Relationship Issues

How to Forgive: Dealing with Toxic and Dysfunctional Family Members

, 2026-01-03T06:22:48+00:00January 5th, 2026|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There aren’t any relationships quite like the relationship you have with your family. You can have “found family,” the people you gather around yourself as you make your way through life, and those relationships can be influential and life-changing. Your family, however, is that group of people you didn’t choose to be connected to, and maybe you wouldn’t ever pick them if you had the opportunity. However, it came about, family is a tie that binds. Putting it like that almost makes it seem as though families are more trouble than they’re worth, and more likely to be troublesome than not. Families are the first community we find ourselves part of, and they can be an amazing community of nurture and learning. These communities, like any other community, can be beautiful, but they can also be dysfunctional. What do you do when your family is toxic or dysfunctional? Various Ways Families May Be Dysfunctional When one or more people come together for a common cause, the door is open to issues such as unbalanced power dynamics, unhealthy communication, conflict, and personality clashes. There are different ways for a family to be dysfunctional, and each family can manifest dysfunction in its own unique way. Some common patterns of dysfunction in families include the following: Emotional dysfunction This includes issues such as emotional abuse, neglect, and placing unrealistic expectations upon family members. Abuse can take the form of belittling humor, emotional manipulation, and verbal aggression. Ignoring or being dismissive of family members’ needs is emotional neglect. Families are also spaces where excessive pressure to succeed is often placed on people. Communication breakdown Communication is the lifeblood of a relationship, and there are various ways it can break down. Dysfunction might take the form of passive-aggressive behavior, being overly critical of one [...]

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What to Do with Childhood Emotional Neglect as an Adult 

, 2026-01-02T07:27:04+00:00January 2nd, 2026|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Trauma|

A common misconception is that the things we experienced as children can affect us as adults. However, that is exactly the case for so many. From a child’s perspective, neglect does not always feel harmful when it is happening, and they might not show signs of being affected by their environment. Neglect does not leave literal scars, but it shapes our belief systems. It is only decades later that childhood emotional neglect begins affecting us, leaving us unsure of what to do about it. Latchkey Love In the 1970s and ’80s, a new term emerged to describe many children of the generation. “Latchkey kids” were children as young as eight or nine, whose hard-working parents entrusted them with the front door key on a chain around their necks. The parents would often leave for work before their children started school and return from work late in the evening. Latchkey kids would sometimes make their breakfast, go to school alone or with siblings, and return to an empty house after school. This lifestyle might have been by necessity rather than choice, but the key around each little neck was a symbol of both independence and possible emotional neglect. The times might have changed, and schools might require a lot more involvement from parents now, but that does not mean kids born in later generations did not experience emotional neglect. Latchkey kids are, in a way, the perfect example of emotional neglect because of how normalized neglect often is. When you are a child, you have a limited frame of reference for what is normal. We grow up believing that our family system is common to those around us, and we typically do not question it. It is only as you age that you start to realize that other families did or do things differently, and that maybe things at home are not quite right. Where abuse [...]

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What Parental Codependency Looks Like and How It Damages Family Relationships

, 2025-12-19T07:17:53+00:00December 19th, 2025|Codependency, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

No family is perfect, though some families try their best to be seen that way. Many of the families who seem healthy and happy on the outside secretly struggle with toxic dynamics caused by parental codependency. Parents don’t always know when they have fostered codependency with their children, and few families with these issues would be willing to take accountability and make changes. It is possible to heal an unhealthy family dynamic, though, and it’s never too late. What Parental Codependency Looks Like Many families normalize certain behaviors to the point that they don’t feel strange or negative. It is only years later, as children start growing up and developing their own identities and values, that the cracks begin to show. Codependency is an unhealthy relationship dynamic that requires one party to stifle their emotions and preferences so that they can remain in the relationship and avoid abandonment. In the context of parental codependency, parents become overly reliant on their kids to give them a sense of identity, purpose, and fulfillment of their emotional needs. This leads to a host of unhealthy behaviors like excessive strictness, toxic boundaries, fear of abandonment, and a lot of manipulation and guilt-tripping. It may take years or decades for children to realize that they’ve been part of a codependent relationship with one or both parents and sometimes siblings. When they do recognize the issue, it can be difficult to confront the situation because most codependent parents struggle with direct communication. Many become defensive when they feel as if they are being accused of certain behaviors. They would rather turn the conversation back on their child than take responsibility for their actions. You might have grown up in a codependent family if your parents did any of the following things or raised you with [...]

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What Your ADHD Friends Want You to Know

, 2025-12-12T06:06:50+00:00December 12th, 2025|ADHD/ADD, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

A surprising number of people of all ages are undiagnosed with ADHD. This means that, whether you know it or not, you probably have friends and family members who are neurodivergent. People with ADHD often struggle with time management, memory, prioritizing tasks, being impulsive, and being unfocused or easily distracted. When you don’t understand why your friend is acting in these ways, it can cause a rift in the relationship. It takes time, patience, and education to learn how to cope with ADHD. People with the disorder need compassionate friends who will stand by them through the ups and downs of dealing with being neurodivergent. Here are some things that your friends with ADHD might want you to know. They aren’t lazy If you have ever wondered why your friend’s house is always a mess, or why their personal hygiene leaves a lot to be desired, it could be because ADHD makes everyday tasks feel overwhelming. Your neurotypical brain can look around a messy room and conceptualize a series of tasks that can be done. You can easily say that first, the clutter needs to be cleared from the surfaces, and then, the floors need to be swept and mopped. However, the ADHD brain cannot process each of these steps in order. A simple set of tasks for you is an overwhelming obstacle for your neurodivergent friend. What you might not know is that your ADHD friend is embarrassed or ashamed of the state of their house, car, or hygiene. They can’t help feeling overwhelmed by all of the tasks they have to do, easy or unintimidating tasks for neurotypical people. They might appreciate a friend who comes alongside them and helps them develop a simple routine for housework or hygiene. Helping them in this way could be a [...]

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What to Do If You’re in a Sexless Marriage

2025-11-27T06:16:26+00:00November 27th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There is no clear-cut definition of a sexless marriage. Some experts define it as having sexual intercourse ten or fewer times a year; others, as not having had sex for a year or longer. Can a sexless marriage be a happy one? It depends on the couple and their mutual desires and expectations. There is no right amount of sex in a marriage. Frequency is only a problem if the spouses have discordant levels of desire and one of them is dissatisfied. Intimacy is about more than sex. It includes sharing your feelings, holding hands, snuggling, or falling asleep in each other’s arms. A sexless marriage can be a happy one as long as both spouses share a deep emotional bond, communicate openly and honestly, feel connected and mutually satisfied with their relationship, and are both okay with their pattern of infrequent sex or none at all. Reasons for a Sexless Marriage Some of the most common reasons for a sexless marriage include aging, busy work schedules, having children, stress, illness, erectile dysfunction, hurt, anger, broken trust, lack of communication, or past trauma. What does the Bible say about sex and marriage? Sex is part of God’s plan for marriage. It is His gift to you, as a sign of your covenant union, and is meant to be an intimate, affirming, life-giving experience that unites you in a one-flesh relationship. It is designed to be one of the basic glues that hold a marriage together. When sex is withheld, it can strain your relationship and give rise to all kinds of doubts, concerns, and trust issues, and can lead to a breakdown in communication and emotional connection. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority [...]

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The Importance of Godly Female Friendships

, 2025-11-25T07:19:48+00:00November 25th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues, Women’s Issues|

If you’re a woman, you’ve probably grown up watching examples of tightly bonded female friendships on television. These fictitious bonded pairs make having a bestie look appealing. You relax on your sofa watching Monica and Rachel unequivocally support each other, even through bizarre circumstances, and read the story of Anne Shirley and Diana Barry, whose bond spanned a lifetime. You’ve probably longed for a friendship like this, but finding a friend who will be with you through thick and thin, in good times and bad, isn’t as easy as it is on a television screen or in the pages of a book. As Christians, we shouldn’t be looking to these secular examples of friendship anyway, right? We should be looking for something different from our friendships than helping move a sofa up some stairs or forgiving someone when they accidentally get you drunk off currant wine. But as members of society, we have been conditioned to think that this cultural definition of friendship is the goal. We’ve been told that these examples are the ultimate showcase of true friendship. And while these examples of friendships are funny and heartwarming, a true godly friendship not only warms your heart but draws you closer to the keeper of your heart, God. Ruth and Naomi (Ruth 1-4) In the story of Ruth and Naomi, Ruth didn’t just stick it out with Naomi because it was convenient. No, she left behind everything familiar (homeland, security, and her culture) to walk with Naomi into the unknown. That’s not small talk over a frappe, but is self-sacrificing, ride or die loyalty that was rooted in faith in God. Their friendship was not just an emotional bond, but love in action. Ruth humbly gleaned the fields to provide for Naomi, showing her devotion to her through [...]

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4 Signs Your Husband May Be Having an Affair

, 2025-11-22T07:47:11+00:00November 24th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Infidelity in marriage can have devastating consequences for both spouses in the marriage. If you suspect that your husband may be having an affair, there are signs to look for. By paying attention to their behaviors, you may be able to stop an affair from happening and devastating your marriage. 4 Signs Your Husband May Be Having an Affair If you see one of these suggested behaviors below, it’s essential to say something and express your concerns to prevent your suspicions from becoming a reality. Please don’t wait until it’s too late. Here are four signs your husband may be having an affair. Secretive Texts If your husband is texting secretly or becoming more possessive about his phone or whereabouts, he may be having an affair. Another sign your husband may be keeping secrets about whom he’s texting is if notifications do not pop up on this phone. If your husband once had notifications that would pop up and you could see who texted him, but now you can’t, that may be a sign that he doesn’t want you to know those to whom he’s talking. If you find this is the case, ask him point-blank to whom he’s talking. If he is elusive or you suspect he’s lying, ask to see his phone. Check any suspicious numbers or names that seem foreign to you. While there should be trust in every relationship, if you suspect the person is acting differently than usual, it may be best to ask the question and see how they respond. Couples who have been together a long time know when the other person is lying. If the husband does not let you see the phone, this will confirm suspicions that something is up, and he is hiding something. Give them consequences for their actions [...]

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5 Ways to Increase Teamwork in Marriage

, 2025-11-24T05:37:54+00:00November 24th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Marriage requires teamwork. When a couple drifts apart due to conflict, differences in personality, or general busyness, it can become easier for them to become more individualistic in their marriage. The couple must work toward becoming a team to deal with whatever life throws at them. This also helps reduce the amount of conflict and the instances of divorce. Teamwork in marriage can be easier said than done. When personalities clash or two spouses are strong leadership types, it can be difficult for them to embrace teamwork. However, there are ways to increase teamwork in marriage that will celebrate their differences and embrace each other’s traits to create a strong partnership in the present and future. 5 Ways to Increase Teamwork in Marriage Here are five ways to increase teamwork in marriage: Pray One of the primary activities a Christian couple should do is pray together regularly. Even if a couple has not been used to praying with each other regularly, there’s no time like the present. In prayer, a couple can bring requests, struggles, and difficulties to God. Prayer promotes intimacy and trust in both parties as they pray for each other. When a couple acknowledges God as the Lord of their marriage, it increases the likelihood of success. God wants couples to be happy in their marriage and embrace their different roles. Although Ephesians 5 talks about the husband being the head and the woman being submissive, it also talks about the importance of submitting to Christ. When both parties submit to Christ and yield their lives to his will, they will embrace teamwork and become more united as a team. Submission is a vital element for both parties to adopt in marriage. The husband sacrificially loves the wife, the wife submits to the husband, and both [...]

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Coping with Divorce with the Help of Christian Counseling

, 2025-10-16T05:56:02+00:00October 16th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Few people say “I do” with the idea that it is a temporary commitment. Our world does a great job of selling us a highly romanticized view of love and marriage, but not often do we see the more challenging reality of what marriage entails, leaving many unprepared for this lifelong commitment. In his book, Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas points to this reality, stating, “...marriage reminds us of the daily reality of living as sinful human beings in a radically broken world. We aspire after love but far too often descend into hate and apathy.” And unfortunately, many madly in love end in divorce. Divorce is particularly hated among Christian crowds who are passionately against the idea of breaking a commitment, especially one before God and one that has been consummated. Despite all the sticky entanglements involved, people are still coping with divorce. Or in some cases, not coping well with it. It’s ideal and biblical to remain married. The commitment of marriage is a sacred, enduring bond between two people designed to reflect God’s love and covenant with His people. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. – Ephesians 5:25 In the best circumstances, marriage is a beautiful union, meant to last a lifetime, just like you vowed on that special day. The Bible speaks clearly to the importance of faithfulness, love, and perseverance in marriage. It instructs husbands and wives to support, honor, and cherish each other through all circumstances (even in-laws, late-night feedings, and a stack of bills). Jesus Himself reminds us in Matthew 19:6 that “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” That said, the road to a successful, lifelong marriage is not always smooth. You’re human, and so is your spouse (you probably already [...]

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Signs of Marital Problems and How to Address Them

, 2025-10-09T06:00:49+00:00October 9th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There is a story of a man named Hiroo Onoda, a Japanese second lieutenant in the Imperial Japanese Army, who didn’t know that World War 2 was over. For almost three decades after the war ended, Onoda, who was stationed on Lubang Island in the Philippines, remained in his post, convinced that the war was still ongoing. He only left the island in March 1974 when his former commanding officer was flown in to facilitate Onoda’s surrender. One of the many remarkable things about this story is how the world was changing rapidly around Onoda, but he didn’t have a clue about it. Seismic changes can occur in one’s life, and it’s not always obvious to you, even though other people around you can see what’s happening. This can occur in marriage; you may have problems, but end up missing the signs that things aren’t as they should be. Different Types of Marital Problems Marital problems take various forms, and they can flow from different aspects of a relationship. Some of the more common types of marital problems that couples encounter include communication issues, a lack of intimacy or emotional disconnection, unresolved conflicts that lead to resentment and anger, financial issues, and unequal distribution of responsibilities and household chores. Marriages may also face trust issues and difficulty trusting one another due to past behaviors such as infidelity. There may also be personal differences, conflicting values, interests, or lifestyle choices that cause friction between the spouses. Lastly, there may also be unaddressed mental health issues that may be affecting the relationship and the dynamics between the couple. While these and other kinds of issues may be present in a relationship, the couple may not see these issues for what they are. That happens for a variety of reasons. How and [...]

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