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Attachment Issues in Relationships: What Attachment Style are You?

Attachment Issues in Relationships: What Attachment Style are You?

By Rockwall Christian Counseling|2024-09-05T06:49:25+00:00September 5th, 2024|Abandonment and Neglect, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Answer the following questions honestly to determine your attachment style. Choose the option that best describes your typical reactions, feelings, thoughts, and behaviors in relationships. Question 1: How do you feel when your partner is not around? I feel anxious and worry that they might not come back. I enjoy the time alone but look forward to seeing them again. I hardly notice they’re gone and don’t feel a strong need for them to return soon. I feel uncomfortable with too much closeness and need personal space. Question 2: How do you usually handle conflicts with your partner? I feel distressed and need reassurance that everything is okay. I address the issue calmly and work toward a resolution together. I try to avoid conflicts altogether, even if it means not discussing important issues. I often withdraw and prefer to solve problems on my own. Question 3: What best describes your typical approach to intimacy and closeness in relationships? I crave closeness and need constant reassurance from my partner. I am comfortable with intimacy and value a balanced, close relationship. I am not comfortable with too much closeness and prefer to keep some distance. I find intimacy overwhelming and tend to pull back when someone gets close. Question 4: How do you feel when your partner expresses their needs and emotions? I feel overwhelmed and worry about meeting their needs. I feel empathetic and supportive, ready to listen and help. I feel indifferent and sometimes annoyed by their needs. I feel trapped and prefer to avoid dealing with their emotions. Question 5: How do you typically react to perceived rejection or criticism from your partner? I feel devastated and worry that they might leave me. I feel hurt but can discuss my feelings and resolve the issue. I brush it [...]

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Burdened and Burned Out: Real Time Strategies For Stress Management

Burdened and Burned Out: Real Time Strategies For Stress Management

By Rockwall Christian Counseling|2024-08-31T06:57:10+00:00August 29th, 2024|Anger Issues, Depression, Featured|

People often use the phrase, “God won’t put more on you than you can bear.” It isn’t a scripture, but it’s often quoted to console ourselves when inundated with life’s stressors. Sometimes, it isn’t God so much as it is us. We are the ones who heap more onto our plates than we can manage. We bite off more than we can chew and become overwhelmed by the mounting pressures faced in our most meaningful roles and significant responsibilities. Our attempts to keep up with the demands of other people, and commitments between family, work, and other areas can launch us into an anxious frenzy. Whether it is trying to meet everyone’s needs with an individually sized portion of strength, energy, and time, we can find ourselves worried and stressed. It is likely more taxing for us to compete with our own notions of what we think will satisfy the people in our lives than what they may actually want and truly need. It is the on-ramp to burnout. When we find our minds accelerating with our lives and heartbeats, it may be time to pump the brakes and pull over to rest and regroup. Stress has often been referred to as a silent killer. It stealthily slips in when good intentions and high expectations meet. We commit to a set of standards that outpace what we can reasonably manage with the time and other resources at our disposal. Sometimes, it emerges from others, but often we add or adopt them as our own responsibility. Overcommitted and overextended, our schedules burst with a calendar full of agreements that seem difficult to rescind. Stress and Shame If we have had a history of high performance or closeted perfectionism, canceling our commitment to our ideals and expectations can make us [...]

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Why Do Codependent Relationships Happen? Signs of Codependency

Why Do Codependent Relationships Happen? Signs of Codependency

By Rockwall Christian Counseling|2024-07-19T13:24:26+00:00July 19th, 2024|Codependency, Couples Counseling, Featured, Individual Counseling, Relationship Issues|

Codependent relationships are when two people are excessively reliant on one other for a combination of emotional, mental, practical, and spiritual support. Together they develop a sort of imbalanced rhythm of give and take, with one person caring, giving, and nurturing while the other receives, controls, and directs. On the surface, these kinds of agreements might look copasetic, and it can be difficult to even detect the signs of codependency. Eventually, though, codependent partnerships are damaging and draining for those involved. Why do codependent relationships happen? People are complex and everyone is carrying around varying degrees of trauma. There could be events and experiences from as far back as childhood that have affected us and shaped the way we connect with others. For example, if our parents were neglectful of us as children, we might grow up with an anxious attachment style, meaning that we fear being alone or abandoned. We learned at an early age that it is possible to be forgotten about, and we developed ways of manipulating people’s attention and affection to avoid being left alone again. Sometimes it happens that we meet someone who has trauma or experiences similar to our own. Behind most codependent relationships is a fear of abandonment, low self-esteem, an inability to express emotions and needs, and an unwillingness to face problems. Some people are naturally empathetic and find genuine meaning in giving and serving others. When this instinct is combined with a fear of abandonment or emotional insecurity, however, those empathetic motivations become selfish. That person might be showing kindness simply to manipulate people into liking them. On the other hand, some people are narcissistic and have an elevated opinion of themselves. To others, they might appear confident and self-assured, but they, too, often have a fear of neglect or [...]

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Three Ways to Process Grief with God

Three Ways to Process Grief with God

By Rockwall Christian Counseling|2024-06-19T11:50:42+00:00June 19th, 2024|Featured, Grief Counseling, Individual Counseling|

Everyone experiences grief at some point. With any type of loss or major life transition, a person will experience some level of grief. Some situations only produce a little bit of grief – leaving one job to find another or a well-adjusted child goes off to college. Other situations – such as an unexpected job loss or the sudden death of a child – may produce more grief. This can make it difficult to process grief. These situations come with huge emotions that need to be processed. These emotions that go unchecked can cause difficulty in future relationships with others and with God. However, the person who is seeking emotional health and wellness needs to process their grief with God. Ways to Process Grief Here are three ways to process grief with God: 1. Cry out to God Pour out your emotions to God. Some of the best moments of intimacy with God happen when we are crying out to God. When we let out all our emotions and tell Him everything we’re thinking and feeling (even if they are negative emotions), this is when intimacy is best achieved. Tell God everything you feel about the situation. As you reveal more of what you feel, you may find lies and other, deeper, emotions underneath. For example, sadness over the loss of a child may reveal anger at God about taking the child away. This may also uncover a deeper layer of bitterness and resentment toward God. God loves us through all our emotions. He can handle everything. Imagine God as a large person with a big shoulder. He can handle us crying on His shoulder. God wants to be there for us. The more we bury and stuff our emotions, the more we rob ourselves of an opportunity to [...]

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Group Counseling or Individual Counseling? Pros and Cons

Group Counseling or Individual Counseling? Pros and Cons

By Rockwall Christian Counseling|2024-05-21T17:06:15+00:00May 20th, 2024|Featured, Group Counseling, Individual Counseling|

When going through a rough patch, you need a support network to help you process and manage the thoughts and emotions that come with it. Going through hardship alone can increase the sense of isolation, and it can deprive you of the wisdom and perspective that comes from garnering insight from others, including those who’ve had similar experiences. In such cases group counseling may be of help.Group counseling is one of the avenues you can take to get the support you need as you work through things. This article will describe group counseling alongside individual counseling, to help you decide which will work best for you.Group counseling unpackedGroup counseling is a form of talk therapy in which a group of between five and fifteen individuals gather at least once a week for about an hour to work through a topic or issue that all the group members are dealing with. Some of those issues and concerns will be detailed below. The group is guided by 1-2 counselors who have training in handling group therapy, and the counselor(s) works to make the group a safe space for every member.In group counseling, every member is given an opportunity to contribute to the discussion. As each member has had some experience with the issue, they can share their insights and questions with the other group members. It is thus quite interactive, and part of the counselor’s role is to ensure that the group feels safe enough for every member to contribute and that no one member dominates the conversation.Depending on how it’s been set up, you will likely encounter two kinds of groups. Some groups are closed, and that means until the group runs its course, no new members will join the group. This helps create a sense of continuity and familiarity, which [...]

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6 Reasons Therapy for Alcoholism in Women Should Differ from Men-Only Therapy

6 Reasons Therapy for Alcoholism in Women Should Differ from Men-Only Therapy

By Rockwall Christian Counseling|2024-05-20T10:51:39+00:00May 16th, 2024|Chemical Dependency, Featured, Individual Counseling|

Because alcohol use disorder (AUD) impacts men, women, and teens, it’s hard to distinguish treatment. There are many options to fit your needs and lifestyle. However, if you are a woman or you know a woman who is struggling with AUD, finding therapy for alcoholism that meets her specific needs is important. Here are six reasons therapy for alcoholism in women may need to differ from that of men. First, studies show that women who struggle with AUD, whether mild, moderate, or severe, tend to have lower self-esteem than men with alcohol issues. So, therapy for alcoholism needs to address self-esteem issues. Finding a counselor who works regularly with women on self-esteem is paramount. Second, the needs of women seeking treatment for AUD are different than many men simply because many women are still the primary caregivers and household managers for their families. Addressing roles in the household that may have an impact on a woman’s ability to overcome her struggle with alcohol can be a key to unlocking what her addictive triggers are. For example, if a woman has a partner who travels extensively and does not have family or friends who can help with occasional childcare needs, a woman may lean on alcohol extensively for stress relief and coping with the loneliness of being a solo parent for specific periods while her husband travels. Third, there is still a huge stigma in our culture toward women with AUD. Whether it’s perceived or real, women traditionally have fears about therapy for alcoholism simply because they don’t hear about other women in treatment. Fear of being discovered as having an issue with alcohol may be contributing to a woman’s anxiety in therapy for alcoholism. So, it’s important to find a counselor who can sensitively recognize and help her work [...]

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Bible Verses About Strength: Finding Help When You Need It

Bible Verses About Strength: Finding Help When You Need It

By Rockwall Christian Counseling|2024-04-15T18:23:27+00:00April 15th, 2024|Coaching, Featured, Individual Counseling, Personal Development, Spiritual Development|

The people that we most often look up to are those that show extraordinary resilience, and who have weathered storms well. They can be moms, businesspeople, members of the armed forces, missionaries, artists, athletes, or just your average Joe trying to do life well. The characteristic these individuals evince is strength, and it is a great quality to possess in everyday life. What do you do, though, if you don’t have enough strength to face a challenge? Sickness, abandonment by friends, financial problems, messy and complicated relationships – all of these are examples of things that can tax your strength and push you beyond your mental, physical, and emotional limits. Admitting that you lack strength is hard for many people; after all, who wants to be considered weak? However, it can be a show of great strength and character to acknowledge your weakness and your need for help. On the night that He was betrayed, Jesus needed His friends there to watch and pray with Him. He felt overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death, and He needed His friends with Him at that moment (Matthew 26: 36-46). Jesus’ example should embolden us to recognize when we are weak and to seek help from others when we need it. Bible verses about strength Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow [...]

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Teaching Your Child How to Control Anger Well

Teaching Your Child How to Control Anger Well

By Rockwall Christian Counseling|2024-03-18T15:33:43+00:00March 18th, 2024|Anger Issues, Christian Counseling for Children, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

When a child is born, they have a lot of things to figure out about themselves and the world around them. Everything, from moving about to eating, to playing, to communicating with others must all be learned. Another important part of what a child needs to learn is how to experience and express their emotions well, especially learning to control anger. Being able to regulate and express one’s emotions well has a positive impact on relationships and personal well-being. One of the key tasks of a parent or caregiver is to help a child understand their own emotions and to know what the most appropriate ways of expressing those emotions are. Much of this happens in the early, formative years of the child, though we are always growing and learning how to do better. Reasons children get angry When the words “temper tantrum” are uttered, more likely than not, the image that pops into our heads is a flailing, screaming child in the grocery store or park. Parents often wonder if their child’s behavior is normal, and they can find themselves thinking long and hard about what they can do to help their child. Younger children, below the age of four, can have multiple tantrums in a week. These can include kicking, crying, stomping, and pushing. As a child grows older, they ought to outgrow this behavior. There are many reasons a child gets angry, including the following: Family dysfunction and parenting styles A harsh parenting style that does not consider the child’s needs and personality, or parenting that is inconsistent can lead to a child exhibiting anger and aggression. Genetics This and other biological factors can play a role in a child displaying anger and aggression. Frustration Like any adult, children can get angry when their expectations and [...]

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Dealing with Anxiety in Adolescence

Dealing with Anxiety in Adolescence

By Rockwall Christian Counseling|2024-01-23T18:17:25+00:00January 23rd, 2024|Anxiety, Christian Counseling For Teens, Family Counseling, Featured|

Adolescence is a vulnerable period between childhood and adulthood marked by a rapidly changing body and fluctuating hormones. Anxiety is a natural response as teenagers try to adjust to these changes, figure out their identity, become more independent, try new things and deal with a major life transition. It is a deluge of newness. They may not yet be fully equipped to handle these added responsibilities and pressures as their brain is still developing and will not reach full physiological maturation until they are in their twenties. Anxiety in adolescence becomes cause for concern when it is excessive and irrational, and interferes with your teen’s school performance, sleep, social interactions, and ability to go about daily life. Things that cause anxiety in adolescence. There are countless things that contribute to anxiety in adolescence. From parental expectation to conform to their parents’ value system or pressure to succeed, to the demands they, their teachers, and society may put on them to meet societal norms, worry can spin out of control. As they attempt to juggle school, friends, and activities, they become overwhelmed. Much like newborns and babies, adolescents require more sleep than people in other stages of life. With all the activities, commitments, and young adult responsibilities, sleep deprivation significantly impacts a young person’s ability to cope with all that is going on in their lives, particularly when they overextend themselves, trying to do too much. Likewise, shame haunts and drives anxiety. Whether an adolescent fails in a competitive environment or just fears it, they can feel overwhelmed with life. How they are perceived by others, what they believe others think of them, peer pressure, concerns of body image, inadequate feelings driven by social media, all drive anxiety and fear about being humiliated and embarrassed. Physical and hormonal changes fuel [...]

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Breaking the Generational Cycle of Emotional Wounds in Families

Breaking the Generational Cycle of Emotional Wounds in Families

By Rockwall Christian Counseling|2024-01-04T11:42:38+00:00January 4th, 2024|Family Counseling, Featured, Relationship Issues|

Emotional wounds are caused by the deep psychological pain of being hurt by someone you love. Your mind does not differentiate between physical and emotional pain. Both register in the same part of your brain. However, unlike physical wounds such as a broken leg that others can see and empathize with, emotional wounds are often kept hidden or minimized. We try to cope by creating defense mechanisms that, instead of healing the wound, subconsciously create situations that cause us to feel wounded repeatedly. Left unaddressed, emotional wounds tend to grow deeper and fester, causing trust issues, damaging your feelings of self-worth, and negatively impacting your thoughts, beliefs, actions, and the way you interact with others. They can also get passed down from one generation to another, causing a cycle of pain that perpetuates itself and continues to affect the family’s dynamics and emotional health. Inter-generationality. Children unwittingly pick up on and internalize their parents’ sense of self-worth. No matter how much you may love your child(ren), or how good the guidance and advice you give them is as you try to teach them the important lessons of life, it is not enough to break the cycle. If you are still carrying around unhealed emotional wounds from your childhood that have not been addressed and dealt with, you will inadvertently model and pass them on to your children as well. Examples of things that can cause emotional wounds. Being lied to or betrayed. Injustice. Humiliation or shame. Abandonment. Physical or emotional neglect. Lack of emotional connection. Real or perceived rejection. Verbal or physical abuse. Invasion of privacy. Having one’s possessions stolen or destroyed. Breaking the cycle of emotional wounds in families. Acknowledge the pain. The first step to breaking the cycle is to recognize and acknowledge the emotional wound. Talk [...]

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