Overcoming Grief with the Help of a Christian Grief Counselor

Typically, the question of whether grief counseling is for you is reserved for the end of these types of articles. It comes after describing what grief counseling is, the role of a grief counselor, the pros and cons of grief counseling, and exploring group versus individual grief counseling. Still, it can be helpful to address this question up front. Will a grief counselor help you process your loss?

Signs of Grief

If you find yourself struggling to cope with your emotions in the wake of loss, that suggests that counseling could be a helpful next step. Some signs that indicate you could benefit from grief counseling would include the following:

Sleep Issues Having trouble falling and staying asleep, or you find yourself oversleeping

Changes in Appetite Experiencing changes in your appetite, such as not eating much or eating way more than you usually do

Avoidance Avoiding people, activities, or the places that remind you of what you’ve lost

Physical Symptoms Fatigue, headaches, or gastrointestinal issues that aren’t resolved using regular remedies

Feeling overwhelmed and experiencing persistent feelings of guilt, anger, sadness, or even numbness can indicate that you’re struggling with grief. This is especially true if these feelings make it hard to carry on as usual with your life. Struggling to cope in this way may indicate a need for counseling.

Lastly, if you’re turning to substance abuse, risky behaviors, or other unhealthy coping mechanisms, help is key. These can include food, work, or indulging your anger, which could indicate that you could benefit from time with a grief counselor.

Some or all of these might sound familiar to you. It’s important to take loss seriously and to consider how you’re responding to that loss. Grief can take you to dark places. Talking with a grief counselor can provide you with the space you need to work through your emotions and experiences, as well as nurture healthy coping strategies to deal with the loss without harming yourself in the process.

Obstacles to Reaching Out to a Grief Counselor

If you’ve experienced loss and you’re grieving, it’s quite likely that someone has brought up the idea of seeing a counselor. There are many good reasons to see a grief counselor, but it’s important to address the objections, stated or otherwise, that might make it hard to pick up your phone or send a message to a counselor to set up a session.

Each person has their own struggles and ways of processing things. There’s a verse in Scripture that says, “Each heart knows its own bitterness, and no one else can share its joy.” (Proverbs 14.10, NIV) It’s never wise to presume, but some common obstacles stand in the way of reaching out for help, even when it is sorely needed.

One obstacle is that if you and everyone around you see you as the strong one, and you feel you need to hold it together for them and for yourself, it can be tough to take that courageous step of asking for help. If you’re always strong for others, it can be hard to trust others with yourself and your vulnerabilities. You might even be afraid of losing control or of being overwhelmed by your emotions once you let them out.

Another possible obstacle is social or cultural barriers that make it awkward to ask for help. It might be uncomfortable to talk about family business with outsiders. Seeking help from others might be strongly discouraged because it could be embarrassing for the family. Such pressures make it hard to seek professional help. Find a counselor who’s culturally sensitive to your situation can also be challenging.

Much has happened in the last few decades to remove the stigma and misconceptions about counseling. That doesn’t mean such ideas have been completely erased. There are still some who view talking with someone about feelings and experiences as vulnerable or weak. This, combined with misconceptions about what counseling is and how it works, can all conspire to prevent someone from seeking the help they need.

Grief counseling could be hard for someone because of the possibility of feeling overwhelmed when talking through various life experiences. Grief brings up all sorts of memories and feelings, and not all of them are pleasant or easy to handle. The thought of confronting painful emotions or memories can cause deep anxiety.

Lastly, there may be practical barriers that stand in the way of seeking counseling for grief. Perhaps there are concerns about how much it will cost, whether insurance will cover it, access to quality counseling services in your area, or mundane concerns like finding the time to schedule appointments. All of these are valid concerns, but it’s important to weigh the benefits of seeing a grief counselor against these obstacles.

The Benefits of a Grief Counselor. Helping You Navigate Your Grief

Grief can enter your life in various ways, just like loss makes itself felt in different ways. Our loved ones die, sometimes suddenly, but also when we expect it after a long illness. Cherished relationships end, whether through mutual agreement or with bitterness. Long-held dreams, communities and places that have shaped and nurtured us, and work that gives us meaning, can all be lost, resulting in grief.

Grief is a necessary process for us to begin finding our way in the world again after experiencing loss. It’s the way to make sense of life as it is now, and to try and find the road to a full life. It’s not an easy road, as it is strewn with complex and difficult emotions. We don’t always know how to navigate through it all.

At the heart of it, the primary value and benefit of a grief counselor is that they provide you with a structured, non-judgmental, compassionate, and safe environment to work through the complex emotions that loss creates in our lives. Your counselor is there to help guide you and provide you with practical ways to cope with the pain, confusion, uncertainty, and challenges that come with loss.

Grief counselors are there to help you find your way back toward yourself in this new season of life, to find healing and a way to flourish in a new reality where things have changed irrevocably. These are some of the benefits of a grief counselor walking alongside you.

Navigating Grief’s Emotions Your counselor provides you with emotional support by validating your emotions. They can remind you about what grief is like, that it has no set timelines, that it will bring emotions like anger, sadness, relief, or guilt with it, and that these are all normal. Your counselor provides you with a place to connect and freely express your thoughts and emotions.

Exploring Tools for Healing Your counselor can also equip you with effective tools and techniques to make sense of your loss and grow through the process. Your counselor may teach you practical coping strategies such as journaling, mindfulness, breathing exercises, and other practical tools to help manage the sometimes-overwhelming emotions that come with grief.

While it can be hard, your counselor can also help you process the loss by exploring your relationship with your loved one, the circumstances of the loss, and what it all means for you. Part of the process is coming to terms with the reality of the loss. This involves integrating that loss into your current reality so that you can learn to live well in the wake of grief.

Replanting and Rebuilding A grief counselor can also help you find ways to not only honor your loved one and your relationship, but to rediscover meaning, purpose, and identity after the loss. Finding a renewed sense of purpose, connecting deeply with the Lord, and making the necessary life transitions are all part of the healing process.

Your counselor can help you to adjust and navigate new roles and circumstances that the loss thrusts you into. Walking alongside you, your counselor can help you nurture long-term emotional resilience, enabling you to handle future challenges.

Grief counseling is a helpful tool to use when you want to work your way through loss in a way that helps you rebuild and go on with life. Through honest, vulnerable conversations, setting clear goals and expectations with your counselor, engaging in counseling, and allowing yourself the time you need to heal, you find a way to live well.

If you’ve experienced loss, it affects you in small, imperceptible ways as well as large, obvious ones. With the help of a grief counselor, it’s possible to work through the grief, honor your loved one, and learn to live life in changed circumstances. Don’t hesitate to reach out to a grief counselor for help navigating the emotions and experiences stemming from loss.