7 Signs of a Toxic Marriage

Do you feel like your marriage is in trouble? Marriage is hard work, and arguments and disagreements will happen. Hard times will come. However, a toxic marriage has to do with the breakdown of behavior in the relationship between both spouses to the degree that it is abusive or borderline abusive.

Toxic Marriage Signs

There are several signs of a toxic marriage to watch for. As you read through the following signs, remember that your relationship does not need to hit on all of them to be harmful. For example, if your spouse controls your movements, decisions, thoughts, work, finances, and clothing, you are in an unhealthy marriage.

A toxic marriage typically ends in divorce unless a behavior change is apparent. Too many abusive spouses own up to their behavior and then “love bomb” their partner to get back into their good graces, only to revert to their bad behavior. Remember that you cannot change or “fix” your spouse. If you stay in a toxic marriage, eventually, your physical, mental, and emotional health will suffer.

Your Spouse is Controlling

If your spouse controls your actions, decisions, or thoughts, or if they control finances, food, and clothing to the degree that you have no say, you are in a toxic relationship. This person wants you to rely solely on them for basic needs. They will keep you from bettering yourself and scoffing at your opinions.

You Feel on Edge

A toxic marriage will make you walk on eggshells, afraid of the next disagreement. Your spouse may have anger outbursts over small things or give you the silent treatment. You are unsure of their response from one day to the next, so you live on the edge, constantly anxious. They may yell and insult you, find a way to punish you with silence, or do something vindictive.

Your Spouse Belittles You

Your spouse may belittle you by making condescending or insulting comments. They may do this privately or have no qualms in calling you out in front of others. When they comment in front of other people, they often look like the victim or the hero for having to deal with you. When you snap back, they may gaslight you, making you feel crazy or like you are blowing everything out of proportion.

You Would Rather Be Alone

You look forward to your spouse being gone. You would rather be alone than deal with their drama and behavior. Every little argument turns into a big fight, and you feel drained and nervous just thinking about it. You may have even fantasized about your spouse being in an accident and never coming home.

You Don’t Trust Your Spouse

You do not trust your spouse, whether due to constant lying or infidelity. When you live with someone you do not trust, you activate the part of your brain responsible for the fight-or-flight response. Cortisol, the stress hormone, floods your body, preparing for action. This constant influx of stress can make you anxious, depressed, and physically ill. Addiction and substance abuse can make it difficult to trust your spouse. Often, people with addiction issues refuse to take full responsibility and instead place the blame on their partner.

Your Marriage Lacks Emotional or Physical Intimacy

There is a difference between intimacy and sex. Intimacy is the connection between a husband and wife. It is emotional as well as physical. It is the little touches as you pass by, holding hands, or sharing an inside joke with eye contact. Sex is a physical act. Your marriage may have little to no emotional or physical intimacy. You may have sex, but it lacks the connection your heart craves. This lack of intimacy leads to further emotional distancing.

Your Spouse Abuses You

There is no excuse for physical abuse. If your spouse hurts you, seek help immediately. This can be a dangerous situation, and you may need law enforcement to help you leave the toxic marriage. Keep in mind that abusers may love bomb you with exaggerated displays of love after an abusive episode to downplay their behavior. Or they may blame you for their lack of self-control. Seek help if this sounds familiar.

Christian Counseling in Rockwall, Texas

If you need couples counseling in Rockwall, Texas  due to a toxic marriage or you are considering leaving the relationship, contact our office today to schedule a session with a Christian counselor in Rockwall. Toxic marriages can be dangerous, and a counselor in Rockwall, Texas can provide you with emotional support to heal and move forward. Give us a call today at Texas Christian Counseling, Rockwall to get started.