that your spouse has said. In reality, you may be reading too much into the situation. Ever-shortening attention spans: A measly eight seconds is considered to be the average attention span of a human being. That means you can lose focus quickly when your spouse is talking to you, often without even realizing it. There are, however, ways to get better at this and become a good listener when you are speaking with the important people in your life, particularly your partner. Sometimes it’s difficult to listen to what each other has to say. There are so many demands that are placed on us by life, and it always seems as though a million things are competing for our attention, such as our jobs, our hobbies, our friends, and our children. Because of this, you and the [...]

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Practical Ways to Improve Your Mental Wellness

Practical Ways to Improve Your Mental Wellness

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:54:31+00:00January 3rd, 2023|Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

You may hear a lot about mental wellness these days. Things like self-care or self-love are often describing things you can do to take care of yourself, but it’s easy for these ideas to get lost in the busyness of life. This can leave you feeling like you’ve dropped the ball on yet another thing in your life, which only perpetuates the problem. Instead of focusing on the ideas of self-care, consider how you can make simple changes that promote mental wellness in your life. These changes don’t need to be drastic. It is often better when they are small things that you can build upon over time. This sets you up for success far better than making big changes all at once. Small changes combined with your faith will help you intentionally work toward improving your mental health and well-being. What is mental wellness? There is a lot of good, helpful information about mental health in the world today. With increasing awareness, it is becoming mainstream to consider mental health as an important part of a person’s overall well-being. Despite the increased information, there are a lot of terms used interchangeably that have different meanings. Mental health, mental illness, and mental wellness are perfect examples. According to the American Psychiatry Association, mental health focuses on how you function in your daily life, while mental illness is caused by disorders that affect you in areas like thinking, emotions, and behavior. While it can be connected to mental illness, mental wellness is different. According to the Global Wellness Institute, “Mental wellness is an internal resource that helps us think, feel, connect, and function; it is an active process that helps us to build resilience, grow, and flourish.” Simply put, mental wellness focuses on the things you can do to promote [...]

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8 Bible Verses About Worrying

8 Bible Verses About Worrying

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:54:38+00:00January 3rd, 2023|Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

What if it doesn’t work out? What if we fail? What if our worst nightmare comes true? These are the questions that can hold us captive. Worry is mental distress or agitation about something anticipated. Anxiety, trouble, concern, doubt, fear, and apprehension are other words for worry. Worrying can hold our thoughts captive and rob us of today’s tasks before us and the people who cross our paths. “Worry is like a rocking chair; it’ll give you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” – Unknown Worry is rarely tied to productive action. It replays possible outcomes when we experience tough times and face uncertain outcomes. It is ineffective and it takes its toll. We lose sleep and are less productive. Our focus switches to imagined scenarios rather than on our actual life. It can make us feel out of control or fearful for the future. Fear and worry are the opposite of faith. We can read Bible verses about worrying and learn to exchange our worry for trust in God. 8 Bible Verses about Worrying When Pharaoh drew near, the people of Israel lifted up their eyes, and behold, the Egyptians were marching after them, and they feared greatly. And the people of Israel cried out to the Lord. – Exodus 14:10, ESV Can you imagine the tension in the people of Israel as each one worried about what would happen next? The Red Sea lay before them, and Pharaoh’s army came behind them. What an impossible situation. Their thoughts had to run wild and in fact, they declared that Moses led them to their death. One thing we can learn from this Bible verse about worrying is to call out to the Lord. We can stop our frantic thoughts and accusations that God has forgotten [...]

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Kate Motaung

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