Reasons to Consider Christian Couples Counseling

Relationships don’t come ready-made out of the box. There’s a lot of growth, negotiation, mutual understanding, and accommodation that happens to make a relationship flourish. These skills aren’t obvious, and not everyone has them from the outset. However, we all can learn, and that capacity for growth means that we can improve our relationships. One avenue for growth is through seeking couples counseling.

There are many reasons an individual might consider seeing a counselor. When two people begin a relationship, each with their own unique personalities and histories, the potential for misunderstandings, conflict, and hurt increases. Going to counseling as a couple can help you navigate these kinds of challenges and build a healthier partnership between you.

What is Christian couples counseling?

Christian couples counseling is a form of talk therapy where two people are guided by a professional with training to help them navigate the many thorny issues that often come up in relationships. The counselor has many years of specialized training to help them understand the dynamics of human relationships and to help you understand your situation better.

When you go for counseling, it’s a partnership relationship. It’s important that you feel comfortable with your counselor’s approach and that you trust them. Without that trust, it’s hard to undergo the process, putting in the work that takes time before you see its fruit. This therapeutic alliance is important for getting the most out of your sessions.

Couples counseling addresses a wide range of issues, but one of the important things is to come with the willingness to change and grow. Being open to the counseling process helps you receive what your counselor has for you, whether it’s encouragement and pointing out your strengths as a couple or highlighting unhealthy patterns of behavior. Your counselor wants to help you, and that’s the posture to take to get the most out of your time.

Some Reasons to Consider Christian Couples Counseling

Counseling can be a challenging process, particularly because it can bring up painful past issues, revisit present wounds, and highlight areas of growth. Having reasons why you’re going for counseling can help you stay the course. Below are some reasons people go for counseling, as well as the kinds of issues that Christian couples counseling addresses.

Christian couples counseling can be beneficial in addressing a variety of concerns, and some reasons to seek counseling include the following:

Strengthening your future marriage Many couples go through some relationship counseling before getting married in order to begin their marriage on a strong footing. This process allows them to preempt potential problems down the line by understanding each other’s expectations and developing some helpful strategies for communication and problem-solving.

Communication breakdown One of the most important aspects of a healthy relationship is effective communication. This is necessary to prevent misunderstandings that can lead to resentment and emotional distance. Therapy can help a couple learn good communication skills and cultivate empathy toward each other.

Repeatedly having the same arguments If you are repeatedly fighting about the same things and not reaching a resolution to them, resentment could build up between you. Therapy can help you learn how to navigate these disagreements in healthier ways, identifying the underlying problems and developing the skills needed for successful conflict resolution.

Emotional disconnect When a couple begins to feel like they are growing apart, the whole relationship may be called into question. But this does not mean that there is no way forward in these situations. Emotional distance or disconnect between a couple may be a sign of something more serious, but counseling can provide an opportunity to explore and find a way forward together.

Counseling can help you to identify the root causes of such a disconnect and provide a space where both can openly and honestly express their needs. By fostering open communication and helping the couple gain insight into one another and empathy for each other, the couple may find ways to reconnect over shared values and interests.

Loss of physical intimacy If there are problems related to sexual intimacy in the relationship, it may cause frustration, loneliness, and tension between the couple. Counseling can provide a safe space for the couple to share their concerns and build greater trust, helping them to regain their intimate physical connection.

Infidelity or trust issues If one or both partners have considered or had an affair, it could have devastating effects on both people involved. There could be many feelings at play in an affair, including feelings of betrayal, broken trust, anger, sadness, resentment and loss. It is important to discuss and process the emotional and mental impact of the affair, to begin the journey toward healing.

Counseling provides a safe space to share your thoughts and process your feelings around the affair. It is also a good space for identifying any underlying issues that may have contributed to the situation as well as to facilitate honest, productive communication, and rebuild trust between the couple.

Unresolved baggage from the past If a person is still carrying the emotional weight of something in the past that wasn’t resolved, it could negatively impact the relationship and hinder the couple’s ability to move forward. Counseling provides a supportive environment to address wounds and heal from them, developing mutual understanding and working toward a resolution.

Financial conflicts Disagreements over finances are among the most common challenges to relationships. They can affect trust, communication, and the overall satisfaction of the couple. Therapy can help you develop ways to work together toward financial goals as a team, based on shared values, beliefs and a mutual understanding of expectations.

A person may also carry deeply rooted emotional concerns related to finances. Counseling can help identify these concerns, create a shared vision between a couple, and foster healthy communication patterns about finances.

Parenting challenges Disagreements about how to raise children with someone else can be tied to deeply held convictions from one’s own childhood. Counseling can help improve the dynamics in the home, teach conflict resolution skills, as well as help to create a unified approach to parenting. It can also promote better communication, empathy and problem-solving strategies.

Considering divorce or breakup If either one of the partners has reached a point of considering divorce or separation, counseling will help both parties to not make hasty decisions. It is valuable to determine if there is any potential for saving the relationship, and if not, it can provide help and guidance to find acceptance and ensure a healthier transition.

Couples counseling can help a couple have a productive conversation in which they can explore the decisions they make about their relationship. Not only can it help identify the underlying issues, but it can help them find solutions, address various concerns, and improve communication while rebuilding trust between the couple.

Impacting other aspects of life If the state of your relationship is getting to a point that it is impacting other aspects of your life, whether your health, work or social life, then it may be time for couples counseling. Whether there is a need for healthy communication skills, conflict resolution or identifying underlying problems, counseling can help you build a healthier relationship.

You want a healthier relationship The usefulness of counseling isn’t limited to problem-solving, crisis management, and conflict resolution. Sometimes, a couple may choose counseling because they feel that their relationship could do with a boost. Even without experiencing any significant issues between them, a couple may choose counseling to help them create a stronger bond in their relationship.

Counseling can help a couple maintain and strengthen the connection between them, clarify expectations, and help them create and work toward relationship goals. And by working to foster greater empathy and understanding of each other and their expectations of the relationship, it can preemptively prevent future conflict as the couple builds a God-honoring relationship.

Next Steps

Christian couples counseling can help you build a healthy relationship, whether you’re dealing with issues that are currently affecting the relationship or preemptively building strong foundations. Whether you’re struggling or in a good place, consider Christian couples counseling to get wise, compassionate, and empathetic professional guidance for your relationship.