Family Counseling Archives | Rockwall Christian Counseling

Adventures in Parenting: Addressing Resentment, Burnout, and the Shame of Parenting Fatigue

Adventures in Parenting: Addressing Resentment, Burnout, and the Shame of Parenting Fatigue

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2024-11-13T10:46:27+00:00August 16th, 2024|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Parenting is one job where we are constantly “on.” Being a mom or dad can feel like a thankless endeavor. Unlike paid employment, it doesn’t build in its own breaks or allow us to renegotiate our compensation. While there are many sweet and tender moments, child rearing is sometimes saturated with the mundane. In some seasons, the hum of laundry, dishes, and the rhythms of running a household drone on while our own resolve fades in weariness and parenting fatigue. In other times, the whirlwind of parent and kid activity escalates as we juggle chores, homework, careers, and the stressors associated with raising a family in a turbulent world. We can become inundated with pressure to get ahead of the frenetic pace, then ashamed that we feel resentful of the families we love. Some days we may be uncertain if tantrums, whether our own or that of our kids, are steamrolling us over the edge of grace. As God-appointed leaders in our homes, we must be intentional to build respite into our rhythms to preserve our peace and well-being. Otherwise, we combust and burn out, bringing catastrophe to our families and ourselves. Parenting fatigue is real. Sometimes, the seasons we face squeeze the essence of every spiritual fruit, testing patience and stretching faith beyond what we feel is our capacity. The strain of life and the chaos of bursting schedules wear us out, dulling the edge of our effectiveness. When mental states fray and emotions escalate, it is difficult for us to be present with ourselves, let alone fully available to the children we love. In defiance, stress levels shriek, releasing a cry for help that shows up in us and our kids through potentially destructive behaviors, if left unchecked. While God created us to have full lives and [...]

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Teaching Your Child How to Control Anger Well

Teaching Your Child How to Control Anger Well

Kate Motaung2024-10-29T17:19:47+00:00March 18th, 2024|Anger Issues, Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

When a child is born, they have a lot of things to figure out about themselves and the world around them. Everything, from moving about to eating, to playing, to communicating with others must all be learned. Another important part of what a child needs to learn is how to experience and express their emotions well, especially learning to control anger. Being able to regulate and express one’s emotions well has a positive impact on relationships and personal well-being. One of the key tasks of a parent or caregiver is to help a child understand their own emotions and to know what the most appropriate ways of expressing those emotions are. Much of this happens in the early, formative years of the child, though we are always growing and learning how to do better. Reasons children get angry When the words “temper tantrum” are uttered, more likely than not, the image that pops into our heads is a flailing, screaming child in the grocery store or park. Parents often wonder if their child’s behavior is normal, and they can find themselves thinking long and hard about what they can do to help their child. Younger children, below the age of four, can have multiple tantrums in a week. These can include kicking, crying, stomping, and pushing. As a child grows older, they ought to outgrow this behavior. There are many reasons a child gets angry, including the following: Family dysfunction and parenting styles A harsh parenting style that does not consider the child’s needs and personality, or parenting that is inconsistent can lead to a child exhibiting anger and aggression. Genetics This and other biological factors can play a role in a child displaying anger and aggression. Frustration Like any adult, children can get angry when their expectations and [...]

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Dealing with Anxiety in Adolescence

Dealing with Anxiety in Adolescence

Sandra Stein2024-09-27T10:35:17+00:00January 23rd, 2024|Anxiety, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

Adolescence is a vulnerable period between childhood and adulthood marked by a rapidly changing body and fluctuating hormones. Anxiety is a natural response as teenagers try to adjust to these changes, figure out their identity, become more independent, try new things and deal with a major life transition. It is a deluge of newness. They may not yet be fully equipped to handle these added responsibilities and pressures as their brain is still developing and will not reach full physiological maturation until they are in their twenties. Anxiety in adolescence becomes cause for concern when it is excessive and irrational, and interferes with your teen’s school performance, sleep, social interactions, and ability to go about daily life. Things that cause anxiety in adolescence. There are countless things that contribute to anxiety in adolescence. From parental expectation to conform to their parents’ value system or pressure to succeed, to the demands they, their teachers, and society may put on them to meet societal norms, worry can spin out of control. As they attempt to juggle school, friends, and activities, they become overwhelmed. Much like newborns and babies, adolescents require more sleep than people in other stages of life. With all the activities, commitments, and young adult responsibilities, sleep deprivation significantly impacts a young person’s ability to cope with all that is going on in their lives, particularly when they overextend themselves, trying to do too much. Likewise, shame haunts and drives anxiety. Whether an adolescent fails in a competitive environment or just fears it, they can feel overwhelmed with life. How they are perceived by others, what they believe others think of them, peer pressure, concerns of body image, inadequate feelings driven by social media, all drive anxiety and fear about being humiliated and embarrassed. Physical and hormonal changes fuel [...]

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Breaking the Generational Cycle of Emotional Wounds in Families

Breaking the Generational Cycle of Emotional Wounds in Families

Sandra Stein2024-09-27T10:35:02+00:00January 4th, 2024|Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Emotional wounds are caused by the deep psychological pain of being hurt by someone you love. Your mind does not differentiate between physical and emotional pain. Both register in the same part of your brain. However, unlike physical wounds such as a broken leg that others can see and empathize with, emotional wounds are often kept hidden or minimized. We try to cope by creating defense mechanisms that, instead of healing the wound, subconsciously create situations that cause us to feel wounded repeatedly. Left unaddressed, emotional wounds tend to grow deeper and fester, causing trust issues, damaging your feelings of self-worth, and negatively impacting your thoughts, beliefs, actions, and the way you interact with others. They can also get passed down from one generation to another, causing a cycle of pain that perpetuates itself and continues to affect the family’s dynamics and emotional health. Inter-generationality. Children unwittingly pick up on and internalize their parents’ sense of self-worth. No matter how much you may love your child(ren), or how good the guidance and advice you give them is as you try to teach them the important lessons of life, it is not enough to break the cycle. If you are still carrying around unhealed emotional wounds from your childhood that have not been addressed and dealt with, you will inadvertently model and pass them on to your children as well. Examples of things that can cause emotional wounds. Being lied to or betrayed. Injustice. Humiliation or shame. Abandonment. Physical or emotional neglect. Lack of emotional connection. Real or perceived rejection. Verbal or physical abuse. Invasion of privacy. Having one’s possessions stolen or destroyed. Breaking the cycle of emotional wounds in families. Acknowledge the pain. The first step to breaking the cycle is to recognize and acknowledge the emotional wound. Talk [...]

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How Codependency Affects Children

How Codependency Affects Children

Jennifer Kooshian2024-09-27T10:48:55+00:00November 16th, 2023|Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Codependency, Family Counseling, Featured|

Within the family, codependency can have a significant impact on children. From their emotional well-being and development to current and future relationships, codependency has a deep impact on how children grow to view themselves and others. Codependent behavior can feel complex, which is why it is helpful to understand how codependency can influence children. Codependency can be a learned behavior. One of the most significant modes of learning for children is copying what they see. As a child observes their parents, they learn about how to behave and interact with others. When a parent models codependent behavior, children learn unhealthy behaviors by observing the parent. Witnessing codependent behaviors can lead children to internalize these patterns. The patterns they learn can end up affecting future relationships as children carry them into their teen years and adulthood. The emotional impact of codependency. Every child experiences different emotions based on their unique tendencies, how they are raised, and the circumstances in which they live. When a child grows up in a codependent household they can sometimes feel responsible for the well-being of their parent or another family member. This can lead to experiencing an array of emotions, including confusion, anxiety, guilt, shame, and resentment. Loss of individuality from codependency. As a child grows up in a codependent home, they learn to prioritize the needs of others over their own. This shifts the focus from developing a sense of self as they are always concerned about the other person. As the child grows they may find it difficult to form their own identity. Codependency leads to a lack of boundaries. The lines between personal boundaries are often blurred in codependent relationships. The lack of personal boundaries being modeled for the child can make it difficult to understand how to implement them later in [...]

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Do Christian Online Counseling Services Work

Do Christian Online Counseling Services Work

Melissa Plantz2024-09-27T10:38:06+00:00August 16th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Online counseling or traditional face-to-face counseling? How do you choose? Are online counseling services effective? Research shows that people respond to virtual counseling well and are more likely to adhere to attendance. In addition, being able to log on with a counselor on their schedule makes virtual counseling suitable for today’s busy Americans. Why people choose online counseling services. Our world is fast and busy. We may rise at 4:00 a.m. and fight sleep past midnight trying to do one more thing. People choose online counseling services for convenience. We already tote around our phones for everything, including checking emails, texts, social media, news, and calls. Online counseling services through a cell, tablet, or laptop are not a stretch of the imagination. With the virtual option, you have a counselor right in your pocket. Researchers are finding that online counseling is just as effective as in-person counseling. However, the effects of face-to-face interaction may last longer and have a more positive outcome. If you have a severe mental condition, you may need in-person counseling until your condition is under control. Many people try a hybrid approach. For example, a client may meet with their counselor once or twice monthly for a face-to-face session so that the counselor can gauge the client’s behavioral cues. The counselor may then arrange for the client to meet with them virtually once a week as a check-in session. The client might also email or text for extra support when needed. Forms of therapy. Your counselor will assess your needs and determine the best course of action to help you heal or work through an issue. Psychotherapy (talk therapy) is still the most common form of treatment. The counselor helps you get to the root of your negative thoughts, emotions, or behavior. They may suggest [...]

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How ADHD in Children Can Make Life More Complicated

How ADHD in Children Can Make Life More Complicated

Kate Motaung2024-09-27T10:42:35+00:00June 5th, 2023|ADHD/ADD, Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

If your child is restless, impulsive, and has trouble concentrating, you may jump to the conclusion that he or she has attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Read on to better understand ADHD in children. ADHD in children Many little children leap before they look. They run and jump, scream and shout, trip and get up again. They sometimes struggle to hear the directions given on how to complete a task, and even once started, there is no guarantee that they will finish the job. ADHD is different from the very normal stages of emotional and cognitive development children grow through as they age. While symptoms can be noticed earlier, ADHD in children often becomes especially pronounced when the child is faced with change, such as starting school or moving home. ADHD in children is often revealed when the child is unusually active, with the tendency to squirm in his or her seat or fidget with whatever is in front of him or her. Listening to, understanding, and following instructions seem to be abnormally difficult. The child with ADHD is characterized by careless mistakes, being absentminded and forgetful, unorganized, and hyperactive. Most cases of ADHD are recognized when the child is younger than 12 years old, although it can be diagnosed later in life, even as an adult. While the symptoms of ADHD most times get better with age, most adults with ADHD were recognized to have it while children and continue to experience the limitations the condition forces upon them. ADHD can also be seen in seemingly unrelated problems such as trouble sleeping or suffering from anxiety. How to assist children with ADHD It is natural for most children to at times feel restless or bored – and this does not predispose them to ADHD. If you are concerned [...]

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