Three Ways to Process Grief with God

Everyone experiences grief at some point. With any type of loss or major life transition, a person will experience some level of grief. Some situations only produce a little bit of grief – leaving one job to find another or a well-adjusted child goes off to college. Other situations – such as an unexpected job loss or the sudden death of a child – may produce more grief. This can make it difficult to process grief.

These situations come with huge emotions that need to be processed. These emotions that go unchecked can cause difficulty in future relationships with others and with God. However, the person who is seeking emotional health and wellness needs to process their grief with God.

Ways to Process Grief

Here are three ways to process grief with God:

1. Cry out to God

Pour out your emotions to God. Some of the best moments of intimacy with God happen when we are crying out to God. When we let out all our emotions and tell Him everything we’re thinking and feeling (even if they are negative emotions), this is when intimacy is best achieved. Tell God everything you feel about the situation. As you reveal more of what you feel, you may find lies and other, deeper, emotions underneath.

For example, sadness over the loss of a child may reveal anger at God about taking the child away. This may also uncover a deeper layer of bitterness and resentment toward God. God loves us through all our emotions. He can handle everything. Imagine God as a large person with a big shoulder. He can handle us crying on His shoulder.

God wants to be there for us. The more we bury and stuff our emotions, the more we rob ourselves of an opportunity to be intimate with the Lord.

When we open ourselves up and tell God all the difficult things we feel (even the anger and resentment we feel toward Him over our current life situation,) the more it allows us to be open to the Holy Spirit’s work in our lives. Additionally, we will hear more from the Holy Spirit because we are getting rid of the emotions that form a barrier between us and God.

2. Be the model

In generations past, people didn’t know how to express grief. They were often taught to suppress emotions and not to express them or they would be seen as weak or not relying on the Lord. However, the shortest and perhaps, most powerful Bible verse expresses Jesus’ emotions: “Jesus wept” (John 11:35).

Jesus revealed His vulnerability when He wept over His friend’s passing. Jesus made it a priority to process His grief before He stepped in and performed the miracle of raising Lazarus from the dead.

We can be a model for others when we process our emotions. Whether that’s writing them out in a journal or seeking professional help, we need to process our grief because it is so important for our emotional wellness.

3. Cling to the Word

When things are the most difficult, the encouragement we receive from the Word of God may be all we have. When we are going through a nearly impossible situation like the loss of a child or the sudden loss of a job, we need to know God sees all.

Reading through and memorizing the Scriptures of God’s promises will lift our spirits and allow us to process our emotions in a way that does not get projected onto God. There is great encouragement in reading about people in the Bible who have suffered immeasurable loss. Think for example about what we can learn from Ruth and Job.

These are just two examples of people who suffered tremendous loss. They did not allow their emotions to sever their relationship with God. Those difficult circumstances brought them closer to God and allowed them to see God working for their good when they needed Him the most.

Additionally, reading the Word helps us filter out society’s fallacies such as “trust your heart,” “God will only give you what you can handle,” and “If you want to do something right do it yourself.” Society feeds us lies all the time. We need to discern what is true and what the Bible says about who we are because of God’s mercy.

The weight of grief can be so heavy, it may feel impossible to bear. Yet, God calls us to cling to the Word, process our emotions, and cry out to God. These are the only things we have that will bring us the emotional peace and well-being we need during our most difficult circumstances. By clinging to the promises of God, we can get through anything, knowing that God will always be there for us.

If you would like to meet with a Christian counselor in Rockwall, Texas to get further help in processing grief with a biblical perspective, please give our office a call today at Rockwall Christian Counseling in Texas.