Couples Counseling

For many people, the discovery of infidelity marks the end of any happily ever after in their marriage. But Christians who are taught that marriage is for life and that divorce is wrong may find themselves in a difficult position when they discover that their partner has been unfaithful to them. Whichever path a person may choose, many challenges will lie ahead. It is important not to rush into big decisions without prayer and careful consideration of everything. What is infidelity? Infidelity is when one partner in a relationship is unfaithful to the other. Adultery is considered to be a serious breach of the marriage covenant and is seen as both a sin against the spouse and a sin against God. In the Bible, it is seen as a broader category than just the physical sexual act. It also includes an individual’s unfaithful desires and thoughts (Matthew 5:27-30). One of the challenges of talking about infidelity is that individual spouses and couples may have different understandings of infidelity. For instance, is it okay to watch pornography, or to reach out and connect with a former partner on social media? Some couples will have had these important conversations during premarital counseling or afterward to establish firm boundaries in their relationship. Infidelity can thus take the form of emotional or physical acts of infidelity that violate boundaries the couple has set for themselves. For a Christian couple, infidelity may include things that the couple may consider okay, but Scripture addresses and says otherwise. As such, from a Christian perspective, there is no such thing as an open marriage (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:3-6; Proverbs 5; 6:20-35; 1 Corinthians 6:12-20). What does the Bible say about infidelity? In the well-known Ten Commandments, the first laws given to the nation of Israel, we find [...]

Infidelity can be devastating to marriage. Couples can have difficulty having a healthy relationship after cheating has occurred. This is because infidelity can inflict emotional, physical, and mental damage to the victim. Additionally, suppose a person is unrepentant or blames the other for the infidelity. In that case, it can cause additional problems because the victim may feel misplaced shame or guilt due to what happened. Infidelity’s Impact on a Marriage Although infidelity can be a deal breaker in a marriage, it doesn’t always have to be. However, infidelity can impact many areas of marriage. Here are five areas in which infidelity can affect a marriage: Finances One way infidelity can impact your marriage is the strain that financial issues can have if the marriage ends. If one spouse is the primary breadwinner and helps provide for the other spouse, the other spouse may find that they need to get a job quickly. However, if they’ve been out of the workforce due to having children or lacking skills, they may find it challenging to find a well-paying job that will help meet their needs like their partner did. Additionally, an unfaithful person may become bitter because the relationship ended. Because of the shame and guilt they feel about what they did, they may hesitate to want to provide financial compensation to the other spouse. The spouse who is caring for the children may find themselves struggling because the other person who was unfaithful doesn’t want to pay them because they feel they may not be responsible for the termination of their relationship. A spouse who struggles to make ends meet after infidelity may need the help and support of family and friends. They may also need the help and support of people who can come and help them get [...]

Sometimes, despite our best intentions, we remain in unhealthy or even harmful relationships for much longer than we should. It’s not because we’re addicted to the mayhem or because we enjoy being mistreated; neither of those things are true. There is a possibility that we occasionally catch a glimpse of a sliver of hope that things are going to turn out better in the future. When we look at our partner and the dynamics of the relationship through a lens of compassion and hope, we may miss warning signs in our relationship that are obvious to others. This may be the case because we are looking at our partner through this lens. The results of our principles and beliefs in relationships. We have a wide variety of beliefs about ourselves and others, all of which influence the decisions we make. We might think that if our partner gets the right kind of assistance or support, they can realize their full potential and that it is our responsibility to provide that assistance and support. We may worry that our departure would cause them harm or that our partner’s situation would deteriorate in our absence. If we were to break up with this person, it would mean the end of our dreams because it would mean we would no longer be committed to pursuing them. Perhaps we feel that our primary responsibility is to provide care and healing to others, even if this causes us to lose sight of our own needs. We may be uncomfortable with the idea of breaking off a relationship due to unfulfilled wants and needs because we don’t want to be seen as selfish. New information and how we handle it in relationships. Cognitive dissonance is something that can affect us when we are in a [...]