Kate Motaung, Rockwall Christian Counseling

About Kate Motaung

Kate Motaung is the Senior Writer, Editor, and Content Manager for a multi-state company. She is the author of several books including Letters to Grief, 101 Prayers for Comfort in Difficult Times, and A Place to Land: A Story of Longing and Belonging. Kate is also the host of Five Minute Friday, an online writing community that equips and encourages Christian writers, and the owner of Refine Services, a company that offers editing services. She and her South African husband have three young adult children and currently live in West Michigan. Find Kate’s books at katemotaung.com/books.

5 Ways Infidelity Can Impact a Marriage

5 Ways Infidelity Can Impact a Marriage

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-03-26T12:01:30+00:00March 18th, 2025|Couples Counseling, Featured, Infidelity and Affairs, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Infidelity can be devastating to marriage. Couples can have difficulty having a healthy relationship after cheating has occurred. This is because infidelity can inflict emotional, physical, and mental damage to the victim. Additionally, suppose a person is unrepentant or blames the other for the infidelity. In that case, it can cause additional problems because the victim may feel misplaced shame or guilt due to what happened. Infidelity’s Impact on a Marriage Although infidelity can be a deal breaker in a marriage, it doesn’t always have to be. However, infidelity can impact many areas of marriage. Here are five areas in which infidelity can affect a marriage: Finances One way infidelity can impact your marriage is the strain that financial issues can have if the marriage ends. If one spouse is the primary breadwinner and helps provide for the other spouse, the other spouse may find that they need to get a job quickly. However, if they’ve been out of the workforce due to having children or lacking skills, they may find it challenging to find a well-paying job that will help meet their needs like their partner did. Additionally, an unfaithful person may become bitter because the relationship ended. Because of the shame and guilt they feel about what they did, they may hesitate to want to provide financial compensation to the other spouse. The spouse who is caring for the children may find themselves struggling because the other person who was unfaithful doesn’t want to pay them because they feel they may not be responsible for the termination of their relationship. A spouse who struggles to make ends meet after infidelity may need the help and support of family and friends. They may also need the help and support of people who can come and help them get [...]

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The Hyperactive Child: Symptoms of ADHD in Children

The Hyperactive Child: Symptoms of ADHD in Children

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2025-03-13T08:47:18+00:00March 13th, 2025|ADHD/ADD, Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

Children are commonly known as little balls of energy. It’s a normal part of growing up. However, some children appear to have an overabundance of energy that prohibits them from being able to sit for long periods of time or to focus on schoolwork and other tasks. How can you tell if your hyperactive child is truly hyperactive, or simply in a normal phase of childhood? According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention), more than six million children in the United States have been diagnosed with ADHD, as of a survey dated 2016. What exactly is ADHD? ADHD stands for Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Although it is commonly seen in children, adults can also show signs of ADHD. A child with ADHD may have difficulty focusing on schoolwork, constantly “fidget,” and/or have uncontrollable impulses. An individual may suffer chronic bouts of the disorder throughout their life. ADHD may stem from a variety of root causes such as dysfunctional relationships, low self-esteem, or victimization at school or at home. Genetics can also play a role in whether a child develops the disorder. If one or more parent has the condition, their offspring may exhibit some of the symptoms of ADHD as children. Brain structure and brain function may contribute to the change in behavior. Researchers are still unclear on what the underlying causes for the disorder might be when it comes to the brain but theorize it is possibly due to chemical imbalances or problems with the neurotransmitters. Unfortunately, parents may feel at fault if their child is diagnosed with ADHD as the public at large points to an undisciplined child out of control. However, there is a myriad of causes, including the physical and emotional ones listed above. Pesticides, food dyes, in utero exposure to alcohol or [...]

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7 Steps for an Effective Personal Development Plan

7 Steps for an Effective Personal Development Plan

Kate Motaung2025-04-21T12:59:47+00:00March 12th, 2025|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development|

How is success achieved? Many of us have ideas and plans that don’t come to fruition. One reason ideas founder is that no plan is generated to put them in motion. If you’re thinking about developing some aspect of your life such as dealing with stress, getting married, or communicating better, it’s important to have a plan of action. Creating a personal development plan is something anyone can do for themselves. As you put your plan together, knowing yourself will play a huge role in the process. There’s no use having goals that don’t appeal to you, and there’s no use in creating a development plan that requires resources you don’t possess and have no way to acquire. In other words, a development plan should be realistic and tailored to your unique needs and situation. Steps in Creating Your Development Plan As you consider steps in your personal development plan, one of the most important things you can do is determine your goals. There’s so much that can get in the way of making things happen that the best chance you have is to pursue a goal that matters to you and one that will make the most difference in your life. Some of the steps to consider in putting your plan together include the following: Choose your goal and write it down Open your favorite note-taking app or take a clean sheet of paper and write down the goals that you’d consider worth pursuing. You can note today’s date and then put down seven to ten goals that you would like to accomplish in the next 12 months. As you write these goals down, write them in the present tense. That gives you a sense of immediacy as well as a clearer view of what matters to you. [...]

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How Your God-Given Internal Cues Can Stop Emotional Eating

How Your God-Given Internal Cues Can Stop Emotional Eating

Lori Askew, Kate Motaung2025-03-26T12:17:11+00:00March 7th, 2025|Eating Disorders, Featured, Individual Counseling, Weight Loss, Women’s Issues|

Chronic stress, a silent predator, is a key instigator of a range of physical and mental ailments. Unfortunately, it also slyly fuels emotional eating. What happens is that we often turn to food beyond our physical hunger because we’re trying to fill a deep-seated void. God actually created that void in us to fill with Himself. Therefore, we know that food is not the answer. God has gifted us with a sophisticated system that signals when we need to nourish ourselves and when we should refrain from eating. This system helps us to effectively curb emotional eating by recognizing and responding to internal cues. Defining True Hunger The internal cues we possess to indicate hunger are natural and intuitive. Your body releases two hormones, ghrelin and leptin. Ghrelin stimulates the appetite, making your stomach feel empty and often causing it to growl. The growl or empty sensation may subside but return in 10-30 minutes as your body requires fuel. The other hormone, leptin, controls satiety. You experience the sensation of being full when fat cells release leptin, which leads you to stop eating. This hormone is released when it receives the signal from the stomach approaching fullness. Unfortunately, many individuals continue to eat even when they are already full or not hungry, making it difficult to gauge their satiety or control their eating. This can lead to physical discomfort, obesity, digestive problems, and even illness if it becomes a consistent habit. Understanding these potential health risks can be a powerful motivator to change our eating habits. Why We Eat Our Emotions If the empty feeling or stomach growl indicates hunger, why do we eat when not physically hungry? Thoughts and emotions fuel our actions. For example, you have had a stressful day at work. You arrive home, and everyone [...]

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PTSD Help: Treatment Options for Trauma Recovery

PTSD Help: Treatment Options for Trauma Recovery

Kate Motaung2025-02-20T11:18:19+00:00February 20th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

Have you been diagnosed with PTSD and wondered, amid your struggle, whether life will ever feel normal again? The answer is yes. No matter how impossible it may look right now, your life does not have to be forever defined by your trauma. You can access effective PTSD help. With the help of God and a trained mental health professional, you can learn how to reframe your experience, cope with your symptoms in a healthy way, and live a happy, fulfilling life. You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn how to surf. – Jon Kabat-Zinn PTSD Defined PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) is a disruptive mental health disorder brought on in some people by the shock of experiencing or witnessing a terrifying event. Symptoms may include reliving the trauma through flashbacks or nightmares, severe anxiety, or uncontrollable, intrusive thoughts about the event that last long after it has ended. Common Symptoms of PTSD Though everyone’s experience with PTSD is unique, there are some common symptoms most people share. Intrusive memories Frequent intrusive memories that cause you to relive the trauma may manifest as nightmares or flashbacks. These can be upsetting and give rise to panic attacks, disrupted sleep, palpitations, headaches, and digestive disorders, as well as feelings of fear, guilt, shame, or anxiety. Avoidance You try to prevent triggering distressing emotions by avoiding anything that evenly remotely reminds you of the trauma. This could include staying clear of certain places, avoiding people who remind you of an abuser, or even specific sounds or smells. A heightened state of arousal Your body may continue to remain in a state of high alert even if the trauma happened months or years ago, causing you to overreact to everyday occurrences and be easily startled. A veteran, for example, may panic at [...]

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Overcoming Anger and Resentment in Marriage

Overcoming Anger and Resentment in Marriage

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2025-02-13T12:02:05+00:00February 12th, 2025|Anger Issues, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Resentment is a slow fade. It has the potential to creep into your marriage, drain out the love and leave you feeling bitter and angry toward your spouse. But, did you know that when you approach resentment correctly it can be a catalyst to address key relationship issues and solidify an even stronger marriage? Getting a Clear Understanding of Resentment in Marriage Defined by some dictionaries as a feeling of anger because you have been forced to accept something that you do not like, resentment in marriage happens when there is a buildup of negative feelings between your spouse and yourself. You may feel harmed, ignored, disappointed, deceived, or poorly treated. This feeling is toxic to any relationship, especially as one precious as a marriage, and will, over time, poison the mutual love, trust, and respect necessary for it to be successful. The hurt that you experience because your partner has purposefully or accidentally broken the agreements of your relationship is a broad but effective way to understand why resentment starts to form. Unmet expectations at various levels have an equally corrosive effect. Perhaps it is the manner you are treated, how you thought your marriage would mature, or the characteristics of the life you are building together. The hurt solidifies into disappointment, frustration, and anger toward your spouse. How Resentment in Marriage Starts Off Imagine your marriage relationship as a beautiful, exotic motorcar. Resplendent in design and function. You and your spouse love it and treasure it. While you are both out driving, a loose piece of gravel flicks up and nicks the glass on the windshield. That evening you look at it and see that it has left a chip but not much more. You decide that because he was behind the wheel when it happened, he should [...]

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Practical Coping Tips to Prepare a Single Mom for Childbirth

Practical Coping Tips to Prepare a Single Mom for Childbirth

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2025-02-07T05:48:19+00:00February 7th, 2025|Featured, Individual Counseling, Women’s Issues|

Gladys was elated when she discovered she was pregnant, and although she was a little scared of the impending childbirth, she’d be okay with the support of her loving partner, Greg. She never gave any thought to the possibility of being a single mom. Greg was her high school sweetheart, and although they were still in their early twenties, she had already envisioned herself spending the rest of her life with him. The pregnancy may have been unplanned and unexpected, but she was nonetheless excited to start a new phase in their relationship. The last thing Gladys expected was for Greg to suddenly turn around and announce that he was leaving her. He decided he didn’t want to be a part of the child’s life. The breakup hit her like a sudden storm, and she suddenly realized she was facing the prospect of childbirth with no partner, and no one close by to lean on. Gladys was raised in a traditional Christian family of generations of solidly married parents and grandparents who stayed married for decades. The concept of facing pregnancy and motherhood alone was foreign to her. Facing childbirth as a single mom was the most daunting challenge she had ever faced, and she realized she had no clue how to walk this path alone. Gladys’s Ray of Hope As sad and dejected as she was, as her belly grew somehow, Gladys knew she had to find the fortitude and tools to face this journey head-on. One thing she knew was that she needed to come out of her pit of sorrow and confide in someone. She hadn’t even told her family any of this. Then she remembered the friendly neighborhood shopkeeper, Emma, who lived just down the road. She remembered that she had lost her husband before [...]

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Healthy Parenting Tips to Help You Raise Your Kid Well

Healthy Parenting Tips to Help You Raise Your Kid Well

Stacy Davis, Kate Motaung2025-01-25T04:02:17+00:00January 27th, 2025|Family Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Having kids can be a beautiful challenge to take on. To be honest, it can be overwhelming, too. Being able to turn to others for wisdom can indeed be helpful, but you need to make sure that whatever wisdom you receive makes sense, really works, and fits in with who you are and what you desire for your children. Sometimes you can try things out, but if they aren’t working out, it’s okay to take a step back and try something new. Below are a few healthy parenting tips that you can try out to help you raise your kids well. You may be facing various or specific challenges with your kids, and that can affect the kind of help you need. Sometimes, making simple tweaks to what you’re already doing will do the trick; at other times, you’ll need a whole new approach. At other times, it may be prudent to seek professional help. Parenting Tips to Help You on the Way You know your kids better than anyone else, and one helpful pointer as you think about your parenting is to learn to trust your instincts more. Of course, our instincts need to get sharpened, and it always helps to be informed, but trust that the Lord gave you those kids for a reason. Yes, you’ll make mistakes as a parent, but you can learn from them and grow in your ability to parent well. Here are some healthy parenting tips you can implement to raise your kids well: Leading by example Parents sometimes fall into the trap of wanting their kids to do what they say, and not to imitate what they do. The reality is that kids learn by imitation, and so they will often pattern themselves after you and what they see you do. [...]

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Healthy Healing Strategies for Trauma

Healthy Healing Strategies for Trauma

Kate Motaung2024-12-21T10:18:00+00:00December 16th, 2024|Featured, Individual Counseling, Trauma|

In the basic definition, trauma is defined as a personal response to an event that is overwhelming physically, psychologically, emotionally, and mentally. Traumatic events happen at any age to any person, and they can be extremely stressful. The effects can be long-lasting but there is a way to heal. The causes may be common, but the effects are just as different as the person experiencing the event. This means that each person needs different healing strategies for trauma. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. – John 14:27, NIV Some strategies can help with healthy healing from the negative effects of trauma. Through proper therapy and counseling, a person can move toward living a life that is healthy and well-balanced. Causes of Trauma The many causes of trauma are not concerned with the event itself. Rather, the cause is about how a person responds to the traumatic event. That is why some people are affected by trauma when others who face the same event are not. Some of the most common causes of trauma in people are: Childhood neglect. Unstable home environment. Sexual abuse/assault. Medical trauma/severe illness. Violence. Grief. Domestic abuse. Bullying. Combat. Terrorism. Witnessing a harmful event. Natural disasters. Individuals who experience these events firsthand may react in a way that will have a long-lasting effect on them. Without proper counseling for trauma, a person can develop other conditions that affect their overall well-being. The Different Types of Trauma The form of trauma is not always the same between two individuals, even though the situation is the same. The type of trauma a person faces refers to the level of mental or physical [...]

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7 Fears About Getting Old and How to Fight Them

7 Fears About Getting Old and How to Fight Them

Ronald Jenkins, Kate Motaung2024-12-13T05:41:43+00:00December 13th, 2024|Aging and Geriatric Issues, Anxiety, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Few things about getting old seem to redeem the decline in body and mind that accompanies the inevitable aging process. In our natural state, we resist the loss of youth in all kinds of ways; midlife crises, cosmetic procedures, and denying the fact that we’re not as we used to be. While most would acknowledge that there are benefits to getting older, such as wisdom and maturity gained through life experience, the idea of old age is generally feared in our Western culture. The Bible’s perspective on aging stands in stark contrast to how we often feel about getting old. Proverbs 16:31 reminds us that “gray hair is a glorious crown”; reflecting on the honor and gift it is to live a long life. While we don’t want to lose our lives, we want to drink from the fountain of eternal youth and not face old age! And though heaven promises wonderful things for our new bodies, God has designed us in a way that we need to graciously accept that “outwardly we are wasting away”, reassured by the truth that “inwardly we are being renewed day by day” (2 Corinthians 4:16, NIV). 7 Fears About Getting Old In order to get to the point where we can rejoice in this season, we often need to work through some fears about getting old. These include: The fear of aging and the realization of mortality This fear is a general fear of getting old, and the realization that we are mortal and will die one day. Most of the time, people live in denial of the reality of the progression of time and how it wears on our bodies and minds; we simply don’t think it will happen to us until the signs start to appear, and fear and horror [...]

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Kate Motaung

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