Couples Counseling Archives | Rockwall Christian Counseling

Frequently Asked Questions About Toxic Marriage

Frequently Asked Questions About Toxic Marriage

Lori Askew, Kate Motaung2025-05-17T12:11:41+00:00May 19th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Intensives, Relationship Issues|

We are all imperfect human beings with flaws and weaknesses. All relationships have their ups and downs. Over time there are bound to be arguments and frustrations, intimacy may wax and wane, and your spouse may seem boring or exhibit annoying behavior, but that does not necessarily mean you’re in a toxic marriage. At the heart of any great relationship is partnership. . . . If you’re dealing with an opponent instead of a partner, that’s toxic. – Wendy Newman A healthy marriage is built on trust, cooperation, and open, honest communication that enables you and your spouse to talk through issues respectfully. Both of you are willing to accept some of the responsibility when things go wrong, and to look at things from your partner’s perspective. In a healthy marriage, spouses do not often get unpredictably upset over minor issues. They care about each other’s well-being, try to meet one another’s needs, and provide each other with emotional support. What is the difference between a difficult marriage and a toxic marriage? The main difference between a toxic marriage and a difficult one is that you can grow in a difficult marriage and learn to become more patient, understanding, and unassuming. In a toxic marriage, however, spouses do not support one another, and the discord goes far beyond an occasional rough patch. A toxic marriage is destructive and damaging to your physical health as well as to your mental and emotional well-being. It is marked by persistent conflict, disrespect, and attacks on your character as your spouse frequently tries to undermine you. Negative experiences far outweigh any positive ones, and you feel as though you are being destroyed. What are the signs of a toxic marriage? You may experience any or all of these signs: The relationship feels draining [...]

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Understanding and Working Through a Sexless Marriage

Understanding and Working Through a Sexless Marriage

Kate Motaung2025-05-06T07:14:03+00:00May 6th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

A marriage is a little bit like a tree. A tree takes root in soil of varying quality, and it gets exposed to the elements like sun, wind, and rain. Sometimes the tree gets too much sun, or it gets battered by fierce winds, it gets too much water in a flash flood, or too little of it during a drought. In the same way, the tree can get just the right amount of what it needs so that it flourishes. The story of a tree can be seen when you check the rings in its trunk. A marriage brings two people together, typically in happy circumstances, and the two want to spend their lives together making each other happy. The couple goes through any number of circumstances, like grief and loss of loved ones or cherished dreams, financial woes, health issues, disagreements, joyous celebrations, new beginnings, accomplishing goals like paying off the mortgage or traveling, etc. Some marriages come to the point where sexual intimacy has all but evaporated, and that in itself poses several challenges for the couple. How does a marriage become sexless, and is there a way to turn things around? The good news is that there are ways for a couple to flourish and strengthen their relationship, deepening their intimacy and sense of connection. What is a sexless marriage? It’s more than likely that when two people meet and decide to get married, they feel passion for each other. Often, the couple can’t keep their hands off each other, which can be problematic since they need to wait until after their nuptials to consummate the relationship. In ways that will be described shortly, a relationship can remain intact but with the sense of intimacy and connection lost. There are different ways to understand what [...]

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Can a Christian Marriage Survive Infidelity?

Can a Christian Marriage Survive Infidelity?

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-04-15T06:54:28+00:00April 15th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

For many people, the discovery of infidelity marks the end of any happily ever after in their marriage. But Christians who are taught that marriage is for life and that divorce is wrong may find themselves in a difficult position when they discover that their partner has been unfaithful to them. Whichever path a person may choose, many challenges will lie ahead. It is important not to rush into big decisions without prayer and careful consideration of everything. What is infidelity? Infidelity is when one partner in a relationship is unfaithful to the other. Adultery is considered to be a serious breach of the marriage covenant and is seen as both a sin against the spouse and a sin against God. In the Bible, it is seen as a broader category than just the physical sexual act. It also includes an individual’s unfaithful desires and thoughts (Matthew 5:27-30). One of the challenges of talking about infidelity is that individual spouses and couples may have different understandings of infidelity. For instance, is it okay to watch pornography, or to reach out and connect with a former partner on social media? Some couples will have had these important conversations during premarital counseling or afterward to establish firm boundaries in their relationship. Infidelity can thus take the form of emotional or physical acts of infidelity that violate boundaries the couple has set for themselves. For a Christian couple, infidelity may include things that the couple may consider okay, but Scripture addresses and says otherwise. As such, from a Christian perspective, there is no such thing as an open marriage (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:3-6; Proverbs 5; 6:20-35; 1 Corinthians 6:12-20). What does the Bible say about infidelity? In the well-known Ten Commandments, the first laws given to the nation of Israel, we find [...]

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5 Ways Infidelity Can Impact a Marriage

5 Ways Infidelity Can Impact a Marriage

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-03-26T12:01:30+00:00March 18th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Infidelity can be devastating to marriage. Couples can have difficulty having a healthy relationship after cheating has occurred. This is because infidelity can inflict emotional, physical, and mental damage to the victim. Additionally, suppose a person is unrepentant or blames the other for the infidelity. In that case, it can cause additional problems because the victim may feel misplaced shame or guilt due to what happened. Infidelity’s Impact on a Marriage Although infidelity can be a deal breaker in a marriage, it doesn’t always have to be. However, infidelity can impact many areas of marriage. Here are five areas in which infidelity can affect a marriage: Finances One way infidelity can impact your marriage is the strain that financial issues can have if the marriage ends. If one spouse is the primary breadwinner and helps provide for the other spouse, the other spouse may find that they need to get a job quickly. However, if they’ve been out of the workforce due to having children or lacking skills, they may find it challenging to find a well-paying job that will help meet their needs like their partner did. Additionally, an unfaithful person may become bitter because the relationship ended. Because of the shame and guilt they feel about what they did, they may hesitate to want to provide financial compensation to the other spouse. The spouse who is caring for the children may find themselves struggling because the other person who was unfaithful doesn’t want to pay them because they feel they may not be responsible for the termination of their relationship. A spouse who struggles to make ends meet after infidelity may need the help and support of family and friends. They may also need the help and support of people who can come and help them get [...]

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On the Road to Getting Married: Premarital Counseling in Rockwall, Texas

On the Road to Getting Married: Premarital Counseling in Rockwall, Texas

Jennifer Kooshian2025-03-26T12:32:08+00:00March 17th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There are many stops along the way to your wedding day. Finding the person you want to be with is a crucial step, and once you’ve gone through the awkward (or amazing!) first date, shared beautiful moments, shared even more amazing moments, and built trust and a meaningful connection, you may be getting the idea that this person is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. At this point, you may be ready for premarital counseling in Rockwall, Texas. Whenever it is that you decide that you want to be serious with someone and perhaps take your relationship toward marriage, premarital counseling in Rockwall, Texas is a good stop to make along the way. It’s an important building block with a lot of value for your relationship. What’s the deal with premarital counseling? Premarital counseling at Texas Christian Counseling in Rockwall is a form of talk therapy that’s geared at couples who are, in one way or another, thinking about marriage. Couples might go for this kind of counseling before they take the step to get engaged, but other couples get engaged first and then it. The goal of this type of counseling is to help couples talk through issues and questions in a way that will adequately prepare them for marriage. When you go for premarital counseling at Texas Christian Counseling in Rockwall, it’s not simply another task on a presumably long to-do list relating to the wedding and life beyond that amazing day. Premarital counseling is important because it creates intentional space to address things that the couple may not have considered; things that have a direct impact on how their married life will progress. Your premarital counselor in Rockwall, Texas may ask you a variety of questions, including what your understanding [...]

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Overcoming Anger and Resentment in Marriage

Overcoming Anger and Resentment in Marriage

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-02-13T12:02:05+00:00February 12th, 2025|Anger Issues, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Resentment is a slow fade. It has the potential to creep into your marriage, drain out the love and leave you feeling bitter and angry toward your spouse. But, did you know that when you approach resentment correctly it can be a catalyst to address key relationship issues and solidify an even stronger marriage? Getting a Clear Understanding of Resentment in Marriage Defined by some dictionaries as a feeling of anger because you have been forced to accept something that you do not like, resentment in marriage happens when there is a buildup of negative feelings between your spouse and yourself. You may feel harmed, ignored, disappointed, deceived, or poorly treated. This feeling is toxic to any relationship, especially as one precious as a marriage, and will, over time, poison the mutual love, trust, and respect necessary for it to be successful. The hurt that you experience because your partner has purposefully or accidentally broken the agreements of your relationship is a broad but effective way to understand why resentment starts to form. Unmet expectations at various levels have an equally corrosive effect. Perhaps it is the manner you are treated, how you thought your marriage would mature, or the characteristics of the life you are building together. The hurt solidifies into disappointment, frustration, and anger toward your spouse. How Resentment in Marriage Starts Off Imagine your marriage relationship as a beautiful, exotic motorcar. Resplendent in design and function. You and your spouse love it and treasure it. While you are both out driving, a loose piece of gravel flicks up and nicks the glass on the windshield. That evening you look at it and see that it has left a chip but not much more. You decide that because he was behind the wheel when it happened, he should [...]

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Why Do Codependent Relationships Happen? Signs of Codependency

Why Do Codependent Relationships Happen? Signs of Codependency

Wade Van Staden2024-09-27T10:36:31+00:00July 19th, 2024|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Codependent relationships are when two people are excessively reliant on one other for a combination of emotional, mental, practical, and spiritual support. Together they develop a sort of imbalanced rhythm of give and take, with one person caring, giving, and nurturing while the other receives, controls, and directs. On the surface, these kinds of agreements might look copasetic, and it can be difficult to even detect the signs of codependency. Eventually, though, codependent partnerships are damaging and draining for those involved. Why do codependent relationships happen? People are complex and everyone is carrying around varying degrees of trauma. There could be events and experiences from as far back as childhood that have affected us and shaped the way we connect with others. For example, if our parents were neglectful of us as children, we might grow up with an anxious attachment style, meaning that we fear being alone or abandoned. We learned at an early age that it is possible to be forgotten about, and we developed ways of manipulating people’s attention and affection to avoid being left alone again. Sometimes it happens that we meet someone who has trauma or experiences similar to our own. Behind most codependent relationships is a fear of abandonment, low self-esteem, an inability to express emotions and needs, and an unwillingness to face problems. Some people are naturally empathetic and find genuine meaning in giving and serving others. When this instinct is combined with a fear of abandonment or emotional insecurity, however, those empathetic motivations become selfish. That person might be showing kindness simply to manipulate people into liking them. On the other hand, some people are narcissistic and have an elevated opinion of themselves. To others, they might appear confident and self-assured, but they, too, often have a fear of neglect or [...]

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What is Infidelity? The Nature and Impact

What is Infidelity? The Nature and Impact

Kate Motaung2025-01-08T06:53:23+00:00November 13th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

The best of relationships isn’t perfect. Even happy couples have their fair share of squabbles, miscommunication, or points of frustration. Of the many challenges to a relationship that a couple can encounter, infidelity is likely one of the more distressing. According to recent statistics, infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce. Around 60% of couples cite a partner’s unfaithfulness as a reason their marriage ended. Getting a handle on what infidelity is and why it affects a marriage so deeply will help couples navigate these tricky waters if they ever find themselves there. Marriage has boundaries. In our culture, relationships take a variety of shapes and are meant to meet different needs. Marriage is, at least from a Christian perspective, a monogamous relationship that brings a man and a woman into a lifelong commitment. This commitment and mutual love are a mirror of the love and respect shared between Jesus Christ and the Church. Marital faithfulness is a reminder and picture of the exclusive relationship Jesus has with His people (Ephesians 5:22-33). The reality of this is why, whenever God’s people decide to worship anything other than God, it is called spiritual adultery (1 John 2:15-17; James 4:4-5; Jeremiah 3:20). Our marriages give us a reference point and language for understanding what is happening when we worship something that isn’t the Creator. It marks the marriage relationship itself as a distinct relationship that’s meant to be exclusive. In this situation, when one party fails to fulfill the obligation of exclusivity, trust can be lost, and the marriage may be irretrievably broken. Even for relationships that don’t fit the pattern of Christian marriage, the relationship has some sort of boundary whose transgression implies infidelity. There is an innate sense that certain relationships require exclusivity of some kind to [...]

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Do Christian Online Counseling Services Work

Do Christian Online Counseling Services Work

Melissa Plantz2024-09-27T10:38:06+00:00August 16th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Online counseling or traditional face-to-face counseling? How do you choose? Are online counseling services effective? Research shows that people respond to virtual counseling well and are more likely to adhere to attendance. In addition, being able to log on with a counselor on their schedule makes virtual counseling suitable for today’s busy Americans. Why people choose online counseling services. Our world is fast and busy. We may rise at 4:00 a.m. and fight sleep past midnight trying to do one more thing. People choose online counseling services for convenience. We already tote around our phones for everything, including checking emails, texts, social media, news, and calls. Online counseling services through a cell, tablet, or laptop are not a stretch of the imagination. With the virtual option, you have a counselor right in your pocket. Researchers are finding that online counseling is just as effective as in-person counseling. However, the effects of face-to-face interaction may last longer and have a more positive outcome. If you have a severe mental condition, you may need in-person counseling until your condition is under control. Many people try a hybrid approach. For example, a client may meet with their counselor once or twice monthly for a face-to-face session so that the counselor can gauge the client’s behavioral cues. The counselor may then arrange for the client to meet with them virtually once a week as a check-in session. The client might also email or text for extra support when needed. Forms of therapy. Your counselor will assess your needs and determine the best course of action to help you heal or work through an issue. Psychotherapy (talk therapy) is still the most common form of treatment. The counselor helps you get to the root of your negative thoughts, emotions, or behavior. They may suggest [...]

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From the Heart: Healing Communication from the Inside Out

From the Heart: Healing Communication from the Inside Out

Kate Motaung2025-01-16T13:51:08+00:00May 9th, 2023|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

It is impossible to navigate this life without communication with other humans. Connection and the need for it are what bring people together. The lack of it, unfortunately, is often what can drive a wedge, forcing apart the closest of relationships. Our connection is enhanced by communication, that is the release and receipt of messages, both verbal and non-verbal. We employ sounds, gestures, and facial expressions to convey our meaning and gather messages in our communication with others. Somewhere in our contact with others, we will encounter conflict. As much as we might try to circumvent it, it can seem impossible. Billions of people populate the world, though one God created and formed each of us in His image. Yet as consistent as He is, He created us with such diversity. Within the realm of differences, we sometimes butt up against each other. Instead of our difference being a place where we celebrate the Father’s various facets of His person into humanity, we long for sameness. We enter a conflict ourselves, wanting to fit in and be like others. Yet, when we interact with others who are not like us, we persecute them as being inherently wrong. Essentially, pride and fear are at work, persuading us to make others over in our image instead of celebrating God’s image in each of us. This prompts us to spar with each other, leading to contention instead of cultivating connection, and gaining the traction to release more of the knowledge of God’s glory into the earth. Communication to solve people problems While it seems that this clamoring would be a “world” problem, far too often, those of us who are members of the worldwide church war and fight one another unnecessarily. This isn’t new; it’s an age-old people problem. Several of the apostles [...]

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