Building Self-Esteem Through Goal Setting

Have you ever noticed that when your self-esteem is low, so is your motivation? Making plans is challenging when you lack confidence. You may not want to go out publicly or feel despair and shame. Your self-esteem can affect every aspect of your life.

Building self-esteem is possible through the power of goal setting. But what exactly is self-esteem?

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is how you perceive yourself. We often base our beliefs about ourselves on past performances or experiences or because of what someone has said about us. Rarely, do we see ourselves the way God sees us, as capable, inspiring, and loved.

Whether you have high or low self-esteem is based on three factors from Maslow’s Hierarchy:

• If your physiological needs are met, like water, food, and clothing.
• If you feel safe and secure, such as shelter and employment.
• If you feel loved and accepted, you have a sense of belonging.

These factors are known as levels in Maslow’s hierarchy, which is depicted as a pyramid with basic needs as the largest level across the bottom. After meeting these three levels, you can begin building self-esteem and confidence through achievements and recognition.

Self-esteem includes respect, resiliency, courage, and confidence. It is how you see yourself.

Why is building self-esteem critical?

To reach a level of self-actualization, you need to raise your self-esteem. Your current level of self-esteem also predicts how well you will do in a career, academics, and relationships. It can also predict whether you are more likely to have issues in those areas or trouble with the law.

Low self-esteem can also lead to risky behaviors like drinking too much alcohol, drug abuse, and eating disorders.

You will never reach your full potential if you struggle with self-esteem (or any basic levels). Now is the time to work on building self-esteem, so that you can reach your goals and see your dreams come to fruition.

How to set goals for building self-esteem

Building self-esteem begins with achievements and recognition. Your confidence soars when you accomplish a goal or even a task leading to achieving a goal. Recognition boosts your self-esteem when others see you meeting your goals.

The following are tips for building self-esteem through goal setting. You can practice this with any goal. Some people work on multiple goals at once, but you may want to start small by focusing on one goal you can reach quickly.

Build your confidence in your strengths

There are specific areas in which you feel confident in your strengths. Identifying your strengths and leaning into those can boost your confidence. Make a list of the things you know you are excellent at doing. Maybe that is decorating, carpentry, acting, telling stories, or creating recipes.

Build on your strengths by being teachable. Learn how to do that thing better. Learn the craft. You can take a course online, work toward a degree or certification, or join a club or group. You can also find plenty of free videos, courses, and articles online. The library probably has a treasure trove of resources you can borrow.

Make a list of goals

Do you have a list of goals? People who write out their goals are more likely to achieve them. According to a Harvard Business study that followed MBA students for ten years after graduation found that only 3% of the students wrote down their goals while in school. However, this small group made ten times as much money a decade later than their peers.

How can this be? When you write down your goals, you start a process. Your subconscious begins looking for opportunities. To reach your goals, you need to change your behavior, create new habits, and drop poor ones.

For example, if you want to lose twenty pounds by this time next year, you may need to change your behavior from sleeping to waking up at 5:00 a.m. to work out. Instead of snacking on chips and energy drinks, you may need to choose healthier options like protein, veggies, fruit, and a bottle of water.

As you write your goals, make them specific and attainable within a time frame. For example, if you need to lose weight for health reasons, you could note, “I will lose twenty pounds of excess weight one year from today.” You have chosen a specific amount (twenty pounds) to be lost in one year (time frame). This equals a little less than two pounds a month over twelve months (an attainable goal).

Choose one goal that you can accomplish first

You may choose to start with a small list of goals, such as three, five, or ten. Next, ask yourself which of these goals could make all the others possible. You may have several goals that span different areas of your life. For the moment, choose one that you think you may be able to achieve faster.

For example, your list may look like this:

• Pay off the mortgage.
• Lose twenty pounds.
• Get the promotion at work to Project Coordinator.
• Update the main bathroom.

At first glance, these goals seem unrelated. But take a closer look. If you get the promotion at work, you will have a better chance of having money to update the bathroom and, eventually, pay off the mortgage. Losing extra weight means adopting new behaviors and mindset, and you can accomplish this alongside your main goal of getting a promotion (but at a slower pace).

Break your goal down into small tasks

Perhaps at your company, you need a Project Management certification before applying for the Project Coordinator position. Break this goal down into smaller tasks. For example, you would research certifications online for the requirements, explore the costs, and take the courses. You may need to create a project and work with a team before you receive the certification.

As you reach each milestone, your confidence and self-esteem will grow. You are planning and working, and you are reaching your goals. Consider each small task another goal. Do not wait until you get the Project Coordinator role; celebrate your wins with every milestone.

Choose you

When you struggle with low self-esteem, asserting yourself may be challenging. Even when you do not want to do something, you cannot seem to speak up. But being assertive is choosing you. Although we have family members and friends who may love us, people are human. They will often select their wants and needs over others. You probably know people like this who do not seem to notice how their behavior affects you.

The only person who achieves your goals is you. You must protect your dreams and what you want for the future. This means choosing you when others do not have your best interest at heart or do not understand how important your goals are to you. You are not being rude or selfish by standing up for what is important.

Being assertive probably does not come naturally to you. Begin by raising your head and straightening your posture. Walking with good posture gives you a sense of confidence. Make eye contact with others. You may find that you duck your head when you pass people. Try to keep your eyes on them instead and smile. Voice your opinion when you feel the need instead of hiding your true self. If you need help with assertiveness, consider speaking to a counselor.

When you need help with personal development

Are you having trouble building self-esteem? Contact our office today to schedule an appointment with a counselor specializing in personal development and building self-esteem. Changing your perception about yourself can be difficult, but with professional help, we can help you see yourself the way God sees you – as confident, self-assured, strong, courageous, and a son or daughter of the King. Give us a call today.