Finding Support in Times of Suffering

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? – Psalm 22:1, NIV

To the sufferer, these verses resonate with the deepest heartache one can experience. Whether it be a loss of a loved one, a betrayal, an illness, or one of the many pains of living in a broken world, this kind of pain can lead to one feeling isolated and alone, as if no one can truly understand the depths of the sorrow and pain. This type of pain can lead to feeling furthest from God, prompting the question, “Where are you?”

Suffering in the Book of Job

In times of suffering, when the feeling of isolation hits deepest, the book of Job can bring comfort. Job, described by God as “blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil” (Job 1:8), teaches the sufferer that tragedy doesn’t always stem from one’s own failure.

Rather, even the righteous aren’t safe from the suffering of this sin-tainted world. However, this insight can also bring fear, because it means tragedy is unpredictable, which goes against the human desire for predictability and security.

In attempts for security, the sufferer and even their close friends and family will make desperate attempts to make sense of the tragedy. Job laments and cries out to the Lord in various verses:

Teach me, and I will be quiet; show me where I have been wrong. – Job 6:24, NIV

Your hands shaped me and made me… Remember that you molded me like clay. Will you now turn me to dust again? – Job 10:8-12, NIV

Why do the wicked live on, growing old and increasing in power? – Job 21:7, NIV

In times of despair and chaos, it’s only natural to seek understanding, order, and a sense of control. For the ones close to the sufferer, watching a loved one in anguish can be unbearable. Desperate attempts can be made to take away the pain, out of a strong sense of empathy.

Job’s Friends – Miserable Comforters

However, this desire can lead those surrounding the sufferer to respond in ways that can be more damaging than comforting. At times, the fear of unpredictable strife can also lead to responses that try to make sense of the suffering, like Job’s friends’ responses.

Consider now: Who, being innocent, has ever perished? Where were the upright ever destroyed? As I have observed, those who plow evil and those who sow trouble reap it. – Job 4:7–8, NIV

Blessed is the one whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. – Job 5:17–18, NIV

Attempting to give answers and make sense of the chaos, Job’s friends left him feeling more isolated, more alone, and more misunderstood. What Job needed was someone to listen, sit with him in the pain, and to provide comforting silence, yet be present.

So where does one turn in the depths of darkness? What Job’s friends failed to do, God did. In Job’s deepest sense of isolation and distance from God, he cries out:

“If only there were someone to mediate between us, someone to bring us together.” – Job 9:33, NIV

In the suffering, Job can understand that he needs someone to bring him closer to God when God feels distant.

How God Responds

A mediator is given in Jesus Christ, someone who stands between God and man. The supreme source of love and empathy.

There is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus. – 1 Tim 2:5, NIV

God does not watch from afar but willingly chose to bear the suffering we deserved. Like Job, Jesus, the ultimate example of sinlessness and righteousness, willingly suffered without guilt. Like Job, Jesus suffered at the hands of those who considered themselves righteous and all-understanding. Like Job among ashes, Jesus laments in the garden of Gethsemane and finally on the cross, taking Job’s lament fully onto Himself.

“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” – Matthew 27:46, NIV

On the cross, Jesus absorbed the punishment we deserved, evil was defeated, and God showed us how He rules by love; a love so great that He entered this world and experienced the pain of living in a broken world with us. In a world where suffering is inescapable, the Father sent Jesus to live among us and defend us as he defended Job against his “friends.”

“My anger burns against you and against your two friends, for you have not spoken of me what is right, as my servant Job has.” – Job 42:7, NIV

On the cross, Jesus modeled perfect empathy, experiencing suffering, pain, and lament, fully paying for the sins of His people by His death.

When Job and the sufferer ask: “Where is God in the suffering?” Jesus responds, “I’m here on the cross.”

Silent in His Death, But Present in Our Suffering

Are you suffering and in the depths, feeling isolated by those you love most – not from their lack of love, but rather from their lack of knowing the right words to say? Know that there are professionals who understand Scripture and how it sheds light on responding to those who are suffering.

If you don’t want to lose yourself in the suffering, a Christian counselor can provide a comforting presence by sitting with you through the sorrow and pointing you to respite in the One who bore all the world’s suffering. Know that you are not alone and that although suffering may vary, we all experience it to varying degrees, and it is an experience that binds all humanity.

My Ending Prayer

In a world currently ruled by Satan, I pray in the name of Jesus Christ that You do not allow the sufferer to believe the lies of the enemy, telling them that they are alone. I pray that you surround the sufferer with people who will sit with them in their pain, who will not seek answers or understanding in their suffering, but rather offer a loving, silent presence, as You did on the cross.

Instead of trying to remove the pain, they find someone who will sit in the discomfort of that pain and, in this way, remind them of your love. I pray You allow them to see in time that You willingly chose to suffer on the cross for them, and by doing so, You have defeated evil, and we now have hope for a future world where suffering and pain will exist no more.

Amen