People often use the phrase, “God won’t put more on you than you can bear.” It isn’t a scripture, but it’s often quoted to console ourselves when inundated with life’s stressors. Sometimes, it isn’t God so much as it is us. We are the ones who heap more onto our plates than we can manage. We bite off more than we can chew and become overwhelmed by the mounting pressures faced in our most meaningful roles and significant responsibilities.
Our attempts to keep up with the demands of other people, and commitments between family, work, and other areas can launch us into an anxious frenzy. Whether it is trying to meet everyone’s needs with an individually sized portion of strength, energy, and time, we can find ourselves worried and stressed.
It is likely more taxing for us to compete with our own notions of what we think will satisfy the people in our lives than what they may actually want and truly need. It is the on-ramp to burnout. When we find our minds accelerating with our lives and heartbeats, it may be time to pump the brakes and pull over to rest and regroup.
Stress has often been referred to as a silent killer. It stealthily slips in when good intentions and high expectations meet. We commit to a set of standards that outpace what we can reasonably manage with the time and other resources at our disposal. Sometimes, it emerges from others, but often we add or adopt them as our own responsibility. Overcommitted and overextended, our schedules burst with a calendar full of agreements that seem difficult to rescind.
Stress and Shame
If we have had a history of high performance or closeted perfectionism, canceling our commitment to our ideals and expectations can make us feel as if we are failing somehow. Disappointing family, friends, or even people in our faith circle seems unimaginable. Yet, when we burn through caution signals and warnings built into our bodies, the toll is taken on our well-being inside and out. Anxiety and stress demand their payment as we surrender peace, sleep, and physical and mental rest, in the process. Instead of feeling productive and fulfilled, we trade fear that renders us dissatisfied with what we couldn’t do.
Succumbing to the stress of people-pleasing slides shame under the radar. Shame moves silently in the shadows of our minds, causing us to feel disenchanted with ourselves. If we have experienced the mental fog that causes us to forget deadlines, miss appointments, or check out of conversations where we need to be present, we may need to pay attention to the threat of burnout and stress. These signals plead with us to pay attention and pause.
We feel spent, yet unworthy, as if for all the activity we still must resume our place on the treadmill and respond to every need.
Super(natural)-Sized Strength
This perspective assumes that there are no creative routes to our destination. We can’t direct the traffic and drive the vehicle of our lives. We can’t do everything, as Jesus alone can meet every need. Though we are part of His Body and created in God’s Image, we are not God. It is unrealistic for us to think that we can do all He does to and for the people in our lives without God-sized strength.
The Holy Spirit will equip us for what is our portion to steward. He will grace us for what He intends for us to bear. However, sometimes our ideas about what that involves are misguided. We often esteem our expectations through a lens that imagines a perfect world, and if not flawless, then one that meets a high standard that doesn’t match the reality we live in. Before we hit the gas and spin out of control, we need to pause our pursuit and refresh with the Lord.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30 ESV
Signal for Help
Signal to the people in your life circle. Abandon the silence that shame imposes. It keeps us separated from the strength and strategies that God often uses to meet our weakness with His solutions. Make it clear to those you trust that you need the kind of help you cannot offer yourself. No one can live this life alone and we aren’t meant to.
Superman and Wonder Woman only exist in the comic universe, and you are not here to audition for those roles.
Don’t be afraid to allow others the opportunity to step up and support. Be realistic with the ones you share responsibilities with and convey what your immediate needs are, if you know. Reset your perspective and view this as an opportunity to receive through unexpected avenues. God blesses those who give to you, just as He has blessed you when you have given (Acts 20:35).
Slow Your Pace
Slow down. Look through your life and assess where you need to shift something off your plate. Revisit projects and consider recalibrating the scope of what you need to complete. Can the deadline be extended? How can you break the assignment up into more digestible pieces? Where can you enlist help to share the load and manage your targets and timelines with ease?
If you don’t apply the brakes, then you will likely crash and burn. You don’t want to encounter what that could look like, especially if you already feel overwhelmed and behind schedule. Even if it seems that you are running on empty and subsisting on fumes, you will need to carve out time to disengage. If you don’t choose it, life will opt into it for you, likely at a time and in a way that is inconvenient.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters – Psalms 23:2 NIV
Stop for Stillness
Consider getting away for a few days or hours, depending on your situation. Use a break time, a day off, or a chosen space for silence. Turn off your devices for a few hours. Temporarily unplug from the people, places, and things that you sense are draining your energy. Most of all, disconnect from the anxious mindset that persuades you that you must be “on” all the time and use the stillness as a time to recharge your battery.
In your pause, be still and ask the Lord, allowing Him to minister what needs to be resumed, when, and how. Ask for specifics and He will answer. Write what He says. Rest in what He reveals, guided by the Holy Spirit into what next needs to look like.
Shift Gears
Talk with those who are accustomed to your previous pace. Share your reflections on any changes that have occurred in you and explain how you may shift gears going forward. Inform others of your need for accountability and support. It is common to encounter some resistance, but don’t abandon your new pace and place of peace. Those around you will adjust and adapt to new boundaries as you learn and practice healthier approaches to addressing stressors.
Next steps
While you are on this site, consider your next step. Search for a counselor. Make an appointment to make a life-altering change. Permit yourself to receive God’s rest; remove the burden, and recover from burnout. Get going with a rhythm that navigates you toward what matters and what you want to encounter and experience in your abundant life.
“2023 diary”, Courtesy Unsplash.com, Unsplash+ License
