Personal Development

Many clients come to me feeling lonely. Some have lost loved ones through death or divorce. Others have lost themselves and their ability or motivation to make new connections, and some have experienced a residential move or have jumped into a new career that has left them feeling isolated. Overcoming loneliness can seem a monumental task. The common factor seems to be clear, even when their stories are different. Loneliness stems from the discrepancy between what a person perceives as the ideal amount and quality of social interactions in their lives and the reality of their actual connections. You may be feeling the weight of that discrepancy and disconnection, too. However, whatever circumstances have caused the social isolation or perception of such in your life is relatively unimportant. What is important is how you deal with your current situation on a mental, physical, social, and spiritual level. And yes, all those aspects of your being play a part in your feelings of isolation and disconnect. 8 Steps for Overcoming Loneliness While loneliness is more complex than being physically and socially isolated, for this purpose, today, let’s talk about how to start building solid relationships. Relationship building may not solve all your problems or remove your feelings of loneliness, but it can greatly enhance your life, and it begins with small, brave steps: Admit you’re lonely This might sound obvious, but it’s often the hardest step. It’s vulnerable to admit that we need others, especially in a world that celebrates individualism. But vulnerability is the birthplace of connection. Reach out, even when it feels awkward Call the friend you’ve been meaning to check in on. Join the group at church or sign up for the book club. Start small, but start somewhere. Relationships are built, not stumbled upon. So, take [...]

Our nature as beings made in God’s image means that we have within us a deep desire and need to be connected to others, as modeled in the relationship nature of the Holy Trinity. We yearn for relationships and a sense of connectedness to God and others, but we don’t always feel this when we need it. The American professor, advocate for world peace, political journalist, and author Norman Cousins is quoted as saying, “The eternal quest of the individual human being is to shatter his loneliness.” Loneliness is a problem that affects people from all walks of life, though some are more prone to it than others. In 2023, the US Attorney General went as far as calling loneliness a public health epidemic, and it’s not hard to understand why, as more research shows its connection to mental health issues. Where God created us to be seen, known, and understood, loneliness is the exact opposite. Loneliness is that sense of emotional isolation and disconnection; it’s painful and unpleasant, and there are healthy as well as unhealthy ways to try and address it. The Problem with Loneliness We all feel lonely at points in our lives. Perhaps you’ve felt it on that first day at school, or other subsequent first days as the years rolled by. Loneliness can set in when a person lacks social connections or relationships. The strange thing about loneliness is that it can set in even when one has those connections or relationships, giving rise to the sentiment of feeling all alone in a crowded room. Loneliness is complex, but at the root, it’s about feeling emotionally disconnected from other people. That’s why it can set in whether you have social connections or not. You can be in relationship with other people, but if you [...]