Relationship Issues Archives | Rockwall Christian Counseling

Do Toxic Couples Know They’re Toxic?

Do Toxic Couples Know They’re Toxic?

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-08-01T07:35:06+00:00August 1st, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Having healthy self-awareness can help you in many life situations. If you can tell that you’re getting angry, for example, you can remove yourself from the situation or otherwise take steps to manage your anger appropriately. Similarly, if you know your limits of patience, wisdom, time, and capacity, that will help you prevent overextending or overcommitting yourself, which can lead to chronic stress and burnout. Just as self-awareness can help you in these ways, it can also help you in your relationships. Not all relationships are made equal, as some are healthy and can contribute to you becoming the best version of yourself, while others can break you down and diminish you and your well-being. Being aware of what type of relationship you’re in, or better yet, knowing what sort of relationships to avoid, can help protect you and your well-being. What are toxic couples? Romantic relationships come in all kinds of packages, but despite these differences, at the heart of every healthy relationship should be love, respect, and care for one another. Healthy relationships make for better well-being, as people find the support they need to pursue their goals, and their relationships aren’t a source of stress and constant conflict. Having people around you who care for you makes a huge difference in your life. Toxic couples are those who aren’t loving, respectful, or caring in the way they relate to one another and the posture they take toward each other. This can happen in big, obvious ways that are plain to see, but it can happen in small ways that are no less impactful in undermining the health of the relationship. The couple may be completely oblivious to themselves, but the relationship will nonetheless still be toxic. When soil, water, or air is toxic, what we mean [...]

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Reasons to Consider Christian Couples Counseling

Reasons to Consider Christian Couples Counseling

Dr. Barbara Orticelli, Kate Motaung2025-07-26T07:07:41+00:00July 28th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Relationships don’t come ready-made out of the box. There’s a lot of growth, negotiation, mutual understanding, and accommodation that happens to make a relationship flourish. These skills aren’t obvious, and not everyone has them from the outset. However, we all can learn, and that capacity for growth means that we can improve our relationships. One avenue for growth is through seeking couples counseling. There are many reasons an individual might consider seeing a counselor. When two people begin a relationship, each with their own unique personalities and histories, the potential for misunderstandings, conflict, and hurt increases. Going to counseling as a couple can help you navigate these kinds of challenges and build a healthier partnership between you. What is Christian couples counseling? Christian couples counseling is a form of talk therapy where two people are guided by a professional with training to help them navigate the many thorny issues that often come up in relationships. The counselor has many years of specialized training to help them understand the dynamics of human relationships and to help you understand your situation better. When you go for counseling, it’s a partnership relationship. It’s important that you feel comfortable with your counselor’s approach and that you trust them. Without that trust, it’s hard to undergo the process, putting in the work that takes time before you see its fruit. This therapeutic alliance is important for getting the most out of your sessions. Couples counseling addresses a wide range of issues, but one of the important things is to come with the willingness to change and grow. Being open to the counseling process helps you receive what your counselor has for you, whether it’s encouragement and pointing out your strengths as a couple or highlighting unhealthy patterns of behavior. Your counselor wants to help you, [...]

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Preventing Generational Attachment Issues from Affecting Your Kids

Preventing Generational Attachment Issues from Affecting Your Kids

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-06-21T06:35:16+00:00June 23rd, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Sometimes, ingrained habits from our past can unknowingly affect how we parent and influence the emotional development of our children in ways we might not even realize. This is often the case with negative attachment issues, which are usually repeated patterns that quietly shape the emotional landscape of our families. Perhaps you’ve already noticed your child’s hesitation to connect with others, or maybe how they act out when they feel scared or uncertain. As a parent, you might even catch yourself repeating the same emotional patterns that you experienced growing up and wonder why you struggle to connect in certain ways with your child. If these things sound familiar, it might be a sign of generational attachment issues that can affect both you and your kids. Unresolved attachment issues are more than just a set of behaviors; they are deeply ingrained emotional patterns that begin in childhood. When these issues are ignored, they can have long-lasting effects, not only on us but on our children as well. The good news is that with awareness and intentional effort, these cycles can be broken. What are attachment issues, and how do they develop? Most of these issues usually start in someone’s childhood. They’re rooted in the ways children bond with their adults in their early lives. For example, you might have experienced a parent who was there for you some days, but distant or distracted on others. As a result, you grew up uncertain about whether or not you could trust others. If you didn’t have a consistent, secure emotional foundation, you might struggle with forming similar bonds with your children. This inconsistency sometimes leads to approval seeking and a constant cry for reassurance (called anxious attachment). Alternatively, you could withdraw from emotional closeness (called avoidant attachment). There are also cases [...]

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Why Go for Premarital Counseling?

Why Go for Premarital Counseling?

Dr. Barbara Orticelli, Kate Motaung2025-06-18T06:21:34+00:00June 18th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Are you thinking of getting married? Or married again? Before you make that wonderful commitment in the presence of God, it would be wise to go for premarital counseling as a couple. Facilitated by a professional and experienced counselor, you and your future spouse will be able to talk through critical issues and obtain guidance on navigating conflict or potential obstacles to a successful relationship. Biblical premarital counseling in Texas will help you and your future spouse to prepare your hearts and minds for the type of marriage that God intended and in which you both can flourish and grow together. What does God say about marriage? Unlike other contractual arrangements made by human beings, marriage is God’s institution. It is His idea and His design. The primary purpose of marriage, like the purpose of our lives in general, is actually to glorify God. It is supposed to be a living picture of Christ’s relationship with the church – a relationship that is characterized by sacrificial love as each spouse seeks the good of the other above himself or herself. Our security, happiness, and other goals for marriage are still important but they are secondary and subject to this first goal. God has designed marriage to function best according to the rules He has established and laid out for us in His Word. He is clear that it is intended to last a lifetime. Therefore, we should take marriage seriously, and find out what it requires of us. We should not rush into it without careful consideration or counsel from other trustworthy and wise Christians. The Bible acknowledges that the world and our relationships have been marred by sin and that sometimes marriages are severed by death or divorce. God makes provision for people to remarry in certain cases; [...]

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How to Forgive in Marriage

How to Forgive in Marriage

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-06-13T06:40:03+00:00June 13th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Forgiveness may be one of the hardest things you will ever do in your marriage, especially when you have been hurt deeply and feel betrayed by the one you love. It’s a whole lot easier to stay angry, to keep a mental tally of wrongdoings, and let that root of bitterness fester in your soul. But do you know what? That anger you’re feeling doesn’t help you in any way. It doesn’t help your health, physically or mentally. It doesn’t help your emotions, and it certainly doesn’t help your marriage. It only weighs down your heart, clouding your relationship and keeping you stuck. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you pretend that you weren’t hurt by what happened or that it didn’t happen at all. Forgiveness is about moving forward, letting go of anger, and finding healing together. Take, for example, Anna and Luke. They had been married for almost ten years, and recently, their marriage had been on the rocks. The tipping point came when Luke made a comment at a family gathering that deeply hurt Anna. It wasn’t the first time he’d said something carelessly, but this time, it felt like too much. Anna was furious. For weeks, every time they talked, she brought it up, lashing out in anger, even when Luke tried to apologize. Anna wasn’t just angry about that one comment. It was the accumulation of years of hurt, misunderstandings, and unspoken resentment. As she worked through the complicated emotions, Anna realized something important. She realized that she had been holding onto her anger because she felt like it was the only way she could protect herself. The problem was that her anger was not just about building a wall to protect herself. It was building a wall between her and Luke. She had walls that he [...]

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How to Avoid Creating Abandonment Issues in Relationships

How to Avoid Creating Abandonment Issues in Relationships

Amanda Osowski, Kate Motaung2025-06-07T07:25:03+00:00June 9th, 2025|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

I invite you to pause and reflect for a moment. Have you ever stopped to ask how experiences in your past have shaped your view of relationships? Maybe you find it hard to trust other people, and your belief is that people simply aren’t trustworthy. Abandonment issues in relationships are not always hard to spot. Some people find it hard to open up because they’re afraid of being disappointed or, worse, getting hurt. These and other postures in relationships come from somewhere, and often they’re connected to past experiences. There’s no doubt that our past shapes us, our expectations, our fears, and our hopes. Sometimes we are aware of this and make conscious efforts to correct any bias our past creates in future scenarios, but at other times the effects the past has on us is unknown or we are unaware. We all need to self-reflect, and beyond that, invite the Lord to heal areas of insecurity or fear that still have a hold on us. The issues that develop because of particular past experiences can vary; however, abandonment issues are common and can present in different ways depending on the person. Additionally, it’s possible to create fresh abandonment issues in a relationship by acting in certain ways toward partners. It is important to note here that abandonment can occur in romantic relationships; however, it can be present in friend or family relationships as well. No matter the type of relationship, it is important to address fears for a healthier, more secure relationship. What are abandonment issues? The ability to understand abandonment issues starts with defining what it means. The term “abandonment issues” typically refers to the intense fears that a person has, which are related to rejection, loss, or a sense of disconnection from relationships and people they [...]

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6 Keys to Improve Communication in a Relationship

6 Keys to Improve Communication in a Relationship

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-06-06T06:48:33+00:00June 6th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Is there anything simpler, and at the same time possibly more complicated than two people talking? Two people communicating with one another is the basis of a relationship, whether they are using their mouths or hands to express their meaning. The way the Lord designed us, we aren’t a race of mind readers. This necessitates finding ways to express our fears, hopes, needs, and expectations. We must improve communication – it is a vital skill to master in all areas of life. If you’re in a relationship with someone, knowing how to communicate your meaning to them is a boon for that relationship. You can avoid unnecessary misunderstandings, know how best to love your beloved, and quickly get to the heart of disagreements if your communication skills are on point. We all could use some brushing up and learning a few tips to help improve communication in our relationships. Obstacles to Good Communication It’s important to say from the start that people aren’t intentionally bad communicators. No one wants to be misunderstood and to cause avoidable friction in their relationships. No one wants to be unhappy or to make the people in their lives unhappy because of their words. Often, these things happen quite contrary to our desires. There are some obstacles to good communication that we may need greater awareness of. Some things that can stand in the way of good communication include unaddressed feelings like hurt, fear, or anger. These can prevent honest and open communication, leading instead to defensiveness, making assumptions about the other person and their state of mind, and leaning into our biases and prejudices. However, making assumptions and being biased can’t always be blamed on unaddressed feelings. Apart from these internal challenges, good communication can also be hindered by external factors. These include [...]

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Codependency and Narcissism: Differences and Similarities

Codependency and Narcissism: Differences and Similarities

Kate Motaung2025-06-03T06:49:12+00:00June 3rd, 2025|Codependency, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Codependency is a behavioral condition characterized by a need to feel purposeful and valued. Codependents are people pleasers who have difficulty setting boundaries or saying no. Their sense of self-worth is determined by whether they receive approval and validation from others. They feel driven to take care of everyone else’s needs at the expense of their own. Fear of being rejected or abandoned will lead them to engage in enabling behaviors that perpetuate the dysfunctional dynamics of their relationships. Narcissism, on the other hand, is a behavioral condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a lack of empathy for others, and a deep, unrelenting need for attention and admiration. Narcissists hold a grandiose view of themselves and desire to be the center of attention. They may resort to boasting and exaggerating about their talents and achievements to look superior, promote their own self-importance, and receive the praise and recognition they need in order to boost their ego and validate their sense of self-worth. They have no regard for anyone else’s well-being and will manipulate and exploit others to achieve their own wants and needs, without any feeling of guilt or remorse. Similarities Between Codependency and Narcissism Both codependency and narcissism tend to be byproducts of growing up in a toxic, dysfunctional family environment, and while most people think of them as opposites, they actually share several similarities, with emotional needs at their core. Codependents and narcissists both have trouble dealing with intimacy and boundaries, communicating openly, and handling criticism. They have poor self-esteem, a strong desire to feel special, seek external validation from others to maintain their sense of self-worth, and need control. Differences Between Codependency and Narcissism Both codependents and narcissists lack self-love and try to achieve it through their relationships. Their reasons and methods, however, can [...]

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Signs of Burnout at Work

Signs of Burnout at Work

Melissa Plantz2025-05-22T07:27:32+00:00May 22nd, 2025|Depression, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There once was a time when the weekend was glorious. You took care of household chores, spent time with family, read a novel or watched a movie, and worshipped God with your much-loved church family. But then, Sunday night, you felt it creeping over you. That dreaded feeling that overtakes you every Sunday night. You have hit burnout at work. As time wears on, you notice those feelings now consume your evenings and your weekends. You feel on edge, irritable, depressed, and physically ill at the thought of going back to work. Yet, you have no choice. You have bills to pay and adult responsibilities. Is something happening with you, or are these signs of burnout at work? The Signs of Burnout at Work Are you displaying the signs of burnout at work? Have coworkers commented on your mood or attitude? Do you notice your patience seems thin around customers or clients? If so, you might be in burnout mode. The following is a list of common signs of burnout at work. You feel dread the evening before work You feel like you do not fit in with the culture or the people at work You struggle to get to work and clock in Your supervisor makes comments about your lack of motivation You cannot concentrate on tasks You lose patience with coworkers, supervisors, and customers You feel exhausted Your sleep routine has changed Your appetite has changed You experience headaches, stomachaches, and other unexplainable physical ailments You snap at loved ones You feel depressed or anxious You do not feel like you contribute anything to your job Your position no longer fulfills you Job burnout can affect all areas of your life, including your physical and mental health. If your job is misaligned with your values, you will feel [...]

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Frequently Asked Questions About Toxic Marriage

Frequently Asked Questions About Toxic Marriage

Lori Askew, Kate Motaung2025-05-17T12:11:41+00:00May 19th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Intensives, Relationship Issues|

We are all imperfect human beings with flaws and weaknesses. All relationships have their ups and downs. Over time there are bound to be arguments and frustrations, intimacy may wax and wane, and your spouse may seem boring or exhibit annoying behavior, but that does not necessarily mean you’re in a toxic marriage. At the heart of any great relationship is partnership. . . . If you’re dealing with an opponent instead of a partner, that’s toxic. – Wendy Newman A healthy marriage is built on trust, cooperation, and open, honest communication that enables you and your spouse to talk through issues respectfully. Both of you are willing to accept some of the responsibility when things go wrong, and to look at things from your partner’s perspective. In a healthy marriage, spouses do not often get unpredictably upset over minor issues. They care about each other’s well-being, try to meet one another’s needs, and provide each other with emotional support. What is the difference between a difficult marriage and a toxic marriage? The main difference between a toxic marriage and a difficult one is that you can grow in a difficult marriage and learn to become more patient, understanding, and unassuming. In a toxic marriage, however, spouses do not support one another, and the discord goes far beyond an occasional rough patch. A toxic marriage is destructive and damaging to your physical health as well as to your mental and emotional well-being. It is marked by persistent conflict, disrespect, and attacks on your character as your spouse frequently tries to undermine you. Negative experiences far outweigh any positive ones, and you feel as though you are being destroyed. What are the signs of a toxic marriage? You may experience any or all of these signs: The relationship feels draining [...]

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