Personal Development

There are parts of you that rarely get a voice. Many people of faith wrestle with emotions they’ve learned to suppress, from fear, shame, guilt, and resentment to grief that feels unacceptable. Yet those unspoken feelings still influence how you relate, love, and respond. The psychodynamic approach offers a way to listen inward again, to understand what those quiet emotions have been trying to say all along. When people hear the word psychodynamic, it can sound like something reserved for textbooks or graduate programs. In practice, this approach is simply a way of understanding how your emotional experiences still influence how you think, feel, and relate today. This approach helps you see how your inner world works. It looks at the feelings you’ve learned to push aside, the stories you tell yourself about who you are, and the ways you protect yourself from pain. It helps you understand yourself. That understanding becomes the foundation for real change, because you can’t heal what you don’t recognize. Where The Psychodynamic Approach Comes From The psychodynamic approach grew out of early psychology, when therapists began noticing that people’s current struggles were mostly connected to experiences they hadn’t fully processed. Over time, this idea evolved from the work of thinkers like Freud and Jung into a more modern, compassionate way of understanding how the past shapes the present. In simple terms, the psychodynamic approach looks at the emotional patterns that live beneath your everyday reactions. Why Old Feelings Still Shape How You See Yourself Today Most people assume that once something is in the past, it stays there. In truth, emotional experiences don’t fade just because time passes. They linger in the background, influencing how you see yourself and how you respond to others. Maybe you learned early on that expressing anger led [...]

Many clients come to me feeling lonely. Some have lost loved ones through death or divorce. Others have lost themselves and their ability or motivation to make new connections, and some have experienced a residential move or have jumped into a new career that has left them feeling isolated. Overcoming loneliness can seem a monumental task. The common factor seems to be clear, even when their stories are different. Loneliness stems from the discrepancy between what a person perceives as the ideal amount and quality of social interactions in their lives and the reality of their actual connections. You may be feeling the weight of that discrepancy and disconnection, too. However, whatever circumstances have caused the social isolation or perception of such in your life is relatively unimportant. What is important is how you deal with your current situation on a mental, physical, social, and spiritual level. And yes, all those aspects of your being play a part in your feelings of isolation and disconnect. 8 Steps for Overcoming Loneliness While loneliness is more complex than being physically and socially isolated, for this purpose, today, let’s talk about how to start building solid relationships. Relationship building may not solve all your problems or remove your feelings of loneliness, but it can greatly enhance your life, and it begins with small, brave steps: Admit you’re lonely This might sound obvious, but it’s often the hardest step. It’s vulnerable to admit that we need others, especially in a world that celebrates individualism. But vulnerability is the birthplace of connection. Reach out, even when it feels awkward Call the friend you’ve been meaning to check in on. Join the group at church or sign up for the book club. Start small, but start somewhere. Relationships are built, not stumbled upon. So, take [...]

Our nature as beings made in God’s image means that we have within us a deep desire and need to be connected to others, as modeled in the relationship nature of the Holy Trinity. We yearn for relationships and a sense of connectedness to God and others, but we don’t always feel this when we need it. The American professor, advocate for world peace, political journalist, and author Norman Cousins is quoted as saying, “The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness.” Loneliness is a problem that affects people from all walks of life, though some are more prone to it than others. In 2023, the US Attorney General went as far as calling loneliness a public health epidemic, and it’s not hard to understand why, as more research shows its connection to mental health issues. Where God created us to be seen, known, and understood, loneliness is the exact opposite. Loneliness is that sense of emotional isolation and disconnection; it’s painful and unpleasant, and there are healthy as well as unhealthy ways to try and address it. The Problem with Loneliness We all feel lonely at points in our lives. Perhaps you’ve felt it on that first day at school, or other subsequent first days as the years rolled by. Loneliness can set in when a person lacks social connections or relationships. The strange thing about loneliness is that it can set in even when one has those connections or relationships, giving rise to the sentiment of feeling all alone in a crowded room. Loneliness is complex, but at the root, it’s about feeling emotionally disconnected from other people. That’s why it can set in whether you have social connections or not. You can be in relationship with other people, but if you [...]