Dating Advice for Men: 5 Tips for Long-Distance Relationships

Being in a relationship with someone brings a unique blend of blessings and challenges. These will vary depending on who you’re in the relationship with, the nature of your relationship, and the circumstances you’re in at the moment. At its core, however, relationships (whether short or long-distance relationships) are about two people with a bond who have committed themselves to each other, to love and support each other as well as work through challenges they may face.

A long-distance relationship isn’t radically different from other relationships but being apart from the person you care about does bring certain challenges. Likewise, though, it also offers opportunities that may strengthen the relationship. A long-distance relationship has every chance of being as rich and fulfilling as any other kind of relationship, but it’s wise to know what you’re getting yourself into.

Long-Distance Relationships and You

People come into a long-distance relationship in different ways. Some couples are in an in-person relationship for a while before circumstances shift, and one or both parties change locations while deciding to stay together. It could be a change for college, work, to take care of family, or for other reasons. The change could be for a short or long season, or the relationship may be periodically long-distance, like service members who deploy to duty.

Other relationships start their life as a long-distance relationship. Sometimes this carries the anxiety of what it will be like to meet and interact in person, or if it’s an elaborate online scam after all. However your relationship began, there are some things to consider, including ways to make a long-distance relationship work.

Making Long-Distance Relationships Work

Long-distance relationships will have their blessings, quirks, and challenges. Some things to consider as you go into such a relationship include:

Do you do well with distance?

Likely the most obvious thing to consider is that when your beloved is away from you, physical distance plays a huge role in how you interact. In a long-distance relationship, you can’t just pop in to surprise them at work or go for a leisurely walk after your dinner. If you crave physical connection such as holding hands or rubbing your loved one’s shoulder, the distance impacts that.

Communication is key

In any relationship, communication is key, but this is ramped up somewhat in a long-distance relationship. During the pandemic, most of us likely discovered the nuances in human interactions that make a world of difference between working from home and interacting with colleagues in the office. Just like a text can miss subtext, there’s some difference between talking in person and over FaceTime.

One of the things that happens on account of distance is that it can become easier to make assumptions or leap to judgments. Paranoia can set in, and messages left on your social media, or a missed daily check-in can be taken as a threat to your relationship. It’s also possible to begin idealizing your partner because you don’t see them every day, distorting reality.

Communicating well means checking in with each other, and you can do this through a routine call or message at certain times of day to gain a sense of routine and normalcy. Other couples, however, choose to keep it loose and connect organically so that communication doesn’t feel forced, and resentment doesn’t develop over having to connect even when there’s nothing to say.

However you choose to communicate, it’s important to have clear ground rules and set clear expectations. It is also important to make sure that in your conversations you both feel valued and heard.

Plan for the future

A long-distance relationship cannot go on forever – at some point, there must be hope and an end in sight to the separation. You can help each other by giving each other milestones or something to look forward to like seeing each other in person for a vacation or brief visit, or looking at apartments in places where you could both happily stay and work.

Embrace the little things

When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you might feel pressured to make each conversation count and to have deep and heavy interactions. Simply connecting over the mundane, day-to-day things can actually help you feel connected and involved in each other’s lives. Don’t shy away from quick messages or calls to simply check in and close the distance.

Be intentional about dating

Just because you are apart does not mean you can’t share experiences. We live in an amazing time where we can communicate across the globe and share things like a movie night, cook together over a video call, watch a sunrise or sunset together if you’re in the same time zone, or take your loved one on a virtual tour of your city and daily routines.

Relationships require certain things of us, such as patience and the ability to understand and express what we feel. It is important to respond appropriately to other’s emotions and handle conflict when it arises. A long-distance relationship requires these things too, only they have to be done while apart from one another.

Support for the Journey

With intentionality and good communication, a healthy and fulfilling long-distance relationship is worth investing time and effort in. Each person has to know themselves well enough to know if they can handle such a relationship, and to have a frank discussion if it’s not working.

To navigate the distance and all other aspects of building a healthy relationship, you may need support. There is help available in the form of counseling to help you process your thoughts and feelings, as well as equip you to handle the relationship well.

Any relationship will benefit from you exploring your childhood experiences and their impact on your life. If you would like to consider counseling, reach out to our office today at Texas Christian Counseling in Rockwall. We will connect you with a Christian therapist in Rockwall who would be more than happy to journey with you to relational wellness.