Couples Counseling

Do you feel like your marriage is in trouble? Marriage is hard work, and arguments and disagreements will happen. Hard times will come. However, a toxic marriage has to do with the breakdown of behavior in the relationship between both spouses to the degree that it is abusive or borderline abusive. Toxic Marriage Signs There are several signs of a toxic marriage to watch for. As you read through the following signs, remember that your relationship does not need to hit on all of them to be harmful. For example, if your spouse controls your movements, decisions, thoughts, work, finances, and clothing, you are in an unhealthy marriage. A toxic marriage typically ends in divorce unless a behavior change is apparent. Too many abusive spouses own up to their behavior and then “love bomb” their partner to get back into their good graces, only to revert to their bad behavior. Remember that you cannot change or “fix” your spouse. If you stay in a toxic marriage, eventually, your physical, mental, and emotional health will suffer. Your Spouse is Controlling If your spouse controls your actions, decisions, or thoughts, or if they control finances, food, and clothing to the degree that you have no say, you are in a toxic relationship. This person wants you to rely solely on them for basic needs. They will keep you from bettering yourself and scoffing at your opinions. You Feel on Edge A toxic marriage will make you walk on eggshells, afraid of the next disagreement. Your spouse may have anger outbursts over small things or give you the silent treatment. You are unsure of their response from one day to the next, so you live on the edge, constantly anxious. They may yell and insult you, find a way to punish you [...]

Although more women suffer from depression than men, men are still at risk. Depression is a mental disorder that can range from mild to severe, and last several weeks, months, or years. It can disrupt the home, work, the relationship in the bedroom, and other areas of life. Helping your depressed husband is critical to maintaining a strong relationship while he receives treatment. How to Help Your Depressed Husband You can help your depressed husband with a few lifestyle changes and reprioritizing the relationship. Remember when you were dating? Most people would have walked miles to see the other person. They would run to the phone when it rang to see if it was them. Once married, we accept adult responsibilities, and sometimes these crowd out the excitement of the relationship. Work with your husband to rekindle the spark in your relationship. The feelings of love and acceptance trigger the release of serotonin and dopamine, counteracting stress hormones and alleviating depression. Consider a few of the tips for helping a depressed husband. Encourage couples counseling Let your husband know you are willing to attend couples counseling with him. He may be afraid to go alone or think it’s a waste of time, but he’ll be willing to go if you’re by his side. Impress upon him that the strategies and skills the counselor shares will help alleviate his depression symptoms. Couples counseling also provides you with an opportunity to share your concerns and learn how to support your husband. Help him with tasks when he’s overwhelmed If your husband is the primary breadwinner in the family or works a stressful job, he may feel overwhelmed by his responsibilities. If he’s out of work, the chronic stress may be contributing to his depression. Try to help him with tasks when you [...]

Is there anything simpler, and at the same time possibly more complicated than two people talking? Two people communicating with one another is the basis of a relationship, whether they are using their mouths or hands to express their meaning. The way the Lord designed us, we aren’t a race of mind readers. This necessitates finding ways to express our fears, hopes, needs, and expectations. We must improve communication – it is a vital skill to master in all areas of life. If you’re in a relationship with someone, knowing how to communicate your meaning to them is a boon for that relationship. You can avoid unnecessary misunderstandings, know how best to love your beloved, and quickly get to the heart of disagreements if your communication skills are on point. We all could use some brushing up and learning a few tips to help improve communication in our relationships. Obstacles to Good Communication It’s important to say from the start that people aren’t intentionally bad communicators. No one wants to be misunderstood and to cause avoidable friction in their relationships. No one wants to be unhappy or to make the people in their lives unhappy because of their words. Often, these things happen quite contrary to our desires. There are some obstacles to good communication that we may need greater awareness of. Some things that can stand in the way of good communication include unaddressed feelings like hurt, fear, or anger. These can prevent honest and open communication, leading instead to defensiveness, making assumptions about the other person and their state of mind, and leaning into our biases and prejudices. However, making assumptions and being biased can’t always be blamed on unaddressed feelings. Apart from these internal challenges, good communication can also be hindered by external factors. These include [...]