Conflict is inevitable in any place where people meet together daily. In a workplace, agreements and progress coexist with personality clashes and other issues that you might feel unqualified to handle as a manager. No matter the amount of training and experience you have, you will face conflict in the workplace at some point, and you might struggle to deal with it.
By nature, being in a management position means being a bridge between different departments and levels of leadership, as well as a bridge between workers when they are divided over an issue. While you might have departments like Human Resources and leaders in upper management for support, there will be times when you must step into the role of mediator.
Part of your job is to ensure that conflict is resolved and progress can continue. Sometimes you will feel stretched beyond your capacity as you focus on your personal responsibilities and goals, while motivating, directing, and confronting workers in your department.
Conflict in the workplace is not only common, but it is often normal and sometimes even healthy. It can show that people are affected by the events that take place in the workplace, and are unwilling to let go, give up, or walk away. On the other hand, conflict in the workplace will lead to bigger issues and deeper hurt unless you step in and take control of the situation.
Mediating conflict is a learned skill that needs to be practiced regularly. Many managers face personal struggles in this area. If you are willing to be self-reflective and unbiased when approaching and confronting conflict, it will help.
Always a Personal Issue
Even when conflict in the workplace does not involve you and require your leadership, it still impacts you emotionally and mentally. You might not realize the degree to which it has affected you, because there are usually many other things happening, and conflict between workers cannot be your primary focus. However, a healthy place to start when talking about conflict in the workplace is to consider how you are affected by it.
Simply witnessing and having to mediate ongoing conflict in the workplace contributes to your stress, anxiety, and feelings of isolation. This can impact your work performance, confidence, and self-esteem, leading to burnout.
Most workplaces have guidelines and training for conflict resolution, but some conflicts are more involved, get personal, and demand much from you. When conflict in the workplace gets personal and is caused by or directed toward you as the manager, it is all the more intense.
In the back of their mind, many people know that workplace conflict is inevitable. However, conflict often still feels like a frustrating distraction from issues that seem more important. As a manager, you can’t afford to ignore or brush aside conflict or hope that it will resolve on its own. This will not only impede work progress, but it will also likely impact you even more than it would if you had intervened.
Even if you feel like you have managed to compartmentalize the conflict and leave it at work, it follows you home and seeps into conversations, no matter how much you try to ignore it.
Bigtime Burnout
Chief among the issues that contribute to workplace burnout is unresolved conflict in the workplace. Burnout is the result of exhaustion, long-term frustration, and unceasing anxiety. Like a car that runs out of gas and has a range of other issues, people exposed to ongoing conflict become too tired to deal with it anymore.
There comes a point of no return. You have lost your workers’ confidence and dedication as soon as they stop caring about the issue that is causing conflict. The thing that brings them to this point is usually feeling their needs have not been met, their concerns left unheard, and their perspective has been disregarded.
In a way, workplace conflict is an opportunity to prove to your teammates and workers how invested you are in their well-being by stepping in to mediate a solution. Unresolved conflict can lead to burnout, but it can also offer the opportunity to level up your leadership skills.
Navigating Conflict in the Workplace
There are countless methods for handling workplace conflict, and the best one might be a combination of many different strategies. However, there are several things that must happen each time there is conflict if there is to be resolution and progress.
Be mindful of issues like harassment and bullying that must be handled by Human Resources or a similar department. Issues like these are deeper than personal tension and communication issues. The first step in handling workplace conflict, therefore, is to identify the nature of the conflict and determine whether or not you need to involve other leaders or a different department.
Issues like communication problems, disagreements, and personality clashes are something in which you, as a manager, must intervene. It is also vital to deal with issues like these promptly. The time between noticing an issue and handling it can affect how successful you are in resolving it. The more time that passes, the more likely things will escalate, and emotions will become further complicated.
If the issue is personal, where a worker has an issue with you or an aspect of your leadership, address that person in a private setting. Although it is a personal issue, try to leave your ego out of the conversation. Establish privacy and confidentiality with them and then listen to their grievances. This is an opportunity for growth, but only if you are not defensive or emotionally dysregulated.
After hearing what they have to say, here are three helpful questions you can ask them, which will maintain a professional focus while also showing you care about what they have shared. Ask them what they expected of you as a leader, ask them what they observed of you, and ask them what the consequences were.
These questions address your performance as a manager, which is what you should be discussing, and not your personal failings. If the issue they brought involves your personality, the best you can do is to acknowledge what they have shared and apologize if necessary.
If you are mediating a conflict between two or a group of workers, begin by explaining what will happen. Each one will share and be heard in turn, during which time everyone else involved will be silent and listen to what is being said. Ultimately, those in conflict with each other will present a solution to the problem one at a time. After everyone has aired their grievances, you will ask if anyone wants to step up and take responsibility for their part in the issue.
If necessary or helpful, remind them of any company values or goals that are relevant to the situation. This will redirect their focus onto the big picture and remind them that they are a team working together toward a singular goal, each with a role to play.
This is the moment where you ask them to start brainstorming solutions. It’s important that you don’t provide solutions or answers, because the resolution will only be meaningful if they work together for it.
Finally, follow up on the issue within a few days. Depending on the situation, you could follow up in a day or throughout the week. Let them work out the plan they decide on, and be on hand to provide anything they might need going forward. Conflict in the workplace can be taxing, but it can also be an opportunity for growth and sincere progress. Go forward with humility, patience, and focus, and you can’t go wrong.
Leadership can be lonely at times. It often feels like you have to support others while receiving nothing for yourself. You could find support by incorporating counseling into your regimen. Explore the online directory of counselors where you can find someone who can help.
Photo:
“Group of Friends”, Courtesy of Brooke Cagle, Unsplash.com, CC0 License
- Ronald Jenkins: Author
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