For some, worrying feels as natural as breathing, and being told to stop worrying feels like an impossible ask. The way to stop worrying is not by simply gritting your teeth and telling yourself to stop. It takes time and effort, but there are effective tools you can use to help you stop worrying and reclaim peace.
Why do people worry?
One of the first things to address as you seek to understand and overcome worry is to figure out why people worry. Jesus repeatedly tells His disciples not to worry, dedicating time and space to reassure them of the Father’s care and concern for His people (Matthew 6:25-34). Even among God’s people, worry is a reality. We may not worry about the same things, or to the same extent, but we all have moments when worry consumes us.
Worry can be seen as a natural emotional response one has to certain life situations. Worrying is when your mind and heart go around in circles over a particular issue, trying to make sense of things. Worry is not the same thing as brainstorming or problem-solving. Worry is repetitive, involving dwelling on a situation or possible outcomes, without taking action to change things.
People tend to worry when they experience uncertainty or when they feel concern about the future and possible outcomes of actions. People also worry when they face real or perceived threats to their well-being. Worry engages the mind even when there’s nothing more that can be done. For instance, worrying over a test that’s already been taken, or decisions that are out of our hands.
A key reason why we worry is that we have an innate desire to control the situations we find ourselves in. Worry feels like a way to tame the uncontrollable, to put our fears to rest. Whether to protect ourselves or to prepare for potential challenges ahead, worry can feel like a way to handle a situation that is truly out of our control.
Is it unspiritual or unchristian to worry?
A believer may find themselves contending with the question of whether they are being unfaithful when they worry. Is it a sign of a lack of trust in the Lord? Many factors contribute to why people worry, making worry a complex experience to categorize.
People worry as a result of past experiences, for instance. You’re more likely inclined to ruminate if things have gone awry in the past, and you anticipate it could happen again. A person’s personality may predispose them to worrying, and there may also be biological factors that play a role in how much a particular individual worries.
Worrying is a common human experience, but that doesn’t make it a morally neutral feeling either. If our worry is rooted in the desire for control, in our fear, and a way to protect ourselves, it raises the question of where our trust and hopes lie. Many biblical characters we encounter indeed express worry or anxiety, reminding us that we are not alone in the struggle.
What Scripture does in passages such as Philippians 4:6-7 or Matthew 6:25-34 is to encourage believers not to live lives mired in worry and anxiety. The antidote, it seems, is to trust that God cares for you and that He is in sovereign control of your circumstances. You don’t have to worry because God’s got you. Instead of worrying, pray. Instead of looking inward to your own strength, look to the Lord for help.
These and other Scriptures may not necessarily show that you’re being unspiritual or unfaithful when you worry. They aren’t functioning as a condemnation of worry, but as an attempt at lightening the loads we place upon ourselves. Instead of condemning us, these and many other passages in Scripture are inviting us into a place of peace through steadfast faith and reliance on a good God.
When Worry Becomes Unhelpful
Have you ever done something thinking it would help you, but it turned out to be bad for you? Sometimes the things we do with the best intentions don’t always work out as hoped. There’s a sense in which a little bit of worry can be beneficial, but a lot isn’t helpful. If thinking about a problem or situation leads to problem-solving and positive action, that’s a good thing.
The problem with worry is that it is often unproductive. Worry can leave you paralyzed, thinking the same thoughts over and over again, without actually moving forward. If your mind were a room, worry makes you wear deep holes in the carpet, all the while leaving you without actual solutions. You pace back and forth, but the problem doesn’t get any smaller, and the issue remains.
Worry can become chronic, derailing you by interfering with everyday life. At its worst, worry can give rise to anxiety disorders, which severely hamper your ability to function, make effective decisions, and enjoy life. Worry can even generate a cycle where you worry about your worrying, amplifying stress and making it hard to cope.
If worry has a grip on you, it begins to take a toll on your mental, emotional, and physical health. When you’re worried, it can prevent you from sleeping well. Poor sleep causes all sorts of problems, including fatigue, difficulty concentrating, poor emotional regulation, and irritability. Chronic worry may also result in digestive issues, a weakened immune system, and headaches.
Worry can impact your relationships. If you worry or are an overly anxious person, that can manifest as neediness, being clingy, withdrawal, or even as overprotectiveness. These traits can cause significant strain in a relationship. If you worry a lot, it can hinder open communication in the relationship, as you fear that discussing concerns might cause conflict or damage the relationship.
How to Stop Worrying – Some Helpful Tips
Worrying might feel natural to you, or perhaps you only experience it periodically, but with intensity. Some of the ways you can overcome worry and bring it under control would include the following:
Be mindful Being mindful is about grounding yourself in the present moment. It’s about being more aware of the here and now and learning to reduce any tendencies to dwell on the future or uncertainties. You can train yourself to focus on what your senses are perceiving, to notice your breathing, and how your body is feeling. Focusing on the here and now and celebrating it can be one way to stop worrying.
Cognitive restructuring Sometimes we worry as a well-worn pattern of thinking and being, even when we know it doesn’t benefit us. Instead of accepting worry as a given, it’s possible to challenge negative thought patterns. These patterns should be weighed as you consider evidence for or against your worries. Don’t take the negative thought patterns as givens that can’t be challenged or disrupted.
Prayer Engaging in prayer and meditating on comforting Scriptures can provide you with solace and a sense of comfort. These practices can also help you discover reasons to relinquish your worries to the Lord.
Make healthy lifestyle choices To counteract the negative effects of worry, make healthy choices such as regular exercise, eat a balanced diet, and get enough sleep each night. This can improve your resilience. If you’re in a better frame of mind and have a healthy body, it helps you cope with stress.
Set aside worry time Worrying can overtake your life. Instead of giving it free rein, allocate a specific time each day to acknowledge your worries, which can serve to prevent them from intruding on daily activities. Present your worries to the Lord and slowly learn the discipline of letting those worries go once you’ve handed them over to Him.
Seek support Worrying is an all-too-common experience, but it can be managed. You don’t have to do it alone, though. Talk to wise and trusted friends and family about the things you’re worrying about. You can also speak with a professional, like a Christian counselor. They can provide you with perspective and practical strategies to process your fears better and reduce feelings of isolation.
With compassion toward yourself and eyes of faith, you can learn to manage your worrying to improve your well-being. Reach out for support and talk with someone to stop worrying. The counselors on this site can help.
Photo:
“Worry Less”, Courtesy of Kelly Sikkema, Unsplash.com, CC0 License
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