Spiritual Development Archives | Rockwall Christian Counseling

How to Forgive in Marriage

How to Forgive in Marriage

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-06-13T06:40:03+00:00June 13th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Forgiveness may be one of the hardest things you will ever do in your marriage, especially when you have been hurt deeply and feel betrayed by the one you love. It’s a whole lot easier to stay angry, to keep a mental tally of wrongdoings, and let that root of bitterness fester in your soul. But do you know what? That anger you’re feeling doesn’t help you in any way. It doesn’t help your health, physically or mentally. It doesn’t help your emotions, and it certainly doesn’t help your marriage. It only weighs down your heart, clouding your relationship and keeping you stuck. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you pretend that you weren’t hurt by what happened or that it didn’t happen at all. Forgiveness is about moving forward, letting go of anger, and finding healing together. Take, for example, Anna and Luke. They had been married for almost ten years, and recently, their marriage had been on the rocks. The tipping point came when Luke made a comment at a family gathering that deeply hurt Anna. It wasn’t the first time he’d said something carelessly, but this time, it felt like too much. Anna was furious. For weeks, every time they talked, she brought it up, lashing out in anger, even when Luke tried to apologize. Anna wasn’t just angry about that one comment. It was the accumulation of years of hurt, misunderstandings, and unspoken resentment. As she worked through the complicated emotions, Anna realized something important. She realized that she had been holding onto her anger because she felt like it was the only way she could protect herself. The problem was that her anger was not just about building a wall to protect herself. It was building a wall between her and Luke. She had walls that he [...]

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Bible Verses for Mourning: Finding Comfort in Difficult Times

Bible Verses for Mourning: Finding Comfort in Difficult Times

Kate Motaung2025-04-24T12:20:24+00:00April 24th, 2025|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

There are moments and seasons in life when it matters more than anything to be seen and heard. The things we think, feel, know, and experience matter and that affirmation counts at certain times more than others. When you go through loss and bereavement, it can be utterly devastating. It can unmoor you from everything that you know, and it makes a difference to know at that moment that someone knows, sees, and cares. We all process loss differently. Some people want others around them, others want to be alone with their thoughts and reach out for connection when needed. Still others want that one loved one with whom they feel safe, and they can be vulnerable. Grief does strange things to us, and how we respond isn’t predictable. The main thing is to find ways to deal with the grief, and not to bury it. One place to turn to for help in processing grief is Scripture. It deals with grief, often in its raw and unvarnished form, and it can help us to process our own grief as we see how other godly people made sense of what feels senseless. Comfort from Scripture During Mourning Often, when a person loses a loved one, they are said to be “in mourning” or “in a period of mourning”. This can make it sound as though there is a defined or limited time to mourn your loved one. In truth, grief remains with you for the rest of your life, and it’s mainly about finding ways to cope with it and do life without your loved one. The mourning may take a different shape, but grief remains a part of your life. Whether it is the loss of a loved one, a cherished pet, or even the end of a [...]

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How to Use Prayers of Lament as Part of the Grieving Process

How to Use Prayers of Lament as Part of the Grieving Process

Kate Motaung2025-04-15T05:53:49+00:00April 15th, 2025|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

It can be both a delight and a relief to find an author or poet who expresses a thought or feeling in a way that feels as if it came straight out of you. It’s a delight because you’ve found just the right words to express something you have felt or thought. It’s also a relief because it confirms that you aren’t the only person who has felt this way before. You aren’t alone or on an outer fringe inaccessible to others. It is this way with lament. We have other thoughts and emotions, such as what we experience when we go through grief, loss, and sadness. Whether you are recently bereaved or have been dealing with the loss of a loved one for a while, there is comfort to be found in being able to fully express what you’re feeling and experiencing. Prayers of lament may be one way to do this, and they can be an effective part of the grieving process. Grieving as a Process When you lose someone, or you anticipate that you will lose someone, your whole being experiences that loss. You had a connection with that person, and that connection is lost and irrevocably changed. Even in situations where you felt estranged or even hostile toward the other person, you can still experience grief. Grief is a process and a rather convoluted one at that. It’s about coming to terms with your loss, and realigning your world so that you can carry on living with your loved one’s absence as part of the new reality. Grieving is about acknowledging the loss, allowing yourself to experience all the emotions and thoughts that come with that loss, and learning how to cope. Each person grieves in their own way. One reason grief is a convoluted [...]

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God’s Process: Prayer and Spiritual Development

God’s Process: Prayer and Spiritual Development

Kate Motaung2025-03-26T11:54:37+00:00March 19th, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

Longing is a part of our lives as Christ’s followers. Often frustration accompanies it in between the time we have a God-vision and experience it coming to fruition. We place our faith in God, often for a specific outcome, anticipating the outward manifestation of all we have previewed in our imagination. However, the way that God transports us to a place He may have revealed doesn’t always align with how we think we will get there. Nonetheless, we pray, we proclaim the Scripture, and we make plans and create space to welcome all that He has promised. Hope is built into the verse that defines and describes our most basic understanding of what it means to believe (Hebrews 11:1). We apply the same principle of apprehending the unseen when we confess Christ and convert from our sinful state. The process of our spiritual development is challenged when faith is stretched by other factors, such as time and circumstance. They buffet our belief and weary our resolve, complicating what seemed simpler at one point in our journey. Sometimes, our faith flounders along the way, but God never abandons us. As Beginning and End, our Everlasting Father remains committed to the destination and the long path between prayer and manifested promise (Revelation 22:13; Isaiah 9:6). He is not daunted by time, as He created it to serve His purposes. Additionally, He fashions circumstances to work together for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28). Here, in the meantime seasons, He purifies, prunes, and develops patience in us. He processes us, preparing us for what’s next. God’s Process of Spiritual Development After decades of longing and years of waiting on a promised son, God tested Abraham, commanding him to sacrifice Isaac (Genesis 22). It seemed incomprehensible, but Abraham remained confident in the [...]

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Frequently Asked Questions About Mental Health Coaching

Frequently Asked Questions About Mental Health Coaching

Sandra Stein2025-01-22T05:57:40+00:00January 22nd, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Personal Development, Professional Development, Spiritual Development|

Mental health coaching is carried out by mental health coaches who are trained wellness professionals specializing in non-clinical mental health issues. They are dedicated to encouraging positive change that can help you achieve your self-determined well-being goals. Although mental health coaches are not qualified to do everything that licensed therapists do, they can help you develop greater self-awareness, clarify goals, manage your emotions, improve communication and relationship skills, challenge negative thinking patterns, reduce stress and anxiety, change the way you approach problems, and come up with strategies that use your unique strengths and talents to achieve personal objectives. What is the difference between a mental health coach and a therapist? Key differences between mental health coaches and therapists include: Credentials Mental health coaches are not qualified to diagnose mental health disorders or treat complex clinical problems such as depression or trauma-related issues. On the other hand, therapists have at minimum a Masters degree in their field and are licensed to do both. Hierarchy Mental health coaching involves a collaborative relationship in which you and your coach are equals. Conversely, therapy is like a doctor/patient relationship, in which you are consulting a specialist for treatment of your issue. Areas addressed: Therapists diagnose and treat complex mental health disorders such as depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or bipolar disorder. Mental health coaches, on the other hand, focus on helping you create positive changes in your life and improve your overall well-being through building healthy habits, addressing challenges in more effective ways, managing stress, and improving relationships and communication. Areas of focus Therapists dig into the past to help you understand and address what is at the root of your current challenges and bring about healing in the present. Mental health coaches focus on the present and what you want to accomplish [...]

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Complicated Grief: Coping With Grief When It Just Won’t Go Away

Complicated Grief: Coping With Grief When It Just Won’t Go Away

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2024-12-10T14:17:38+00:00December 9th, 2024|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

The bonds and connections we form with others are precious, helping to make our lives more fulfilling. You might have success, for example, but without others to celebrate it with, it can ring hollow. The depth, richness, and sheer joy that comes from our relationships with others is part of why losing loved ones is so hard. Losing them leaves a hole in our lives, forever altering whatever follows. When you encounter loss, the natural and healthy response to that loss is grief. Grieving is that process that allows us to make sense of what has happened, and to adjust our lives so that we can cope with the new reality. Grief, however, isn’t always straightforward for a variety of reasons. It’s possible to grieve in such a way that you severely disrupt your life through dysfunctional behaviors. What is complicated grief? Loss comes uniquely to us all. Loss will often come through bereavement, whether the death of that loved one was sudden and shocking, or after a prolonged illness. There are other forms of loss, like when a divorce happens, if you’re forced to move from your home, if a beloved family pet dies, or if a cherished dream falls apart. These and other forms of loss can all trigger the grief process. To understand complicated grief, it’s important to firstly get a grip on the fact that there is a sense in which all grief never quite goes away. You never quite ‘get over’ your loss, but you do find ways to cope with it and continue to live on beyond the loss. You experience feelings of loss, hurt, and sadness, and you may also experience anger, too. Grief is a process that will take you through a swathe of unpredictable emotions. Over time, the intensity of these [...]

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Partnering with Peace: ABC’s of Soul Care

Partnering with Peace: ABC’s of Soul Care

Kate Motaung2024-11-30T06:52:33+00:00November 29th, 2024|Anxiety, Featured, Peace, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

When we experience difficulty in our lives, it may be especially challenging to see the goodness of God. We may not realize the dizzying pace of our own lives until physical or mental health matters arrest us, forcing us to stop and take inventory of our lives. Even when we realize that the pace of our thoughts and activity is not sustainable, we often barrel through, spinning our souls in anxiety. Instead of providing respite, our attempts to hold everything together, including ourselves, only serve to reinforce the work of fear and stress in our lives. We forfeit the peace Jesus intended for us to have. Instead of turning our hearts to the Lord, for direction and clarity, we bow ourselves to people, pursuits, and possessions instead of the God who created us to worship Him. When we do, we abandon our esteemed place of favor and elevated position of faith. We wear ourselves out when the Savior has only invited us to rest. This is precisely what the enemy wants. If he cannot defeat us on one front, he will attempt to exhaust and frustrate us. When our focus gets fuzzy and our hearts get weary, we don’t war with the same intensity as when our vision is clear. Beyond what we see and feel, the Truth remains. We can actively remind ourselves of what God’s Word says. Of course, the voices of this world, the enemy, and even our own psyche may seek to bully us into believing and behaving in ways that do not reflect the soul wealth, wisdom, and rest that Christ offers. However, we always have the invitation, choice, and power to reframe our thoughts and actions to align with what is always true, no matter how contested. Sometimes, we need a little encouragement and [...]

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5 Bible Verses About Handling Stress

5 Bible Verses About Handling Stress

Wade Van Staden2024-10-18T14:09:35+00:00October 16th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

While it’s true that our modern lives have become increasingly stressful, we see examples of stressed-out people throughout Scripture. Jesus Himself was stressed to the point of sweating blood in the Garden of Gethsemane. When it feels like an inverted pyramid of pressure is bearing down on your shoulders, you can find solace, hope, wisdom, and help in handling stress in the Bible. Scriptures about stress and peace to guide you Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. – Proverbs 16:3, NIV It’s easy to lose sight of the most important things in life when we become stressed. A helpful habit to form is to have a few moments in simple prayer at the start or end of each day to quietly connect with the Lord. Tell Him about your plans, failures, hopes, and anxieties. Doing this daily will help you reorient your focus on the One who helps your plans succeed. Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. – Matthew 11:28, NIV Jesus knew that His followers would experience stressful trials in the world. He made this offer to all while He was still on earth. He promised to bring our struggles to God and in return, we receive His rest. Elsewhere He reminds us that He gives us peace and does not take it back from us (John 14:27). But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed, and its destruction was complete. – Luke 6:49, NIV This is both a warning and a reminder to keep God central as we navigate our stressful [...]

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Bible Verses about Anger: Dealing with Anger the Godly Way

Bible Verses about Anger: Dealing with Anger the Godly Way

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T10:49:26+00:00August 20th, 2024|Anger Issues, Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Anger is a complex human emotion. It is as normal as laughing or crying, yet its effects, although potentially beneficial, can be quite damaging. Anger normally arises from provocation, frustrations, and other triggers like stress, mental health issues, or environmental influences. When anger is expressed constructively and with control, solutions to conflicts can be found, wrongs can be made right, and healthy boundaries set. On the other hand, uncontrolled anger may lead to negative outcomes such as depression, anxiety, severed relationships, extreme violence, and harmful behavior. People express their anger in varying degrees, some to the point of physically harming others or cutting ties with loved ones. Is anger ever justified? Before we explore ways of dealing with anger, let us first consider if it is even acceptable for us as Christians to be angry. In the book of John (2:13-17), we witness Jesus Christ, the epitome of love, compassion, patience, and grace, getting extremely angry because the money changers and merchants had turned the temple courts into a marketplace. In His anger, the Bible says Jesus overturned tables and chased the transgressors from the temples because they had brought chaos into the house of God. In Nehemiah 5:6, we hear Nehemiah, another great biblical figure, admitting to being “very angry” when he learned of the exploitation and oppression of the poor. Some of the poor people were even forced by their circumstances to sell their children to pay exorbitant taxes. The rest of the book shows how Nehemiah proceeded to boldly confront the nobles and the officials. He rebuked them for the oppression of the poor Jews and demanded that they put an end to it. They listened to Nehemiah and agreed to put an end to the oppressive practices. Nehemiah’s anger was the much-needed catalyst that helped [...]

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Forgiveness in the Bible and What it Means for You

Forgiveness in the Bible and What it Means for You

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T10:47:03+00:00June 7th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Spiritual Development|

Forgiveness is one of the most well-known yet complex topics in Scripture. The theme of forgiveness is at the center of the gospel, redemption, the Old Testament covenants, and Jesus’ death on the cross. Forgiveness from God to humans is part of it, and forgiveness from one human to another is the other part. Some of the most common questions asked about forgiveness in the Bible include, “What does forgiveness mean?” “How do I forgive someone who harmed me?” and, “What does the Bible say about forgiveness?” If you want to learn more about forgiveness in the Bible, keep reading for forgiveness Bible verses and what they mean in context. Individual Christian counseling can help you address the concept of forgiveness in your own life and help you apply Scripture and what it says about forgiveness, reconciliation, grace, and healing. Forgiveness in the Old Testament Let’s take a look at some references to the concept of forgiveness in the Old Testament before Jesus was born. In accordance with your great love, forgive the sin of these people, just as you have pardoned them from the time they left Egypt until now.” The Lord replied, “I have forgiven them, as you asked. – Numbers 14:19-21, NIV In this chapter, Moses is praying for the Lord’s forgiveness after the people of Israel rebelled against God in the desert. God immediately grants his prayer and forgives His people’s rebellion, sparing them from death. But there are still consequences for their sin because that generation would no longer be able to live in the Promised Land; it would be given to the next generation. In this passage, we can see that sometimes, forgiveness and consequences go hand in hand. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. [...]

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