Marriage Counseling Archives | Rockwall Christian Counseling

What is Infidelity? The Nature and Impact

What is Infidelity? The Nature and Impact

Kate Motaung2024-09-27T10:42:24+00:00November 13th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The best of relationships isn’t perfect. Even happy couples have their fair share of squabbles, miscommunication, or points of frustration. Of the many challenges to a relationship that a couple can encounter, infidelity is likely one of the more distressing. According to recent statistics, infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce. Around 60% of couples cite a partner’s unfaithfulness as a reason their marriage ended. Getting a handle on what infidelity is and why it affects a marriage so deeply will help couples navigate these tricky waters if they ever find themselves there. Marriage has boundaries. In our culture, relationships take a variety of shapes and are meant to meet different needs. Marriage is, at least from a Christian perspective, a monogamous relationship that brings a man and a woman into a lifelong commitment. This commitment and mutual love are a mirror of the love and respect shared between Jesus Christ and the Church. Marital faithfulness is a reminder and picture of the exclusive relationship Jesus has with His people (Ephesians 5:22-33). The reality of this is why, whenever God’s people decide to worship anything other than God, it is called spiritual adultery (1 John 2:15-17; James 4:4-5; Jeremiah 3:20). Our marriages give us a reference point and language for understanding what is happening when we worship something that isn’t the Creator. It marks the marriage relationship itself as a distinct relationship that’s meant to be exclusive. In this situation, when one party fails to fulfill the obligation of exclusivity, trust can be lost, and the marriage may be irretrievably broken. Even for relationships that don’t fit the pattern of Christian marriage, the relationship has some sort of boundary whose transgression implies infidelity. There is an innate sense that certain relationships require exclusivity of some kind to [...]

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From the Heart: Healing Communication from the Inside Out

From the Heart: Healing Communication from the Inside Out

Kate Motaung2024-09-27T10:41:42+00:00May 9th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

It is impossible to navigate this life without communication with other humans. Connection and the need for it are what bring people together. The lack of it, unfortunately, is often what can drive a wedge, forcing apart the closest of relationships. Our connection is enhanced by communication, that is the release and receipt of messages, both verbal and non-verbal. We employ sounds, gestures, and facial expressions to convey our meaning and gather messages in our communication with others. Somewhere in our contact with others, we will encounter conflict. As much as we might try to circumvent it, it can seem impossible. Billions of people populate the world, though one God created and formed each of us in His image. Yet as consistent as He is, He created us with such diversity. Within the realm of differences, we sometimes butt up against each other. Instead of our difference being a place where we celebrate the Father’s various facets of His person into humanity, we long for sameness. We enter a conflict ourselves, wanting to fit in and be like others. Yet, when we interact with others who are not like us, we persecute them as being inherently wrong. Essentially, pride and fear are at work, persuading us to make others over in our image instead of celebrating God’s image in each of us. This prompts us to spar with each other, leading to contention instead of cultivating connection, and gaining the traction to release more of the knowledge of God’s glory into the earth. Communication to solve people problems. While it seems that this clamoring would be a “world” problem, far too often, those of us who are members of the worldwide church war and fight one another unnecessarily. This isn’t new; it’s an age-old people problem. Several of the apostles [...]

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Reasons People Remain in Harmful Relationships

Reasons People Remain in Harmful Relationships

Kate Motaung2024-09-27T10:42:15+00:00January 14th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Sometimes, despite our best intentions, we remain in unhealthy or even harmful relationships for much longer than we should. It’s not because we’re addicted to the mayhem or because we enjoy being mistreated; neither of those things are true. There is a possibility that we occasionally catch a glimpse of a sliver of hope that things are going to turn out better in the future. When we look at our partner and the dynamics of the relationship through a lens of compassion and hope, we may miss warning signs in our relationship that are obvious to others. This may be the case because we are looking at our partner through this lens. The results of our principles and beliefs in relationships. We have a wide variety of beliefs about ourselves and others, all of which influence the decisions we make. We might think that if our partner gets the right kind of assistance or support, they can realize their full potential and that it is our responsibility to provide that assistance and support. We may worry that our departure would cause them harm or that our partner’s situation would deteriorate in our absence. If we were to break up with this person, it would mean the end of our dreams because it would mean we would no longer be committed to pursuing them. Perhaps we feel that our primary responsibility is to provide care and healing to others, even if this causes us to lose sight of our own needs. We may be uncomfortable with the idea of breaking off a relationship due to unfulfilled wants and needs because we don’t want to be seen as selfish. New information and how we handle it in relationships. Cognitive dissonance is something that can affect us when we are in a [...]

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How to Improve Your Listening Skills in Marriage

How to Improve Your Listening Skills in Marriage

Kate Motaung2024-09-27T10:41:33+00:00January 3rd, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

To improve listening skills in your marriage, you need to understand the reasons why you can miss significant details in what your partner is saying, even though you believe that you are listening. Why do misunderstandings happen? Misunderstandings can happen for a variety of reasons. Here are a few common problems that lead to misunderstandings in marriage. You are preoccupied, exhausted, or both: Imagine you are thinking about a problem you had at work while the children are screaming and the television is blasting at full volume. Now your partner has started talking to you about how they expect company later in the evening. You give a satisfied nod and say okay, but were you paying attention to what was being said? Likely not. You make assumptions: A damaging attempt at mind reading, assumptions can cause a lot of trouble in a relationship. A common way this occurs is when you think that there is a secret meaning to the words that your spouse has said. In reality, you may be reading too much into the situation. Ever-shortening attention spans: A measly eight seconds is considered to be the average attention span of a human being. That means you can lose focus quickly when your spouse is talking to you, often without even realizing it. There are, however, ways to get better at this and become a good listener when you are speaking with the important people in your life, particularly your partner. Sometimes it’s difficult to listen to what each other has to say. There are so many demands that are placed on us by life, and it always seems as though a million things are competing for our attention, such as our jobs, our hobbies, our friends, and our children. Because of this, you and the other [...]

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