Understand and Overcome Common Marriage Issues

Every marriage has its moments of problems and obstacles. However, how you view marriage plays a critical role in how you handle those issues. Do you view your marriage as a signed contract or a covenant made between you, your spouse, and God? When you view marriage as the latter, overcoming common marriage issues becomes possible.

Common Marriage Issues

Marriage issues can destroy a relationship if left unresolved. If possible, seek premarital or early marriage counseling to help prevent and prepare you for inevitable problems. However, seeking marriage counseling at any time can equip you and your spouse to resolve conflict, open communication, manage anger, and hone in on any marriage issues before they lead to divorce.

The following are several common marriage issues couples face.

Lack of Communication

Lack of communication and misunderstandings cause more marriage issues than almost any other. When you read through the list, notice how many of the issues could have been prevented through effective and direct communication.

The Bible states in Ephesians, “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” (Ephesians 4:26-27, NIV) Yet, we find ourselves using the silent treatment on our spouses or yelling to get a point across.

Financial Strain

Financial strain can place an overwhelming burden on even the healthiest of marriages. Security is important to how free someone feels. When basic needs cannot be met, or debt seems to hover like a dark cloud, stress and arguments prevail.

Specific vices or addictions can create more financial strain, such as gambling and excessive spending. Bad investments, poor budgeting, and debt add to the fear that everything could be lost.

Parenting Conflicts

Couples may not always agree on the best way to parent or discipline a child. This may happen occasionally, but when you find yourselves at odds on a near-constant basis, it may be time to seek help.

Finding a way to compromise and agree on parenting strategies, discipline, bedtimes, curfews, and schooling can keep your relationship intact. Often, parents lose themselves in their children and neglect their relationship with each other.

In-Law Drama

Many couples get along with each other, but are at a loss on how to manage extended family. In-laws can be a sensitive subject as neither of you wants to offend the other or the family. However, healthy boundaries can save you heartache and arguments.

In-law drama can include people stopping by your home unannounced, calling your home at all hours, or telling you how to run your household. It is challenging to voice your opinions without hurting others. Consider working with a counselor to set boundaries and learn how to maintain them.

Lack of Intimacy

Intimacy can take many forms, including physical and emotional. A marriage requires both types of intimacy to thrive. Although sexual relations create a physical bond, the non-sexual form of intimacy helps to build a connection that can last decades into older age.

When your marriage lacks intimacy, it leads to discontentment, which can introduce temptation and distance. Counseling is an effective and confidential tool to discuss intimacy issues and sexual problems.

Infidelity

Infidelity can include physical sexual relations outside of marriage or an emotional affair where a spouse confides in someone else other than their partner. Behaviors such as texting someone of the opposite sex, hiding messages from your significant other, or forming a friendship with someone that crosses a line can feel like betrayal.

The truth is, we choose to love our spouse every day and to make the effort to prioritize our relationship with them. Infidelity, in whatever form, leaves lasting scars. Trust is sacred and can take years to rebuild.

Unequal Distribution of Household Chores

When one spouse feels like a martyr from having to carry heavy household responsibilities, a quiet simmering anger can result, leading to an outburst that the other spouse may not have expected. People tend to mirror the role models from their childhood when it comes to household chores. If one parent did all of the household chores, then the child may grow into an adult who either tries to take on too much or doesn’t contribute at all.

This unequal distribution can lead to bitterness. Discussing how you will share the responsibility for cleaning and maintaining your home together can take the burden off both of you. Marriage is about helping each other and sharing a home and life.

Help for Marriage Issues

If marriage issues seem to be tearing your family apart, you feel frustrated or confused, or you’re both at your wits’ end, reach out for professional help today. Contact our Christian counseling center to schedule an appointment with a counselor specializing in marriage issues. We can help get your marriage back on track.