Relationship Issues Archives | Rockwall Christian Counseling

5 Ways Infidelity Can Impact a Marriage

5 Ways Infidelity Can Impact a Marriage

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-03-26T12:01:30+00:00March 18th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Infidelity can be devastating to marriage. Couples can have difficulty having a healthy relationship after cheating has occurred. This is because infidelity can inflict emotional, physical, and mental damage to the victim. Additionally, suppose a person is unrepentant or blames the other for the infidelity. In that case, it can cause additional problems because the victim may feel misplaced shame or guilt due to what happened. Infidelity’s Impact on a Marriage Although infidelity can be a deal breaker in a marriage, it doesn’t always have to be. However, infidelity can impact many areas of marriage. Here are five areas in which infidelity can affect a marriage: Finances One way infidelity can impact your marriage is the strain that financial issues can have if the marriage ends. If one spouse is the primary breadwinner and helps provide for the other spouse, the other spouse may find that they need to get a job quickly. However, if they’ve been out of the workforce due to having children or lacking skills, they may find it challenging to find a well-paying job that will help meet their needs like their partner did. Additionally, an unfaithful person may become bitter because the relationship ended. Because of the shame and guilt they feel about what they did, they may hesitate to want to provide financial compensation to the other spouse. The spouse who is caring for the children may find themselves struggling because the other person who was unfaithful doesn’t want to pay them because they feel they may not be responsible for the termination of their relationship. A spouse who struggles to make ends meet after infidelity may need the help and support of family and friends. They may also need the help and support of people who can come and help them get [...]

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On the Road to Getting Married: Premarital Counseling in Rockwall, Texas

On the Road to Getting Married: Premarital Counseling in Rockwall, Texas

Jennifer Kooshian2025-03-26T12:32:08+00:00March 17th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There are many stops along the way to your wedding day. Finding the person you want to be with is a crucial step, and once you’ve gone through the awkward (or amazing!) first date, shared beautiful moments, shared even more amazing moments, and built trust and a meaningful connection, you may be getting the idea that this person is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. At this point, you may be ready for premarital counseling in Rockwall, Texas. Whenever it is that you decide that you want to be serious with someone and perhaps take your relationship toward marriage, premarital counseling in Rockwall, Texas is a good stop to make along the way. It’s an important building block with a lot of value for your relationship. What’s the deal with premarital counseling? Premarital counseling at Texas Christian Counseling in Rockwall is a form of talk therapy that’s geared at couples who are, in one way or another, thinking about marriage. Couples might go for this kind of counseling before they take the step to get engaged, but other couples get engaged first and then it. The goal of this type of counseling is to help couples talk through issues and questions in a way that will adequately prepare them for marriage. When you go for premarital counseling at Texas Christian Counseling in Rockwall, it’s not simply another task on a presumably long to-do list relating to the wedding and life beyond that amazing day. Premarital counseling is important because it creates intentional space to address things that the couple may not have considered; things that have a direct impact on how their married life will progress. Your premarital counselor in Rockwall, Texas may ask you a variety of questions, including what your understanding [...]

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Overcoming Anger and Resentment in Marriage

Overcoming Anger and Resentment in Marriage

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-02-13T12:02:05+00:00February 12th, 2025|Anger Issues, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Resentment is a slow fade. It has the potential to creep into your marriage, drain out the love and leave you feeling bitter and angry toward your spouse. But, did you know that when you approach resentment correctly it can be a catalyst to address key relationship issues and solidify an even stronger marriage? Getting a Clear Understanding of Resentment in Marriage Defined by some dictionaries as a feeling of anger because you have been forced to accept something that you do not like, resentment in marriage happens when there is a buildup of negative feelings between your spouse and yourself. You may feel harmed, ignored, disappointed, deceived, or poorly treated. This feeling is toxic to any relationship, especially as one precious as a marriage, and will, over time, poison the mutual love, trust, and respect necessary for it to be successful. The hurt that you experience because your partner has purposefully or accidentally broken the agreements of your relationship is a broad but effective way to understand why resentment starts to form. Unmet expectations at various levels have an equally corrosive effect. Perhaps it is the manner you are treated, how you thought your marriage would mature, or the characteristics of the life you are building together. The hurt solidifies into disappointment, frustration, and anger toward your spouse. How Resentment in Marriage Starts Off Imagine your marriage relationship as a beautiful, exotic motorcar. Resplendent in design and function. You and your spouse love it and treasure it. While you are both out driving, a loose piece of gravel flicks up and nicks the glass on the windshield. That evening you look at it and see that it has left a chip but not much more. You decide that because he was behind the wheel when it happened, he should [...]

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Dating Advice for Men: 5 Tips for Long-Distance Relationships

Dating Advice for Men: 5 Tips for Long-Distance Relationships

Jennifer Kooshian2025-02-04T06:00:41+00:00February 4th, 2025|Featured, Men’s Issues, Relationship Issues|

Being in a relationship with someone brings a unique blend of blessings and challenges. These will vary depending on who you’re in the relationship with, the nature of your relationship, and the circumstances you’re in at the moment. At its core, however, relationships (whether short or long-distance relationships) are about two people with a bond who have committed themselves to each other, to love and support each other as well as work through challenges they may face.A long-distance relationship isn’t radically different from other relationships but being apart from the person you care about does bring certain challenges. Likewise, though, it also offers opportunities that may strengthen the relationship. A long-distance relationship has every chance of being as rich and fulfilling as any other kind of relationship, but it’s wise to know what you’re getting yourself into.Long-Distance Relationships and YouPeople come into a long-distance relationship in different ways. Some couples are in an in-person relationship for a while before circumstances shift, and one or both parties change locations while deciding to stay together. It could be a change for college, work, to take care of family, or for other reasons. The change could be for a short or long season, or the relationship may be periodically long-distance, like service members who deploy to duty.Other relationships start their life as a long-distance relationship. Sometimes this carries the anxiety of what it will be like to meet and interact in person, or if it’s an elaborate online scam after all. However your relationship began, there are some things to consider, including ways to make a long-distance relationship work.Making Long-Distance Relationships WorkLong-distance relationships will have their blessings, quirks, and challenges. Some things to consider as you go into such a relationship include:Do you do well with distance?Likely the most obvious thing to consider [...]

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7 Examples of Gaslighting

7 Examples of Gaslighting

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T10:49:09+00:00October 23rd, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Over the last few years, the term gaslighting has become a part of the common vernacular, with most people vaguely aware that it refers to abusive behavior of some kind. The fact is that it is a specific type of emotional manipulation done by someone wanting to avoid being held accountable for their actions. When you understand how people use it, the effectiveness of gaslighting behavior lessens, and you can confront the real issues in the relationship. What is Gaslighting? The term first appeared in a stage play called “Gas Light,” in which a wife notices minute details around her house that point to her husband having an affair. Specifically, she notices that each morning the gas lights, which she turned off before bed each night, are often on in the morning before her husband wakes up. She confronts him with this and accuses him of sneaking out each night while she sleeps, but he repeatedly turns the accusations back on her, questioning her sanity and perception. She begins thinking that she imagined seeing things and feels cruel for having accused her husband of infidelity. Meanwhile, he successfully evades accountability and continues his unfaithfulness, with the only consequence being his wife’s declining mental and emotional health. At its core, gaslighting is a combination of emotional manipulation and psychological control that erodes a person’s self-esteem and destabilizes their mental health. It is almost exclusively spoken about in the context of romantic relationships, but it is a tactic used by people in any relationship that has a power dynamic. Parents, bosses, co-workers, politicians, and leaders in various fields might gaslight those in their sphere of influence to get their way. The person doing the gaslighting wants to retain their power in the relationship so that they can avoid accountability for toxic [...]

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Improving Communication in Complicated Relationships

Improving Communication in Complicated Relationships

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T10:46:09+00:00September 18th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Complicated relationships are a common part of human experience and may arise in any area of our lives. A mother dies and her siblings don’t offer any support to her children. Her kids feel betrayed but are obligated to deal with the aloof or hostile extended family while grieving. Divorced parents constantly fight over parenting choices but are forced to communicate because they are bound together by their shared children. High school friends continue to be in each other’s lives even though one of them realizes that the other is toxic, yet they are tied to each other due to multiple mutual friends. These are just a few examples of a complicated relationship, but there are many others such as business partners and co-workers, neighbors, and church-related relationships. You might think that if a relationship becomes complicated, you could just walk away. But there are many instances when walking away isn’t so simple. If you are co-parenting after a complicated divorce, are in business with a family member, or have a long and intertwined relationship with someone, it might not be easy to walk away, even if it gets toxic and complicated. Tips for navigating complicated relationships Navigating complicated relationships when getting out of them isn’t immediately feasible and requires a thoughtful and strategic approach. Here are some ideas to help you through the most complicated relationships in your life with grace. Establish clear boundaries Define and communicate your boundaries clearly and assertively. Boundaries help to manage expectations and protect your emotional well-being. They prevent you from becoming a victim and help you recognize when your rights are violated or ignored. Be consistent in enforcing the boundaries to maintain control and self-respect within the relationship. Boundaries also give the other party a roadmap for interacting with you. How often [...]

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Attachment Issues in Relationships: What Attachment Style are You?

Attachment Issues in Relationships: What Attachment Style are You?

Stephanie Kramer2024-12-21T10:21:52+00:00September 5th, 2024|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Answer the following questions honestly to determine your attachment style. Choose the option that best describes your typical reactions, feelings, thoughts, and behaviors in relationships. Question 1: How do you feel when your partner is not around? I feel anxious and worry that they might not come back. I enjoy the time alone but look forward to seeing them again. I hardly notice they’re gone and don’t feel a strong need for them to return soon. I feel uncomfortable with too much closeness and need personal space. Question 2: How do you usually handle conflicts with your partner? I feel distressed and need reassurance that everything is okay. I address the issue calmly and work toward a resolution together. I try to avoid conflicts altogether, even if it means not discussing important issues. I often withdraw and prefer to solve problems on my own. Question 3: What best describes your typical approach to intimacy and closeness in relationships? I crave closeness and need constant reassurance from my partner. I am comfortable with intimacy and value a balanced, close relationship. I am not comfortable with too much closeness and prefer to keep some distance. I find intimacy overwhelming and tend to pull back when someone gets close. Question 4: How do you feel when your partner expresses their needs and emotions? I feel overwhelmed and worry about meeting their needs. I feel empathetic and supportive, ready to listen and help. I feel indifferent and sometimes annoyed by their needs. I feel trapped and prefer to avoid dealing with their emotions. Question 5: How do you typically react to perceived rejection or criticism from your partner? I feel devastated and worry that they might leave me. I feel hurt but can discuss my feelings and resolve the issue. I brush it [...]

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Bible Verses about Anger: Dealing with Anger the Godly Way

Bible Verses about Anger: Dealing with Anger the Godly Way

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T10:49:26+00:00August 20th, 2024|Anger Issues, Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Anger is a complex human emotion. It is as normal as laughing or crying, yet its effects, although potentially beneficial, can be quite damaging. Anger normally arises from provocation, frustrations, and other triggers like stress, mental health issues, or environmental influences. When anger is expressed constructively and with control, solutions to conflicts can be found, wrongs can be made right, and healthy boundaries set. On the other hand, uncontrolled anger may lead to negative outcomes such as depression, anxiety, severed relationships, extreme violence, and harmful behavior. People express their anger in varying degrees, some to the point of physically harming others or cutting ties with loved ones. Is anger ever justified? Before we explore ways of dealing with anger, let us first consider if it is even acceptable for us as Christians to be angry. In the book of John (2:13-17), we witness Jesus Christ, the epitome of love, compassion, patience, and grace, getting extremely angry because the money changers and merchants had turned the temple courts into a marketplace. In His anger, the Bible says Jesus overturned tables and chased the transgressors from the temples because they had brought chaos into the house of God. In Nehemiah 5:6, we hear Nehemiah, another great biblical figure, admitting to being “very angry” when he learned of the exploitation and oppression of the poor. Some of the poor people were even forced by their circumstances to sell their children to pay exorbitant taxes. The rest of the book shows how Nehemiah proceeded to boldly confront the nobles and the officials. He rebuked them for the oppression of the poor Jews and demanded that they put an end to it. They listened to Nehemiah and agreed to put an end to the oppressive practices. Nehemiah’s anger was the much-needed catalyst that helped [...]

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Adventures in Parenting: Addressing Resentment, Burnout, and the Shame of Parenting Fatigue

Adventures in Parenting: Addressing Resentment, Burnout, and the Shame of Parenting Fatigue

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T10:46:27+00:00August 16th, 2024|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Parenting is one job where we are constantly “on.” Being a mom or dad can feel like a thankless endeavor. Unlike paid employment, it doesn’t build in its own breaks or allow us to renegotiate our compensation. While there are many sweet and tender moments, child rearing is sometimes saturated with the mundane. In some seasons, the hum of laundry, dishes, and the rhythms of running a household drone on while our own resolve fades in weariness and parenting fatigue. In other times, the whirlwind of parent and kid activity escalates as we juggle chores, homework, careers, and the stressors associated with raising a family in a turbulent world. We can become inundated with pressure to get ahead of the frenetic pace, then ashamed that we feel resentful of the families we love. Some days we may be uncertain if tantrums, whether our own or that of our kids, are steamrolling us over the edge of grace. As God-appointed leaders in our homes, we must be intentional to build respite into our rhythms to preserve our peace and well-being. Otherwise, we combust and burn out, bringing catastrophe to our families and ourselves. Parenting fatigue is real. Sometimes, the seasons we face squeeze the essence of every spiritual fruit, testing patience and stretching faith beyond what we feel is our capacity. The strain of life and the chaos of bursting schedules wear us out, dulling the edge of our effectiveness. When mental states fray and emotions escalate, it is difficult for us to be present with ourselves, let alone fully available to the children we love. In defiance, stress levels shriek, releasing a cry for help that shows up in us and our kids through potentially destructive behaviors, if left unchecked. While God created us to have full lives and [...]

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Why Do Codependent Relationships Happen? Signs of Codependency

Why Do Codependent Relationships Happen? Signs of Codependency

Wade Van Staden2024-09-27T10:36:31+00:00July 19th, 2024|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Codependent relationships are when two people are excessively reliant on one other for a combination of emotional, mental, practical, and spiritual support. Together they develop a sort of imbalanced rhythm of give and take, with one person caring, giving, and nurturing while the other receives, controls, and directs. On the surface, these kinds of agreements might look copasetic, and it can be difficult to even detect the signs of codependency. Eventually, though, codependent partnerships are damaging and draining for those involved. Why do codependent relationships happen? People are complex and everyone is carrying around varying degrees of trauma. There could be events and experiences from as far back as childhood that have affected us and shaped the way we connect with others. For example, if our parents were neglectful of us as children, we might grow up with an anxious attachment style, meaning that we fear being alone or abandoned. We learned at an early age that it is possible to be forgotten about, and we developed ways of manipulating people’s attention and affection to avoid being left alone again. Sometimes it happens that we meet someone who has trauma or experiences similar to our own. Behind most codependent relationships is a fear of abandonment, low self-esteem, an inability to express emotions and needs, and an unwillingness to face problems. Some people are naturally empathetic and find genuine meaning in giving and serving others. When this instinct is combined with a fear of abandonment or emotional insecurity, however, those empathetic motivations become selfish. That person might be showing kindness simply to manipulate people into liking them. On the other hand, some people are narcissistic and have an elevated opinion of themselves. To others, they might appear confident and self-assured, but they, too, often have a fear of neglect or [...]

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