A huge part of what it means to be a grown-up is to know how to stand on your own two feet. As you mature you ought to be able to know how to pay your bills, earn an income, build healthy relationships, and learn how to effectively handle conflicts in relationships, trusting God to mature you as you grow in sanctification.

A deepening executive function, meaning the ability to make plans and then take steps to execute those plans to achieve your goals, ought to come with growing up.

While it’s important to avoid codependence, healthy independence does not mean that you don’t or cannot rely on others in life. It’s impossible to go through life without some measure of dependence on others. Our lives are so interwoven with others’ lives that we cannot live an isolated existence, and it’s not healthy to do so.

Healthy independence allows you to make your own decisions, but to seek wisdom from others because you understand your limits. This matters all the more when it comes to God and how we live our lives.

We cannot flourish without trusting others.

Being in loving relationships with others means entrusting ourselves to them. You can’t cultivate intimacy without being vulnerable, and you can’t be vulnerable without trusting the other person with yourself. Our relationships and lives cannot thrive without trust, but the key is whom you trust. Some people break our trust, and that can make us bitter and unwilling to trust again. The one who deserves our wholehearted trust is God.

God is trustworthy, but it doesn’t come easy for many people to trust Him. Disappointment and hurt can lead a person to distrust God. It is important to remember that no matter how we feel, God always keeps His word.

God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? – Numbers 23:19, NIV

Unlike people who change their minds, or who can lie, God always tells the truth, and He is not fickle. Often, when we are disappointed with God, our own expectations that we’ve set are the culprit, and not God’s character. ‬‬

Bible verses about trusting God.

One popular Bible passage about trusting God is found in Proverbs:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones. – Proverbs 3:5-8, ESV

Our way of thinking and of understanding the world is limited, compared to God’s. Even when we are adults, our wisdom cannot be compared to God’s understanding of the world. Instead of trusting our perceptions and conclusions about the world, we ought to trust God’s. Having a child-like trust that God knows best will save us from decisions that seem wise in the moment, but that are ultimately foolish.

As individuals and as a society, we decide what is wise in our own eyes, but our self-interest as well as shortsightedness often mean that we hurt each other and ourselves in the process. One just has to look at how we conduct dating and romantic relationships and see the damage and deep heartbreak we cause each other in that area of life, to see how choosing our own way doesn’t end well. We are to trust God’s way and reasons, not our own.

Learning to cultivate trust‬.

You may have experienced deep betrayals of trust in your life, such as abandonment and neglect. Those wounds are hard to overcome, and healing doesn’t happen overnight and without hard work. Maybe trusting in God feels like too large a leap for you, even though you’re open to it. Trust is built over time, and you may need space to cultivate that with God.

It’s possible to take those first steps toward healing by seeking help to address any areas of broken trust in your life. Through counseling, you can unpack the feelings and thoughts that accompany any betrayals of trust you’ve experienced.

There are likely distrustful behaviors that you’ve settled into to protect yourself from further harm, but these may be stunting your relationships with others. Your counselor can help you discern these behaviors, as well as any unhelpful thought patterns that reinforce a lack of trust in God and others.

While it may take time, being able to trust God will change your life for the better. He is trustworthy and good, and He desires to bring you flourishing and blessing. If you want to begin moving toward wholeness today, reach out and connect with a Christian counselor who will walk with you on that life-changing journey.

Photos:
“Open Bible”, Courtesy of Worshae, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Reading”, Courtesy of Simon Maage, Unsplash.com, Unsplash+ License; “Tole Lege”, Courtesy of San Smile, Unsplash.com, CC0 License