Couples Counseling Archives | Rockwall Christian Counseling

Why Go for Premarital Counseling?

Why Go for Premarital Counseling?

Dr. Barbara Orticelli, Kate Motaung2025-06-18T06:21:34+00:00June 18th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Are you thinking of getting married? Or married again? Before you make that wonderful commitment in the presence of God, it would be wise to go for premarital counseling as a couple. Facilitated by a professional and experienced counselor, you and your future spouse will be able to talk through critical issues and obtain guidance on navigating conflict or potential obstacles to a successful relationship. Biblical premarital counseling in Texas will help you and your future spouse to prepare your hearts and minds for the type of marriage that God intended and in which you both can flourish and grow together. What does God say about marriage? Unlike other contractual arrangements made by human beings, marriage is God’s institution. It is His idea and His design. The primary purpose of marriage, like the purpose of our lives in general, is actually to glorify God. It is supposed to be a living picture of Christ’s relationship with the church – a relationship that is characterized by sacrificial love as each spouse seeks the good of the other above himself or herself. Our security, happiness, and other goals for marriage are still important but they are secondary and subject to this first goal. God has designed marriage to function best according to the rules He has established and laid out for us in His Word. He is clear that it is intended to last a lifetime. Therefore, we should take marriage seriously, and find out what it requires of us. We should not rush into it without careful consideration or counsel from other trustworthy and wise Christians. The Bible acknowledges that the world and our relationships have been marred by sin and that sometimes marriages are severed by death or divorce. God makes provision for people to remarry in certain cases; [...]

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How to Forgive in Marriage

How to Forgive in Marriage

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-06-13T06:40:03+00:00June 13th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues, Spiritual Development|

Forgiveness may be one of the hardest things you will ever do in your marriage, especially when you have been hurt deeply and feel betrayed by the one you love. It’s a whole lot easier to stay angry, to keep a mental tally of wrongdoings, and let that root of bitterness fester in your soul. But do you know what? That anger you’re feeling doesn’t help you in any way. It doesn’t help your health, physically or mentally. It doesn’t help your emotions, and it certainly doesn’t help your marriage. It only weighs down your heart, clouding your relationship and keeping you stuck. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you pretend that you weren’t hurt by what happened or that it didn’t happen at all. Forgiveness is about moving forward, letting go of anger, and finding healing together. Take, for example, Anna and Luke. They had been married for almost ten years, and recently, their marriage had been on the rocks. The tipping point came when Luke made a comment at a family gathering that deeply hurt Anna. It wasn’t the first time he’d said something carelessly, but this time, it felt like too much. Anna was furious. For weeks, every time they talked, she brought it up, lashing out in anger, even when Luke tried to apologize. Anna wasn’t just angry about that one comment. It was the accumulation of years of hurt, misunderstandings, and unspoken resentment. As she worked through the complicated emotions, Anna realized something important. She realized that she had been holding onto her anger because she felt like it was the only way she could protect herself. The problem was that her anger was not just about building a wall to protect herself. It was building a wall between her and Luke. She had walls that he [...]

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6 Keys to Improve Communication in a Relationship

6 Keys to Improve Communication in a Relationship

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-06-06T06:48:33+00:00June 6th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Is there anything simpler, and at the same time possibly more complicated than two people talking? Two people communicating with one another is the basis of a relationship, whether they are using their mouths or hands to express their meaning. The way the Lord designed us, we aren’t a race of mind readers. This necessitates finding ways to express our fears, hopes, needs, and expectations. We must improve communication – it is a vital skill to master in all areas of life. If you’re in a relationship with someone, knowing how to communicate your meaning to them is a boon for that relationship. You can avoid unnecessary misunderstandings, know how best to love your beloved, and quickly get to the heart of disagreements if your communication skills are on point. We all could use some brushing up and learning a few tips to help improve communication in our relationships. Obstacles to Good Communication It’s important to say from the start that people aren’t intentionally bad communicators. No one wants to be misunderstood and to cause avoidable friction in their relationships. No one wants to be unhappy or to make the people in their lives unhappy because of their words. Often, these things happen quite contrary to our desires. There are some obstacles to good communication that we may need greater awareness of. Some things that can stand in the way of good communication include unaddressed feelings like hurt, fear, or anger. These can prevent honest and open communication, leading instead to defensiveness, making assumptions about the other person and their state of mind, and leaning into our biases and prejudices. However, making assumptions and being biased can’t always be blamed on unaddressed feelings. Apart from these internal challenges, good communication can also be hindered by external factors. These include [...]

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Frequently Asked Questions About Toxic Marriage

Frequently Asked Questions About Toxic Marriage

Lori Askew, Kate Motaung2025-05-17T12:11:41+00:00May 19th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Intensives, Relationship Issues|

We are all imperfect human beings with flaws and weaknesses. All relationships have their ups and downs. Over time there are bound to be arguments and frustrations, intimacy may wax and wane, and your spouse may seem boring or exhibit annoying behavior, but that does not necessarily mean you’re in a toxic marriage. At the heart of any great relationship is partnership. . . . If you’re dealing with an opponent instead of a partner, that’s toxic. – Wendy Newman A healthy marriage is built on trust, cooperation, and open, honest communication that enables you and your spouse to talk through issues respectfully. Both of you are willing to accept some of the responsibility when things go wrong, and to look at things from your partner’s perspective. In a healthy marriage, spouses do not often get unpredictably upset over minor issues. They care about each other’s well-being, try to meet one another’s needs, and provide each other with emotional support. What is the difference between a difficult marriage and a toxic marriage? The main difference between a toxic marriage and a difficult one is that you can grow in a difficult marriage and learn to become more patient, understanding, and unassuming. In a toxic marriage, however, spouses do not support one another, and the discord goes far beyond an occasional rough patch. A toxic marriage is destructive and damaging to your physical health as well as to your mental and emotional well-being. It is marked by persistent conflict, disrespect, and attacks on your character as your spouse frequently tries to undermine you. Negative experiences far outweigh any positive ones, and you feel as though you are being destroyed. What are the signs of a toxic marriage? You may experience any or all of these signs: The relationship feels draining [...]

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Understanding and Working Through a Sexless Marriage

Understanding and Working Through a Sexless Marriage

Kate Motaung2025-05-06T07:14:03+00:00May 6th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

A marriage is a little bit like a tree. A tree takes root in soil of varying quality, and it gets exposed to the elements like sun, wind, and rain. Sometimes the tree gets too much sun, or it gets battered by fierce winds, it gets too much water in a flash flood, or too little of it during a drought. In the same way, the tree can get just the right amount of what it needs so that it flourishes. The story of a tree can be seen when you check the rings in its trunk. A marriage brings two people together, typically in happy circumstances, and the two want to spend their lives together making each other happy. The couple goes through any number of circumstances, like grief and loss of loved ones or cherished dreams, financial woes, health issues, disagreements, joyous celebrations, new beginnings, accomplishing goals like paying off the mortgage or traveling, etc. Some marriages come to the point where sexual intimacy has all but evaporated, and that in itself poses several challenges for the couple. How does a marriage become sexless, and is there a way to turn things around? The good news is that there are ways for a couple to flourish and strengthen their relationship, deepening their intimacy and sense of connection. What is a sexless marriage? It’s more than likely that when two people meet and decide to get married, they feel passion for each other. Often, the couple can’t keep their hands off each other, which can be problematic since they need to wait until after their nuptials to consummate the relationship. In ways that will be described shortly, a relationship can remain intact but with the sense of intimacy and connection lost. There are different ways to understand what [...]

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Can a Christian Marriage Survive Infidelity?

Can a Christian Marriage Survive Infidelity?

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-04-15T06:54:28+00:00April 15th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

For many people, the discovery of infidelity marks the end of any happily ever after in their marriage. But Christians who are taught that marriage is for life and that divorce is wrong may find themselves in a difficult position when they discover that their partner has been unfaithful to them. Whichever path a person may choose, many challenges will lie ahead. It is important not to rush into big decisions without prayer and careful consideration of everything. What is infidelity? Infidelity is when one partner in a relationship is unfaithful to the other. Adultery is considered to be a serious breach of the marriage covenant and is seen as both a sin against the spouse and a sin against God. In the Bible, it is seen as a broader category than just the physical sexual act. It also includes an individual’s unfaithful desires and thoughts (Matthew 5:27-30). One of the challenges of talking about infidelity is that individual spouses and couples may have different understandings of infidelity. For instance, is it okay to watch pornography, or to reach out and connect with a former partner on social media? Some couples will have had these important conversations during premarital counseling or afterward to establish firm boundaries in their relationship. Infidelity can thus take the form of emotional or physical acts of infidelity that violate boundaries the couple has set for themselves. For a Christian couple, infidelity may include things that the couple may consider okay, but Scripture addresses and says otherwise. As such, from a Christian perspective, there is no such thing as an open marriage (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:3-6; Proverbs 5; 6:20-35; 1 Corinthians 6:12-20). What does the Bible say about infidelity? In the well-known Ten Commandments, the first laws given to the nation of Israel, we find [...]

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5 Ways Infidelity Can Impact a Marriage

5 Ways Infidelity Can Impact a Marriage

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-03-26T12:01:30+00:00March 18th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Infidelity can be devastating to marriage. Couples can have difficulty having a healthy relationship after cheating has occurred. This is because infidelity can inflict emotional, physical, and mental damage to the victim. Additionally, suppose a person is unrepentant or blames the other for the infidelity. In that case, it can cause additional problems because the victim may feel misplaced shame or guilt due to what happened. Infidelity’s Impact on a Marriage Although infidelity can be a deal breaker in a marriage, it doesn’t always have to be. However, infidelity can impact many areas of marriage. Here are five areas in which infidelity can affect a marriage: Finances One way infidelity can impact your marriage is the strain that financial issues can have if the marriage ends. If one spouse is the primary breadwinner and helps provide for the other spouse, the other spouse may find that they need to get a job quickly. However, if they’ve been out of the workforce due to having children or lacking skills, they may find it challenging to find a well-paying job that will help meet their needs like their partner did. Additionally, an unfaithful person may become bitter because the relationship ended. Because of the shame and guilt they feel about what they did, they may hesitate to want to provide financial compensation to the other spouse. The spouse who is caring for the children may find themselves struggling because the other person who was unfaithful doesn’t want to pay them because they feel they may not be responsible for the termination of their relationship. A spouse who struggles to make ends meet after infidelity may need the help and support of family and friends. They may also need the help and support of people who can come and help them get [...]

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On the Road to Getting Married: Premarital Counseling in Rockwall, Texas

On the Road to Getting Married: Premarital Counseling in Rockwall, Texas

Jennifer Kooshian2025-03-26T12:32:08+00:00March 17th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Marriage Counseling, Premarital Counseling, Relationship Issues|

There are many stops along the way to your wedding day. Finding the person you want to be with is a crucial step, and once you’ve gone through the awkward (or amazing!) first date, shared beautiful moments, shared even more amazing moments, and built trust and a meaningful connection, you may be getting the idea that this person is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. At this point, you may be ready for premarital counseling in Rockwall, Texas. Whenever it is that you decide that you want to be serious with someone and perhaps take your relationship toward marriage, premarital counseling in Rockwall, Texas is a good stop to make along the way. It’s an important building block with a lot of value for your relationship. What’s the deal with premarital counseling? Premarital counseling at Texas Christian Counseling in Rockwall is a form of talk therapy that’s geared at couples who are, in one way or another, thinking about marriage. Couples might go for this kind of counseling before they take the step to get engaged, but other couples get engaged first and then it. The goal of this type of counseling is to help couples talk through issues and questions in a way that will adequately prepare them for marriage. When you go for premarital counseling at Texas Christian Counseling in Rockwall, it’s not simply another task on a presumably long to-do list relating to the wedding and life beyond that amazing day. Premarital counseling is important because it creates intentional space to address things that the couple may not have considered; things that have a direct impact on how their married life will progress. Your premarital counselor in Rockwall, Texas may ask you a variety of questions, including what your understanding [...]

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Overcoming Anger and Resentment in Marriage

Overcoming Anger and Resentment in Marriage

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-02-13T12:02:05+00:00February 12th, 2025|Anger Issues, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Resentment is a slow fade. It has the potential to creep into your marriage, drain out the love and leave you feeling bitter and angry toward your spouse. But, did you know that when you approach resentment correctly it can be a catalyst to address key relationship issues and solidify an even stronger marriage? Getting a Clear Understanding of Resentment in Marriage Defined by some dictionaries as a feeling of anger because you have been forced to accept something that you do not like, resentment in marriage happens when there is a buildup of negative feelings between your spouse and yourself. You may feel harmed, ignored, disappointed, deceived, or poorly treated. This feeling is toxic to any relationship, especially as one precious as a marriage, and will, over time, poison the mutual love, trust, and respect necessary for it to be successful. The hurt that you experience because your partner has purposefully or accidentally broken the agreements of your relationship is a broad but effective way to understand why resentment starts to form. Unmet expectations at various levels have an equally corrosive effect. Perhaps it is the manner you are treated, how you thought your marriage would mature, or the characteristics of the life you are building together. The hurt solidifies into disappointment, frustration, and anger toward your spouse. How Resentment in Marriage Starts Off Imagine your marriage relationship as a beautiful, exotic motorcar. Resplendent in design and function. You and your spouse love it and treasure it. While you are both out driving, a loose piece of gravel flicks up and nicks the glass on the windshield. That evening you look at it and see that it has left a chip but not much more. You decide that because he was behind the wheel when it happened, he should [...]

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Why Do Codependent Relationships Happen? Signs of Codependency

Why Do Codependent Relationships Happen? Signs of Codependency

Wade Van Staden2024-09-27T10:36:31+00:00July 19th, 2024|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Codependent relationships are when two people are excessively reliant on one other for a combination of emotional, mental, practical, and spiritual support. Together they develop a sort of imbalanced rhythm of give and take, with one person caring, giving, and nurturing while the other receives, controls, and directs. On the surface, these kinds of agreements might look copasetic, and it can be difficult to even detect the signs of codependency. Eventually, though, codependent partnerships are damaging and draining for those involved. Why do codependent relationships happen? People are complex and everyone is carrying around varying degrees of trauma. There could be events and experiences from as far back as childhood that have affected us and shaped the way we connect with others. For example, if our parents were neglectful of us as children, we might grow up with an anxious attachment style, meaning that we fear being alone or abandoned. We learned at an early age that it is possible to be forgotten about, and we developed ways of manipulating people’s attention and affection to avoid being left alone again. Sometimes it happens that we meet someone who has trauma or experiences similar to our own. Behind most codependent relationships is a fear of abandonment, low self-esteem, an inability to express emotions and needs, and an unwillingness to face problems. Some people are naturally empathetic and find genuine meaning in giving and serving others. When this instinct is combined with a fear of abandonment or emotional insecurity, however, those empathetic motivations become selfish. That person might be showing kindness simply to manipulate people into liking them. On the other hand, some people are narcissistic and have an elevated opinion of themselves. To others, they might appear confident and self-assured, but they, too, often have a fear of neglect or [...]

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